BUT...they could one day rival the legendary Bill Hoobastank!
Here's a typical greasy New Jersey moron with a bad haircut. He feverishly grins into the camera, happy to meet with creepy Rob Schneider, who made so many low class unfunny garbage comedy movies that his career finally screeched to a halt. A big pal of irritating Adam Sandler, he began his career playing obnoxious little assholes on "Saturday Night Live." Now he's doing the "point at THIS guy" pose with total jerks.
I forgot what this fanboy jerk's name is. I'll call him Joey, because most every wop jackass in New Jersey is named Joey. Joey, you are off to a fine start, but don't let your Mom keep using those disposable box cameras from Wal-mart. Get a fucking digital camera so the pictures won't turn out like SHIT.
Next?
DISQUALIFIED is THIS ASSHOLE. I couldn't tell if he's a delusional fan boy or a D-lister.
Never heard of this schmuck, of course.
"Authors" usually don't do well at these events, because New Jersey slobs have trouble reading, since they walk dragging their knuckles on the floor.
What kind of "author" could this clown be? He can't even write an interesting paragraph. He couldn't afford to be in a room with any D-lister with a fan base. Sensing defeat, he half-heartedly asks that people drop by his table. He'll have BOTH of his (what, self-published?) books for sale.
You can always tell a nobody by the inflated credits. These clods are never just an "author" or a "singer" it's always, "he's a writer, producer, actor, cartoonist, carpenter, pubic hair stylist..." on and on.
His "bio" starts tedious and goes nowhere, Calling him:
"an American music historian, radio personality, talk show host, and author, best known as the host of several hard rock and heavy metal-themed radio and television shows. He was born on August 8, 1964, in Summit, New Jersey, United States (US). He grew up in Madison, New Jersey, where he attended Madison High School. He became a fan of Kiss, Raspberries, and other bands including Aerosmith, Rush, UFO and Black Sabbath. During high school, he began to write reviews of records for school credit and soon found his passion in music..." Blah and BLAH.
And now? He has his own self-glorifying website, and he wanders around memorabilia shows interviewing has-beens for his website. Oooh, he talked to Ace Frehley. He talked to Carmine Appice. WOWIE.
I don't think the event was a success for him. He didn't post any pix afterward, of him signing autographs for happy fans, or clutching the bony shoulder of Terry Moore.
So we turn all the cards over and go right to the most Hoobastanky of the newcomers!
The up-and-coming fanboy to watch, and most definitely uglier than even Bill, is Vic the Ick.
Congrats, ICK!
He loves to take "wild and crazy" photos of himself and New Jersey jerks he knows.
At the CHILLER show, he discovered that for $20 he could stand next to a woman not quite so smelly and nauseating as the ones he usually hangs with. Here, somewhat sober, sporting fresh dentures, clean hair, and wearing a modest shirt since she removed her implants and had multiple-surgeries to correct all the damage, is perennial laughingstock, bimbo Tara Reid.
Right, and this pig-faced cretin with his tattoos and his oh-so-cool sunglasses hanging off his shirt, can fantasize that he did more than give her a twenty while she held her breath.
Who else did icky Vic rub up against? He wasn't too particular, was he. Any idea who the aging dimwit is? He's got a thumb up, as if posing with our boy with the Roast Pork face is a real delight. Is he a Google CEO? Is he the author of a bad sci-fi series? Was he a member of Gary Lewis and the Playboys years ago? Could this boring looking spud be an actor of some kind?
Why it's Dennis Haskins. (WHO?) A member of the cast of "Saved By The Bell." (WHAT?)
Keep it up Vic, and you might have our Bill worried enough to pose with even more idiots next time. He might even pay $20 to pose with YOU!
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