I DREAD THE VIEWS TODAY, OH BOY (arrogant ebay sluts)

You remember "A Day in the Life."

"Woke up, fell out of bed, took some selfies giving head..."

No, no. That wasn't it. Was it?

"A DAY IN LIFE" or "A DAY IN MY LIFE" etc. are now CODE PHRASES for arrogant EBAY sluts selling their "naughty" SELFIES. The higher the bid, the "naughtier" the pictures. Get it?

The preening ads, usually show females who are not exactly attractive, but as Lenny Bruce used to say, "Men will fuck mud. Men will fuck a chicken." Men are desperate.

Men even fine plastic-faced bitches attractive. So any self-absorbed lumpy-lipped Kardashian wanna-be can gaze at herself, take that selfie, and post it and demand money. Typical of the clueless, facially distorted narcissistic twats out there who expect men to pay for it:

The ads usually have lines like: "Come and get 'em, boys," or "You know you want it. Bid bid bid!"

Here's an EBAY BITCH who isn't saying she'll send naked pix, or used underwear. She just takes a SELFIE, says "PANTIES" in the header, and expects money!

They got the pussy, you know. Lah-dee-frickin-dahhhhhh.

Want more? Of course you do, BOYS.

YOU want MORE. Heh heh heh, MY LOVELIES.

Yes, these mincing, sneering, jeering EBAY bitches love to write condescending copy, calling men "boys" and "my lovelies" and "my fans," etc. etc.

That's part of the game. They use names like "Goddess" and they figure the more the BOYS feel small, the bigger and harder their dicks get.

After all, they have two lumps and a hole. Or two. Or three. Who wouldn't want to send them money so they can e-mail a few photos of themselves?

Take this GORGEOUS bitch.

Look (and I know you're looking, my LOVELIES), you're saying, "Oh she ain't so ugly. I'd tap her."

Sure, but you ain't gonna. She thinks you should spend money on her JUST TO LOOK.

That goes for this marshmallow-thighed wonder. No, she's not bad either. You wouldn't toss her out of bed, har har har.

Some girls won't show you much except an ASS to worship. Not until you BID BID BID! And PAY PAY PAY! Then you get a glimpse of "A DAY IN HER LIFE." Or the life of whoever downloaded the photos off the Net, pretending to be a woman.

My lovelies, you DON'T get to see her face unless you BID BID BID BID BID, and bid HIGH. So hurry up, BOYS.

Want exotic? Oh, pay ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for THIS, my DESPERATE LOVELIES.

A day in her life involves a pump? Yes, a pump:

You read it right. For your ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS you get exactly FIVE precious pictures of her, using her PUMP.

You could get any amount of nasty dirty pictures you want just by typing in a few choice words on GOOGLE, but the hook here, is that you can actually e-mail a real girl who will then have you pay for her soiled underwear, or ten minutes of phone sex. Isn't that LOVELY my LOVELIES?

That is, if the seller is actually a woman. Most of them, of course, are NOT. They are guys who stole a bunch of amateur sex pix off a website and are playing pretend, for kicks and $$$$$. Does that make you feel foolish, BOYS?

Of course not, BOYS, because you BOYS have been programmed to slobber and pop your eyes and pant and come running like ridiculous dogs. Ooooh, the scent of pussy, MY LOVELIES. You'll do anything. You'll pay anything. At least, that's what the EBAY BITCHES think, and guess what, some get $20 or more, which is worth getting auctions stopped within hours, or getting suspended.

Oh, that girl with the PUMP? That auction got shot down SO quick. She posted another.

And now you get to see her oh so lovely face, MY LOVELIES.

She figured without showing a PUMP the ad would be a little less grotesque. But the copy?

There, my LOVELIES, and she lowered her price from $100 to $50. How nice of her.

Yes, there's someone for every BOY out there. How about BOYS who have a thing for older women??

Some of these bitches are absolutely ordinary looking, but if they have NICE TITS, nothing else matters. That's part of the wily conjob. Some dope thinks a bitch like this is going to fly across the country to become his girlfriend.

Come on, BOY. You look at this, and your ever-ridiculous optimism kicks in. "She's kinda cute. I bet I can turn her around. She's probably not a money-grubbing cynical cunt, but a sweet girl who just needs to meet Mr. Niceguy."

Tee and Hee. No way this bitch is into "Man and Wife."

Little Miss Smirk will play any bidder for ALL that he's worth. More photos? PAY ME. MAYBE some phone chat? PAY ME. Always for more and more money. Tease, flirt, get more money every time. If the fool really starts whining like a frustrated dog, and starts barking on the phone about wanting to meet, why, shout, "That's it" and hang up. Disconnect the phone number (it's one of twenty or thirty she's using). Leave the guy to sit around listening to "Yesterday." And then trying some other EBAY slut.

Hey, THIS bitch isn't too homely. Maybe she'll take pity, and aside from sending a few photos, offer a few kind words? Maybe instead of phone sex, offer half-price to just talk to somebody who needs a feminine ear to listen??

Oof. No, I don't think this Scary Spice creature is the type. She'd be very impatient about getting the money and getting you OFF the phone. Time is money. And play-for-pay women know it, and know how to play the games and take the winnings.

When "A DAY IN MY LIFE" becomes so well known to EBAY "sheriffs" that all auctions get shot down within a few hours, maybe the EBAY ladies will find some other song-title code word. Maybe "Only the Lonely."

And they will be laughing all the way to the bank, BOYS.