The Ukraine Girls Really Knock Me Out - On how STOOOPID THEY ARE

First, a shout-out to the drummer for "Back in the USSR." Ringo just announced he's having a mammoth auction of 800 items, including a guitar Lennon gave him, and the drum kit McCartney used to bash about with on Macca's first solo album.

He closed his Monte Carlo apartment, got rid of an extra home in England, and claims to be downsizing because he just can't deal with all the confusion and the junk in storage. Maybe he'll even be selling a copy of the "USSR" lyrics.

Now as to that "Ukraine girls really knock me out" line.

Er, NO.

WHO is believing that this bitch is a virgin? Yes, she's selling adorable SNOOPY undies (Snoopy is popular in Kiev?) but NO, this is a truly ludicrous lie.

Is she claiming she filched them out of her younger sister's hamper or something? Nah.

She's off. And so is the auction.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

From the boring town of Bellmore, where low-rent Long Island losers have nothing better to do but be noxious "swingers"...

This cow is no virgin. She's STOOOOPID, though. WHO in their right mind would want HER underwear?

Does she throw in a free gas mask?