Pigs, Bitches and Distorted Ebay Cows

"It isn't just homosexuals who don't like women," Ernest Gebler wrote. "NOBODY LIKES THEM."

Ernie was, of course, using a bit of hyperbole. He was married, after all. At least once.

It's easy to agree with the guy, especially these days, when the standards of beauty have become literally distorted. Thanks to Kim Kuntrashian, "beauty" means an enormous Negroid butt and blubbery, flubbery, rubbery Negroid lips.

Anyone with some extra foam rubber and access to a "doctor" from Pakistan can accomplish this.

Oh. And add big fake silicone tits.

Thus, we have mongoloid sluts on EBAY who think that it would be a privilege just to SKYPE with them.

Considering their body odor, probably they're right. SKYPE would be preferable than to meet 'em in person.

Jesus Fuckin' Christ, isn't everyone TIRED of these dimwit self-absorbed human Tampaxes staring into their fucking CAMERAS while taking selfies? They can't even look up at you??

PS, remember when the girls in the men's mags had personality?

They weren't blow-up dolls. They weren't robots. This distorted beast is fake tits, fake lips and no brain. No eye-contact. She's showing off what morons think is sexy: plastic and collagen.

Name the great sex symbols and models. They ALL looked like they could hold a conversation. Bardot. Ann-Margret. Raquel Welch. Gina Gershon. Go up and down the list from Theda Bara to Angelina Jolie. These women had FACES. They have some intelligence. They can talk to you about current events. They aren't fuck-toys. Christ, even Heidi Klum has a personality. When you found a favorite "pin-up girl," aside from her tits and twat and tush, didn't you look at her eyes? Her natural mouth? Wasn't there something human about her?

THIS fe-monster only shows you distorted lips and grotesque fake tits, because that's all she is. She's a slot machine. Only you don't get into her slot. You just SKYPE with her. Which isn't even talking.

What the hell would you SKYPE with this mutant about for an hour?

She expects to make easy money standing around like a statue or bending over like a Barbie doll while the lucky guy wanks. Right? Ebay bidders are so sad and pathetic and desperate they can't see they're better off just watching porn on line?

Meanwhile, other pigs and bitches, less high-tech, figure that mere photos of themselves would do for any peon with a penis.

It's really an extra "thrill" that your Pictures of Emily come from some guy pretending to be a female, offering shots he downloaded off the Net somewhere?

I suppose in some cases, the pig is SO homely you can believe it's actually her. And your expectations are SO low and your self-worth so low you're actually thinking, "Hmmm, maybe I can start up a relationship with this woman?" Really? The whore with the heart of gold? You want to take in some meth-freak, some herpes-ridden dimwit who is sending her photos to strangers? A PIG-FACED dirt bag like THIS?

What, she's going for the Drew Barrymore Lobotomy look? Show us your tattoos and the rest of your piercings. Show us more of your udders, cow.

On second thought. NO.

Now HERE's a bitch who isn't a pig or a cow. She is prime 100% spoiled nasty arrogant twat-meat. And isn't that what some masochistic idiots LOVE? Oooh, a real BITCH heartbreaker, a "Goddess" to worship. Right. She's sucking off her black pimp but a bunch of idiots are sighing and jerking off to the photos they bought of her. Photos, by the way, that don't begin to rival what you'll find in any Razzle, Nugget, Juggs, Hustler, Penthouse back issue lying in the trash for free.

Lah-DEE-Dah!

You can almost hear the Rolling Stones song throbbing. "BITCH!"

She knows it, and she's counting on some idiots to pant over the idea of getting 10 "random" shots of her, pictures that they'd barely even find erotic if they flipped through a copy of any second-rate sex magazine. You think this bitch is even competition for a Victoria's Secret catalog?

NO. But the whole scam with these grape-brained slits is: "Guys are so desperate, so laughable, so ridiculous, the idea that they are making ANY kind of contact with a real live female is enough to make 'em dig DEEPER and DEEPER into their wallets."

If they can. Too bad, all of the above were removed by EBAY. Yes, even a soulless website that is the biggest fence for stolen goods has SOME morality and taste.