If Real Lingerie Stores Operated like EBAY BINTS

You walk into a department store's lingerie department.

You want to buy something nice for your girlfriend.

WOW. All the sales help are walking around in underwear. Some are even topless. Like this:

OK, she's got fake tits, but they're tits.

She saunters over, wiggles, jiggles, and explains, "These briefs are on sale. I won't sell you the ones I'm wearing. They're just for show! You'll get CLEAN ONES! But if you buy several pair, I'll give you some naked pix of me. And who knows."

Huh?

But that kind of "logic" works on EBAY.

Most of the time. The standard line is "Attention EBAY, I am selling NEW panties, these are just to show how they fit." How nice of you, bitch.

The trouble comes when a greed-bint goes just a little too far. Even the dumbest EBAY potato reads THIS thing and shuts it down.

Happily, plenty of others, with "Luscious" or "Sexy" or "XXX" in their names are thriving. Plenty are, no doubt, using simple underwear sales as a come-on for phone sex, Skype sex, and whatever else. After all, when they're selling underwear in the hidden ADULT section, and posing in them, or charging $25 for a pair and insisting "New With Tags, Will be Washed as Per EBAY Policy," that sounds SO legit. NOT.

Clearly the only way for "brick and mortar" lingerie shops to compete anymore would be to offer total nudity, and racks of "used" underwear. Or just have "MASSAGE" written in big letters.