"I've realized I'm a failure because I have no knickers!! It turns out, people on GooTube do much better if they have knickers on. Smelly knickers! Why, I just saw some weird shit on GooTube that involved smelly niggers — er, I mean knickers — and some white trash bint who wears 'em till they are so ripe they stink from a mile away!"
"This made me tremble. I ran to the bathroom mirror to see if I was hallucinating. All I saw was an out of focus blob. That was me, all right. So I picked up my guitar and wrote a quick monotonous song:
"I don't like niggers, I don't like niggers, they get to fuck white skanks and I don't, I don't. The white skanks got smelly knickers and I smell without wearing any, without wearing any."
"If I'm Being HONEST, I thought I was "Uncle Pain" but I am merely Knickerless Pain. This big brown blob is "Uncle Pain" and he could prove it by breaking my idiot neck if I dared sniff his white whore's knickers without paying. Well, I'm not paying because I can go down to the Grimsby docks at low tide and it'll smell like this bint. The money I save will help me buy a light bulb so I can actually have some better lighting. I might even consider buying some knickers, although they only sell tiny ones with flowers or mermaids on them for virgin girls like me.
"Here's another thing that scares me. It's rebels who are no longer tolerating suspension on EBAY and have formed a stinking underground all their own! Good Lord, that looks like the daughter of Dame Edna!"
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