"Who is that crazy obese old lady?" someone called.
It was Knickerless Payne, the famous androgyne.
After nearly 50 years a virgin, Payne's sex change has made him the strangest sight in England since Kellie (formerly Frank) Maloney.
"I did it as a career move," Payne explained. "I wasn't getting anywhere posting GooTube videos of myself singing. Tiger Lily was going nowhere as a two-man group. For one thing, neither of us could answer the main fan question, 'Which one is Tiger and which one is Lily?' Although I always sort of thought of myself as Lily.'"
Using a new camcorder on loan from Shauna Cuntwell, featuring a script by Bill Hoobastank and direction from Barren Cock, Payne figured he couldn't miss. BUT...
"Fuck off, Obama! You've blocked my movie getting into stores!"
Reminded that the film was produced in England, and Obama couldn't possibly have anything to do with its fortunes, and that HMV doesn't stock home-made DVDs, Payne calmed down.
He is now chanting, "Fuck Off, Cameron!" Worse, he's gotten out his guitar.
So far all we have is the mock-up for the film's box cover.
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