But BING, the alternative from MasterGates, is a jerk-off pile of obvious, obnoxious goo:
Nothing much happening in the world, huh? Same old same old.
Nepal? Look, God does NOT like pie-faced over-breeding rock climbers. There's always a fucking earthquake in the Far East somewhere, and the other fact you can take to the bank is that China, Russia and North Korea will not give ONE PENNY in disaster aid.
The Nipples, incidentally, aren't all in Nepal. The news in America showed a bunch of them lighting candles (always useful...God LOVES candles, as it makes him think it's his birthday). The scene was in Queens, New York. The Nipples have the largest swell there. Why? Queens is the mecca for Asians of all types. Even the former denizens of Chinatown moved there. Rents are cheap, and enterprising Asians fund each other in opening fruit stands and buying buildings so they can make sure the rents stay reasonable for themselves. Korean brothels. Filipino markets. Nepalese clothing shops. Indian food. It's all in Queens, if you want an exotic day of shopping.
America is rushing as much money as possible, and using GoFundMe, mainly because the last thing they want is more Nipple immigrants.
Next door to disaster is, of course, the twin cunt demons of Bruce Jenner and Hillary Clinton.
This is what BING figures is the second and third most important news of the day.
There's no way a media whore Jenner or Kardashian isn't going to be a major news item on ANY given day, and now that Clinton is the favorite to win the Democratic nomination for President, the world's misogynists and America's predominant Liberal-haters have to accuse her of something every single day. Or, re-accuse her of the same stupid shit every single day. Oooh, she's corrupt. Oooh, she single-handedly caused a bunch of urine-faced terrorists to attack one of our embassies. Oooh, she caused a total eclipse of the sun.
And lastly, according to BING, we have more stories of American pussyhood. REAL pussyhood. Hillary Clinton has a vagina, but she was born with one. Bruce Jenner is insane, so he has to make more of a fuss about getting his dick removed than Walter Carlos or the Wachowski guy who made all the hit movies with his brother but then became his sister.
No, the real American pussyhood is in not beheading two mass murderers who are STILL on trial.
This is #4 and #5 for BING today, as items the public should be concerned about. Well, yes, the reason to be concerned is that neither of these bratty maniacs is likely to get killed. They'll be pampered as long as they live, and be sought after for interviews, and be even more of a nuisance than Mark David Chapman or "Son of Sam" Berkowitz, two pieces of shit who spend their time telling the world Jesus forgives them.
Holmes is, finally, going to trial. He's the asshole who murdered people in a movie theater and then, in dyed hair and making an annoying "Look at me, I'm Crazy" face, declared he was The Joker, or something, and so should be kept pampered and well fed somewhere nice and safe. Meanwhile "Joker," the pretty boy Muzzie with the curly hair, pouty lips, and hummus brain, is still getting his "fair" trial, and deliberation on the death penalty. As if he'll get what he deserves. No, he won't get death. He'll get life in pampered prison where he can give the finger to surveillance cameras, and start talking to Diane Sawyer or anyone else, about how America should be destroyed, and more people should buy pressure cookers and blow off the legs of Americans, kill their children, and make life rotten because that's what Allah wants.
BING! There's the news of the day. What a lovely and inspiring start to the morning.
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