Judge says dogshit-brained John Updegraff and Karen Szewc are pigs

Here's an unusual ruling on the side of sanity and humanity.

For once, HUMANS are placed above DOGS. A judge ruled AGAINST noisy dog owners.

Selfish stupid obnoxious shit-for-brains John Up-his-ass and his bitch Karen Sewer were finally taken to court and successfully prosecuted.

Hey, greedhead shits, DON'T breed big slobby loud mastiffs...and be so obnoxious that you don't care if your neighbors suffer.

This happens all the time with arrogant Goddam dog owners. They move in and dictate the rules, which include: "My dog can bark anytime and for hours and hours. My dog is my burglar protection. When I'm away, I don't care how much neighbors suffer from the noise. My crap is protected! Ha ha ho ho hee hee!"

People talk about the stress of daily life. One major stress is NOISE.

One of the worst stresses is sudden, shocking NOISE, exactly the kind made by a barking dog.

Shit-head dog owners don't care. They know exactly when Muffin is going to erupt with a barrage of howls and yowls. Ha ha, Muffin knows it's time to go walkies. Ha ha, Muffin is telling us it's time to go out. Ha ha, we're goading the animal into barking louder and longer by "talking" to it: "Wanna go out, Muffin?" "ARF!" "You do?" "ARF ARF ARF!" "Are you sure?" "ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF."

Meanwhile, next door, you're trying to read a book, watch some TV, concentrate on something...and suddenly it's BARKING BARKING BARKING. You're shocked, your heart races, then you have to wait till it stops and wonder WHEN it will ever stop.

How many times have you tried to take a peaceful walk and two asshole dog-walkers are grinning as their animals bark at each other?

How many times have you nearly jumped out of your skin because a stupid (and dogs ARE stupid) animal started a barking jag because a leaf fell off a tree, or a butterfly skittered past the window?

Humans are intelligent, well-tuned beings with delicate nerves. Their lives shouldn't be disrupted by the inane yapping of a stupid, dangerous, drooling, loud, insect-ridden, foul-breathed shit-machine.

If I'm being honest, if I was in charge, dog breeding would be illegal. NO DOG BREEDING. There is no shortage of dogs at SPCA shelters everywhere. And all dogs at shelters need to be neutered and have their vocal cords removed.

You like animals? Get a bunny. Get a guinea pig. Get a giraffe. Get fish. Get a turtle. Get something QUIET.

It's a farce that idiots love dogs so much and allow all this literal NOISE and SHIT because THEY like the "amusement" of owning a stupid beast. Koreans have the right idea. They eat dogs.

There's no excuse for having to suffer because of a poorly trained dog.

Aside from blind people, almost everyone owns a dog for entertainment, and being able to play God and have something to leash and yell at. Dogs are like boom boxes and fireworks. All this noise should be restricted to specific times and places.

The worst thing about a dog barking is you never know when it'll start or stop and the prick who owns the animal is usually not around to do anything about the headache.

Maniacs who breed nasty little yappy dogs and gigantic hounds of the Baskervilles are the worst, but almost ALL dogs are a waste of space. Did you know the "beagle" was named because it was BUGLE-loud? You have to be a shit-for-brains to like the sound of a dog's bark. Nothing in the world is uglier, and that includes Kanye's music and Kardashian's ass.