Cleese - $20 Million Ain't Cheese

I suppose we can "thank" John Cleese's cunty ex-wife for all the Python activity of late.

Without this psychotherapist bitch fooling him into marriage and a vicious divorce settlement that has her set for life, John wouldn't have joined all the tired and tedious re-unions.

Interesting, that in this miserable age of piracy, Cleese was able to raise TWENTY MILLION just by doing a one man show AND joining the Pythons. Just how much he made on his own, I have no idea. But it's nice to know that with ticket prices routinely $100 or more (with scalpers happily taking the best seats, and giving NONE of the profit to the artist) Cleese could make so much money and pull himself out of twat-debt.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, John is the only likable and charismatic member of the cast. Palin is likable, but that's about it. The others no question wrote some memorable material, but rarely did they add much. Aside from some cheerfully idiotic moments from Palin, and the occasional weirdness from Chapman, anyting they wrote could've been better served by a Kenneth Williams, Marty Feldman, or Peter Sellers. But most were dead or dying by the time Python was on the BBC.

Now that Cleese is out of the hole caused by marrying a hole, he vows to complete a project worthy of Eric Idle...taking a middling cult movie and turning it into a fucking musical.

Yes, the deadly dull Tribeca Film Festival is over, and nobody was all that impressed with the constantly-back-together Pythons being in town. They were actually eclipsed, sort of, by a few cast members from "Goodfellas" standing around talking about what a great film they made 25 years ago. They did this as a favor to Robert DeNiro, who runs this fucking Tribeca Film Festival but is so inept at talking, that he needs others to help him promote it. The film festival, which promotes shitty indie movies, tries to find major stars who'll salute an anniversary of an older film. "Goodfellas" and "Holy Grail" were (sh)it for this year.

The Pythons may have sold out their screening of "Holy Grail" but who cares? While in town they made a very forgettable appearance on puppy Jimmy Fallon's "Tonight Show." There, the ever egomaniacal host decided to have Cleese get behind the desk while HE, the great Fallon, sat on the couch and pretended to be a member of the Pythons. Any question Cleese asked, and Fallon answered it with a McCartney voice, which is his go-to British accent.

Painfully awful. The Pythons all looked their age and had nothing to say. The very forced questions didn't give them any chance to be "zany." There's nothing sadder than mad comedians being lobbed easy questions so they can intentionally appear "mad." It just doesn't work. Cleese's very stale and pointless gag, once he left Fallon's desk, was to keep grumbling that he didn't want to sit near Terry Gilliam. Huh? Gilliam, half asleep and sporting a goatee, is the least-known Python, so why even muck up a rivalry?

Somebody mentioned how they used coconuts in "Holy Grail" because, ho ho, the budget wouldn't let them use real horses. Zzz. ONE lousy 8 minute spot, dominated by Macca-Fallon, and it ended with Jimmy shouting that the entire audience was going to get to be at the screening, free. Hmmm, guess that show was NOT sold out!

About the only good thing was that Eric Idle didn't smirk too much and mostly kept his gob shut. AMAZING.

In the photo, you'll notice some turd named John Oliver. I have no idea why he's in the picture. I guess he must've been the "host" of the Python "let's go watch "Holy Grail" again" evening, and maybe he hosted a Q&A afterward. Whatever. He's a late night cable talk show host, having replaced somebody or other on Comedy Central. People insist he's hilarious and witty and he isn't.

Back to Cleese. He obviously has the most prestige and perhaps the better publicist, since he was the only one to emerge from this with an interview quote. Then again, who wouldn't have sympathy for a guy who supposedly has a dark, acidic wit, but is so much of a romantic he sticks his dick into a flytrap and needs $20 million to get it out again? Oh, the horror. The nightmare is over for John. Now comes our ultimate dream: a fucking musical based on "A Fish Called Wanda." Can't wait for the reviews: "The Fish STINKS..."