Not only are they an amoral pea-brained bunch of dangerous, inbred over-breeding hypcrites and freaks...they's damn entertaining.
Tell me YOU wouldn't have wanted to be at foxy 35 year-old White Trash Rachel Lynn Lehnardt's hearty party!
Yep. I know. She ain't the stereotype of the tooth-challenged, obese meth-addicted redneck freak bitch.
She's the stereotype of the brainless bleach-brained bimbo alcoholic who don't care when, where or how many.
She's spawned five sluts already but wants to prove she's the mama cougar Queen of the Litter. You can betcha that she's a Sarah Palin fan, and raves about Jeeeeeeesus ever' Sunday.
How dumb, cootie-infested and STOOOPID does this triple-named hoyden heifer have to be, to get herself arrested??
Happily, all it's done is sent the rooster call throughout the county, so that when she's liquored up again (which will be at sundown) half the town's rabid tomcats will be ready to bang her, or one of her daughters, or the whole gang.
Southern swine like Rachel really have nothing better to do. They are like fatty strips of bacon; they're going to sizzle and stink till they curl up for a premature death. They jump into that frying pan and make sure to Go Like Elijah. They usually are on welfare, or they work dumbass assembly line jobs and "blow off steam" at 5pm with binge beer drinking on into the night. They are all physical, have no mentality, and their alphabet generally is limited to KKK.
The toughest thing for them to do is think up three names for their spawn. The boys are usually Billy Bob, Billy Joe, Billy Jack, etc. etc. The sluts almost always have Biblical first names and Nazi last names.
Unlike other ethnics, the White Trash version has that Southern charm and, until it rots, the ladies have the George peach complexions and that All-American appetite for suck-and-fuck. Is there anything as coquettish as that Scarlett O'hara drawl? It doesn't matter what drivel she dribbles, she's the belle who is soon mouth-deep in balls. Sheeee-it, yeah!
The Latinos are too greasy. So are the Eye-talians. The blacks are too chimpy. The Muzzies are too savage (the beheadin's y'all) and EVERYBODY hates the Jews. You can go on and on down the line of race, religion and origin. None are as fine as the White Trash Jesus-Lovin' Redneck Scum of America. The guys have the romance of gunfights and rifle shoots, and the yee-hah zest for extinguishing life or procreating too much of it. The women start off real slim and purty, before turning into toothless tubs of taffy. And unlike most of the other ethnic groups, their astonishing stupidity and crimes tend to be very entertaining. Stories like this one ALWAYS have a byline that says Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, Georgia or Florida.
Heck fire, Uncle Jed, even the Southern horror stories are A number one, like the Florida bum who ate another bum's face while in a meth delerium. They could've made a movie out of that...and probably will.
You can just hear Rachel Lynn Lehnardt in court, shiftin' her hips as she chews gum and tries to talk at the same time: "Yore Ornery, I stand before ya and appeal to ya." "Ya sure do, little lady. You come back to my chambers and I'll fill ya cooter till my spuz snots outta ya like it would a possum's snooter!"
Or something like that.
Do us all a favor, Rachel Lynn Lehnardt, before you shoot yourself in the head ala Mindy McCready, do make that golden, extra-loud porno tape for us to remember you by. Yeeeeeeeeeeeee-hah!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.