Shauna's manager is preparing to prepare a presentation reel: "I'm going on Kickstarter to present a presentation to raise money for a presentation reel. Why should I spend my own money, when I need every $40 to increase my collection of D-list celebrity selfies?"
Indeed, Bill has not yet put his arm around the girl who played "Tabitha the Baby" on "Bewitched," the second Marilyn Munster, or, the monolith from 2001.
"Horror is always eye-catching," says Bill as he glances into a mirror. "Shauna has worked up an uncanny resemblance to Maila Nurmi!"
WHO?
Bill rolls his eyes, then chases after them. Fanboys don't call her VAMPIRA, they show their EXPERTISE by dropping her real name: MAILA NURMI.
"Shauna will play MAILA NURMI, but, to avoid problems with her estate, we're calling her Smelly Nervy. The tickets to the show will be scratch-and-sniff and have the scent of shaving cream and herring!"
Likewise, unable to use the copyrighted VAMPIRA, Shauna will call herself CUNTPIRA.
"You see, she's the exact OPPOSITE. Maila is from Finland, and Shauna is from Ireland. Maila was famous for black hair and a voluptuous figure, and Shauna has wispy blonde hair and a flat chest. Yet both overcame the same adversity: having only one eyebrow that worked."
Shauna will use some of Nurmi's make-up secrets: she'll pucker up to a rotten tomato and come away with gooey red lips.
Bill and Shauna know the value of NETWORKING, and getting important endorsements from movers and shakers around the Internet.
Their Kickstarter pitch will include powerful words from DANTE, who is one of those famous guyyyyysssss who doesn't have to use a last name. He has his own Farcebook and Twatter account, is also registered at LinkedIn, has a lot of APPS, and posts selfies every day to Instagram and six of the top gay dating sites.
"This will put us over the top," Bill gurgles.
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