Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Bill's Islamic Gurgle

"I'm thinking of bidding on the new Yusuf Cat Stevens GREATEST HITS album," gurgles Bill Hoobastank.

He figures there are a lot of soft-headed old hippies out there who'll buy it JUST to support a Muslim. What better way to show the world that not all Muslims are dangerous, than to embrace cuddly little Yusuf?

Why, he ONLY agreed that it was a good idea to kill Rushdie, and that Islamic laws must always be obeyed. Let's ignore it and listen to him croon "Wild World" accompanied by guitar and the ka-ching of a cash register.

One thing about James Taylor, you KNEW he was a psycho. He had that Anthony Perkins stare. But Cat Stevens acted as if he was normal. Just imagine if he happened to meet Rushdie at a party...and stabbed the man to death. It could've happened.

"As for the new album," Bill says, "The deal hinges on one thing: if he'll take $20 to pose for a photo with me."

Bill hasn't changed his diaper in several days now. "I thought he might be more prone to come over and stand next to me if I smell like stinky halal food!"

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.