"It's me, the fabulous Shauna Cuntwell! I am SO proud of being on iTunes, and on just about every website you can think of. I thought you should know I'm also on this great new PORN site!
"Please vote for me in the Flat-Chested Irish Bint category.
"I'm also in Most Jizzed-on Newcomer, and Most Out of Tune Farts.
"If you watch my first video, after that guy pulls his dick out of my ass, I make a fart that's quite pitchy. Shit! Which I did.
"My fart videos will be sold under my porn name, Taylor Whiff. The soundtracks will be on iTunes, as soon as I can make sure to fart a perfect B Flat. If anyone can B Flat, it's me!
"I hope to do some bukkake for you guyyyysss, but I need to have my eyes wide shut. With eyes as wide as mine, it takes an hour to close them. Yow, by that time I'll have a lot of itching in my eyyyyyyes, guyyyyys!
"If you're wondering about my bandmates, Barren Cock is planning on watching his wife fuck the postman, the milkman and the delivery kid from the chip shop. While she's doing it, he'll train the camera on himself and he'll describe what it's like to be a fat, impotent cuckold. 48 minutes of his wife getting gangbanged, and he'll be grimacing and whispering all about it on GooTube! Then he'll report on whether the torch he bought on Amazon can help him see all the way into her gaping twat.
"As for Bill, the porn site is confused. Big tits and a dick? Maybe Bill's porn should be posted under "tranny." Or should he be under a tranny and the porn posted as "horror movie?"
"The porn producers are upset with what happened the other day with him. He went to the studio and a scat freak came up to Bill and said, "Can I pose for a selfie with you? You look like a huge pile of dung!" Bill got so upset! That's when The Shit hit The Fan!"
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