Friday, August 7, 2015

Alexander Hamilton? That White Nigga be SMOKIN' on Broadway, Yo

Remember the Beatles parodies by Peter Sellers and by Hendra & Ullett? The joke was to imagine Beatles tunes recited in the manner of Dylan Thomas or Shakespeare.

A big joke, too, was to take a Shakespeare play, or any classic, and "imagine" it performed as a hoedown, or with Twist dance music, or some other ludicrous music.

It's no joke anymore.

Just a week or two ago the sullen GENIUS, Eminem, unveiled his latest atrocity and he was acclaimed as the most brilliant LYRICIST of his time.

But hey, YO, he ain't got nuthin' on this:

No one really knows how

The game is played

The art of the trade

How the SAUSAGE GETS MADE.

Got that? Profound? Hard to write rhymes like that? A brilliantly new idea?

Those lines were quoted, PROMINENTLY, in the fucking WALL STREET JOURNAL review of "Hamilton," now on Broadway.

The other night, there was a bit of the show on the news (it is, after all, a black/Latino production and most of the performers are black/Latino, and BLACK/LATINO MATTERS!)

No less an authority on Broadway culture than President Obama went to a preview of it. Because BLACK/LATINO MATTERS, and he sure as hell wouldn't drag his famba-lee up to New York to see Shakespeare in the Park.

The clip I saw, showed a bunch of blacks in Revolutionary War costumes, madly rap-dancing all over the stage...like headless chickens. Not a parody...not Dick Shawn doing Hitler jive in "The Producers." This is being taken seriously.

"Hamilton" is now the hottest show in town, even hotter than the endless GAY shows and DRAG shows (although "Kinky Boots" and "Hedwig" are both still mincing along nicely).

You can't be a white liberal and NOT go see "Hamilton." And if you're an affluent black (like, you make $100,000 teaching school or being a school janitor) you're gonna see THIS and not "Chicago" or "Phantom of the Opera" fer Chrissake. (Although you might go to "Lion King" first and take along your 7 or 8 kiddies).

The fat-faced white guy in the Wall Street Journal was pissing his pants over this show.

Sure, how REVOLUTIONARY. The irony is that Hamilton, one of the most important figures in American history, is getting his ass kicked off the $10 bill. It was "decided" that a WOMAN had to be on one of the 5 most popular paper money bills. Preferably, a BLACK WOMAN. But for now, the story of Alexander Hamilton (with the bonus violence of his gun-duel death) is da shit.

And nevermind that Hamilton didn't have little piggy-chin whiskers, and the rest of the Founding Fathers were not BLACK/LATINO.

Need I go on? All you have to do is check out a promo clip on YouTube or elsewhere, and you'll see just what a moronic, cliche-driven piece of reverse-racist SHIT this thing is. Can you imagine if white people took the story of Malcolm X and put Rodgers & Hammerstein music to it, and had some gay white guy in blackface starring?

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