Groupon: $10 off awful DOOBIE BROTHERS and GREG ALLMAN show

You'd have to PAY ME to go see the fucking Doobie Brothers and Greg Allman.

Not only is their brand of music pretty low class, but their audience is, too. My idea of a good time isn't being surrounded by bellowing drunken rednecks and dimwits noisily sucking on "weed."

Here's an amazing fact: NOBODY is that crazy about this shit anymore, which is why Groupon (you secretly subscribe and get their offers by e-mail) is being used to "paper" the house at $10 off list price.

Really? They couldn't get enough idiots to pay a measly $28 to get baked on a Sunday afternoon and listen to garbage boogie and droning riffs into the night? It's down to $18??

To give you an idea of how pathetic this is, $18 barely gets you into the lousiest seat at Yankee Stadium for a game, 500 feet away from home plate. The Doobies and Alllman can't match THAT as an entertainment value?

At City Winery, a venue in the West Village, you have to pay $25 for the Bodeans! Or $22 to see the asshole "Buster Poindexter." The Doobies and Allman can't even get the price somebody would pay to sit comfortably close to the Bodeans or Poindexter??

Real rock venues and outdoor concerts charge $50 or more for mediocre seats you might get to see Madonna at Madison Square Garden for $50 but you'll be watching a big screen and she'll be a hazy blip in the distance. $115 to $400 is what she is charging. And yet the Doobies and Allman couldn't get $28 for good seats??

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I'm a bit surprised that the Doobies and Allman are such geezers that young people won't go, and that there aren't enough people their own age who still care. What, no nostalgia? Or is it that most people who like this shit don't live past 50?

The "support" acts that will go on periodically up until these jerks start wretching and puking, are a pathetic lot. They do cover a wide range of styles. The thinking, which has failed, is that MAYBE some dopey New York Yankees fans would want to see an ex-centerfielder play his jazz piano for an hour. But who knows when that'll be? Why suffer through a lot of bad acts for that?

As for Bruce Hornsby, his CDs are in every dollar bargain bin. He's background music. He's boring.

The event, as almost all events in mediocre towns or "the suburbs," is virtually unreachable by train or bus. Or it'll be a long, long ride, and probably expensive, too. You could easily waste $18 just on the Long Island Rail Road, one way!

This idea about entertainment...when getting there is half the misery and seeing the show is WORSE...is as disgusting as a deep fried Twinkie.