It's Not Unusual - It's QUEER

Why not change "The Voice" to "The Deep Throat?"

Or just plain "Cocksucker?"

The British version of this lame amateur hour has never been about having a good voice, it's about being a marketable bitch or queer, another Adele or Sam Smith. It's about sounding like a 3rd rate Shitney Houston or prancing about and chortling so long and loud some misguided lunatic will pick you to replace Freddie Mercury in what's left of Queen.

Remember, you can't be too black or too fat or too QUEER.

Tom Jones, of course, is none of the above. So he's OUT, my British blogger friend has reported.

I thought, OK, they don't want some guy who looks like a woolly old sheep. They're going with some 20-something idiot, or maybe a 30-something star who has slowed down in popularity.

No.

They replace Tom Jones with a simpering one-hit wonder has-been?

Oh, but of course, he's HERE and he's QUEER. He needs the money and exposure. He might even be as catty as Slimy Towel, and give the show a "must-see, ooh, dishing bitchy comments" vibe.

Tom Jones never needed a gimmick, but Boy George? He needs his silly hats and his make-up.

There's a strong gay clique in the the entertainment world, and they'll hire their own every chance they can.

You can just imagine how Jann Wenner has stocked Rolling Stone with sympathetic rent boys. Want to count the number of heterosexual males who might be on staff for Elton John?

Speaking of the Brown Dirt Chute Fuckboy, he continues his "look at me, the Fat Queen" regal tour of the world.

Man, that kid in the middle is practically the poster boy for paedophilia, isn't he?

Elton and David have DOLLED him up!

"Not that there's anything wrong with that." If two gays or lesbians want to raise a child to become part of the clique, that's just ducky. Who cares. The world is in decay anyway, so hedonism rules.

As for Tom Jones, he still can tour, fortunately. He'll have affluent 50 and 60 year-olds paying to see his show. Some cows will nostalgically throw their knickers on stage, even if a pair might accidentally hit the top of the proscenium and hang like a curtain blocking everyone's view.

Tom's audience is so old they don't mind a dull, plodding album loaded with miserable tracks about mortality. "Praise and Blame" has such grim numbers as "Lord Help," "Burning Hell," "Ain't No Grave," and the heavy drumbeat dirge "What Good Am I?" (a Bob Dylan cover). Yeah, like Bob lately, Tom can be dark and morbid and "blooozy" and get away with it. Dylan had a #1 album that was, IF I'M BEING HONEST, hardly worth a second listen, so for this piece of depressing shit to get to #2, well, #2 IS shit.

"Nobody's Fault but Mine" is more like an outtake from a Rick Rubin Johnny Cash session...another grim Bible deal, with maybe a little more stolen Delta guitar than Cash would've liked. For Tom fans wanting something uptempo there's "Didn't it Rain," which ala Dylan, is loaded with Biblical references and a ripoff of R&B gospel beats.

Tom's album is still 100 times better than anything from fat fag Boy George, who really didn't add anything to his cover of "Crying Game" except that everyone had to figure he knew just what it was like to discover a girl was really a boy. Only he wouldn't be crying about it.

All these "talent" reality shows are crawling along, obvious and tedious. They almost never yield any kind of "star." This year's winner of Britain's Got Talent, who actually deserved to win, was a dog act. Where the FUCK is this woman going to go with that? She can't sustain a show in Las Vegas (where she would be an unknown). She'll end up doing her act on cruise ships. She'll have an opening cover band with a drummer who can't keep time and smells of bird droppings.

Too bad for Tom Jones, but he does have plenty of other options. Boy George needs as much help from fellow cocksuckers as he can get. Nobody will EVER say, "Now that Boy George, he was a real singer." Just "He was a real freak, a real follower of fashion, and a really pathetic nasty queen that would start arguments on the way to the bidet."