"TOP 100 Songwriters" via Fag Wenner and his Reverse-Racist Snots

Yes, it's THAT time again, when ROLLING STONE tries to call attention themselves, by unleashing yet another opinionated list.

The idea is to get the usual assholes (Mashable, Huffington, Hoffman Forum etc.) ranting and raging.

It works every time, and to quote the #15 songwriters on the list, "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, I Can't Help Myself," I will weigh in, too.

As in: Christ, is ROLLING STONE obnoxious, annoying and so full of "politically correct" fakery.

Not to mention a true gutlessness in NOT sticking any bold and eccentric names on the list. Ian Dury? Of course...NOT.

At best, they included John Prine at #90. But they could've showed a little more imagination and made it Loudon Wainwright.

The Top 25? If you're looking for Elton John & Bernie Taupin, no. They were dumped at 48. How about brilliant songwriting teams Mann & Well (88) or Felice and Beaudleaux Bryant (89). If you were expecting Difford & Tilbrook to show up at all, forget it.

Funny, at the Hoffman forum, several people expressed surprised that the Bruce-licking jerks at Rolling Stone didn't rank him 1st. Or even in the top 5.

Less than funny is that Rolling Stone is so utterly reverse racist. Stevie Wonder might be a good performer, but as a songwriter, he's pretty much a load of shit. Remove "Living for the City" and what do you have? "My Cherie Amour?" Come on. Same goes for the hugely overrated Smokey Robinson. Both of them ranked above Holland-Dozier-Holland who wrote those great Four Tops and Supremes songs?

When it suits them, Rolling Stone will go WAY off topic. They are a rock magazine. They didn't put in Cole Porter or Irving Berlin. Yet they put in fucking Robert Johnson? Hank Williams? Woody Guthrie (at 28) Why? What's so ROCK about them?

It seems to me there are a lot of one-shot wonders masquerading as great songwriters on that list. Van Fucking Morrison? What did that squat, drunken misanthrope EVER write that was truly great? "Gloria?" As a vocalist, ok, he can yap and yammer just fine. But "Moondance" and "Brown Eyed Girl" were not good songs. They were well-sung pieces of Top 40 but not genius.

Same with Lou Reed. Take away his ONE hit, "Walk on the Wild Side," and you have a lot of garbage. His percentage is not good. I'll assume he wrote "Perfect Day." Fine. I'll take Ron Nagle's ONE solo album over everything Lou Reed ever did. If you want to be more charitable, fine, but that prick doesn't belong in the Top 25, or ahead of John Fogerty (40) among many others.

And speaking of Lou Reed, sure enough, David Bowie gets on the list at 39. Christ, that's way too high. He was a showman, not a songwriter. Can you name 3 songs that schmuck wrote that anybody has covered? His output is pretty trivial. I wasn't expecting truly eccentric songwriters to get in, like Tom Rapp of Pearls Before Swine, or Yoko Ono, but the list is SO overloaded with famous names who don't really belong. It's got WAY too many performers (Bjork!) at the expense of true songwriters who've written some great material for others to sing. There should've been more of those types...ones who are always neglected and get brief obits when they go.

You don't like pretentious English shit, so you leave off Ian Anderson? Or Peter Gabriel? Or Kate Bush? Or Brooker and Reid? Hmm.

OK.

But that doesn't justify being SO in love with ugly, stupid rap shit, and putting morons like Babyface (90), R. Kelly (80), Jay-Z (68), George Clinton (58) or Notorious BIG (52) on the list. That's typical reverse racist garbage. The idea is to pretend that blacks being stupid is SO COOL. They'd rather do that, than to acknowledge truly artist progrock songwriters!

Of course Chuck Berry gets into the Top 5. That's way too high. Technically he didn't really do that much except push further than Louis Jordan and other R&B hipsters. Little Richard was almost as good. And if you go by Beatles covers, so was Carl Perkins. PS, take that number down just because of "My Ding-a-Ling" and his lawsuit against John Lennon, and his pissing on women and sticking a secret camera in the toilet of his restaurant. And being a general bastard.

Rolling Stone also has to pretend they aren't all fossils, so they throw Taylor Swift in the Top 100, and the great, immortal, fantastic Kurt Cobain and the brilliant Eminem. JEEEZ.

Want to explain why Phil Ochs, Del Shannon and Roy Orbison are not on the list. Neil Diamond is. Chrissie Hynde is. John Prine is. Tom T. Hall is! George Harrison (65) was ranked BELOW Notorious BIG fer Chrissake.

It's nice that Randy Newman and Ray Davies (25 and 27) were not neglected, but mostly this was a list of predictable pandering.

Oh, and sorry, Ringo. This is ONE time you were totally left out. It don't come easy.