Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe Jokes - NOT FUNNY, I TELL YOU!

My blogger pal monitoring Scotland has passed along the hideous "Top 10" Edinburgh Fringe Jokes.

The jokes have indeed passed along. They are moribund. Dead. As in the "Parrot Joke" routine.

Being in a zombie mood, I thought I'd carve at these hacky jokes a bit. Not that it improves 'em any.

1. "Gretel squatted naked on top of the washer-dryer as it was moving. She had an orgasm Hans free!" - Darren Squelch

2. "Kim Kardashian had a dirty brown stain in the crack of her ass. Kanye West!" - Stewed Horsepis

3. "Every woman walks around with a cat carrier. Her pussy!" - Adam Hiss

4. "What's the difference between a "hippo" and a "Zippo." One is a fat thing with no sense of humor, and the other sort of sounds like the one Marx Brother with no sense of humor." - Masai NoSenseofHumor

5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island, it would be Dave Green. And leave him there." - Dave Green's mother.

6. "Jesus fed 5,000 people — free — which is enough to enrage Iain Duncan Smith into becoming Muslim and bringing half of Syria into the UK." - Mark Nelson.

7. "Red Sky at night, you're not gonna win. Blue sky at night? If you care, you're Jeff Lynne." - E.L.O. Parry

8. "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She said, "How did you escape your monkey cage?" -Alun Cocheyed

9. "When clowns divorce, it's even more unfunny than when they perform." -Slime N. Nunnery

10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. Like getting no laughs at the Edinburgh Fringe and being told I shouldln't even audition for 'Britain's Got Talent'" - David Walliums