Disgusting Billy Joel Spawns at 66

How many times does 66 go into 33? Thanks to Viagra, I guess you can actually do the math. The impossible is possible.

Here's the proof.

I like Billy Joel. He's a down-to-Earth guy. OK, some people think his songs are just a little to the left of Neil Diamond's brand of suckiness, but I think he fulfilled his ambition. Which was to be an American McCartney. He wrote some fine silly love songs, and some heavier things now and then, varying in authenticity. Neither he nor Macca really can rock out without looking a bit ridiculous.

But...IF I'M BEING HONEST, there's no way a 66 year-old, who looks like a plumber, snags a 33 year-old unless he's VERY RICH and/or VERY RICH AND FAMOUS.

Billy was never a very good looking guy, but landing Christie Brinkley wasn't that surprising. Christ, look at Heidi Klum marrying that hideous Seal. Opposites attract, pretty women can often fall for somebody who's tough and/or ugly.

But now he's 66, fat and bald. WHAT in the world is the attraction for any bimbo except money? Hey, for a divorce settlement in the millions, she'll take a chance. If she has some kind of father complex, so much the better. I have no idea what Viagra does or doesn't do, but I kind of doubt Billy is on top, you know? I think she's making most of the moves.

But let's not get too disgusting. The reason I'm DISGUSTED, is that this fucking guy (literally) is 66. Is that really the age to have a kid? The poor kid's got a grandfather. When she's old enough to toddle, he'll be winded within 5 minutes chasing after her.

Rich guys seem to think that having a kid when they are OLD is a great thing. They can brag that they've still "got it." Then they seriously tell you that the main thing is they have all the time in the world for the kid. Yeah, except they'll spend most of it napping, because kids can wear you out. Tell me, Geezers, when your mortality is OBVIOUS, you want to distract yourself with a yowling brat? Oh, yes, as long as your nanny does most of the dirty work?

On the plus side, Billy's brought a child into the world who will not be asking for welfare. All she'll be asking, in 5 years, is "why is my Dad looking more like every other kid's great grandfather?"

In 10 years she'll ask, "What do you think of my brand new stepfather?" And she'll be saying, "Don't talk to me about Billy Joel music. That stuff is so ICKY. I'm embarrassed. Why didn't Mom marry one of the One Direction guys instead??"