Mom, Can I Sell Nude Polaroids Of Myself On EBAY? Or YOU?

How amusing.

I'd like to hear an 18 year-old discuss THIS with Mommy:

"Look at the NUDE POLAROID auctions on EBAY!"

"The WHAT? Don't you do this!

"Mom, why not? If it's on EBAY, it must be OK."

"Oh Lord."

"I could became a famous model this way!"

"Oh Jesus, Moses and Mohamed."

"My boyfriend wants to be a professional photographer. This could help! If he can say he got paid $10 or $20 for his nudes of me, he could walk right into the Playboy office and get an assignment. He could take nudes of you, too. MILFs are popular. You have nice boobs."

"Lord, kill me NOW."

BANG.

Maybe I should say nice things about EBAY encouraging slutty behavior?

OK: it helps ugly girls with low self-esteem feel better about themselves.

Sure.

Here's a creepy, unattractive skank who is getting over $20 for her picture, because she's festooned herself with TATTOOS.

EBAY seems to think that a Polaroid snapshot is "art," and as long as the girl isn't spreading her legs, it's just "family entertainment."

How STUPID are eBay bidders? A Polaroid is not much bigger than the image in the ad.

They can't just haul it onto their desktop?

They have NO imagination? They have to own it? Like it's gonna increase in value?

There are literally hundreds of these on EBAY at any moment. An ordinary attractive girl is not gonna sell. There are plenty of "BUY IT NOW" photos that are NOT selling for $10.

BUT...if a girl thrusts her ass out and looks retarded, or poses like the coroner couldn't find a table and had to stand her up against a wall, there's a sale. It's a feeble sale to most people, but Christ, there are parasites and maggots on eBay who run auctions for 50 cents. In the adult part of the site they'll offer a zip file of 200 images they stole off porn websites and hope to get 99 cents for it.

How charming that in this era, where you can Google NAKED SLUT or any kind of words, and get MORE free naked pix than you could ever stare at, or go to TUMBLR and other sites, people actually PAY for naked Polaroids on EBAY.

Go on, girl. Some guy offers to split the profits, and you might sell five or ten photos before the customer moves on to somebody else? And nobody else cares because they saw you naked for FREE in the ad? It was STILL a great move. You made enough money for a few weeks of meth or crack. After that, it's on to full-time prostitution, some illegitimate brats, some STD's and who knows, maybe some colorful knife scars to go with the tattoos.

Ebay slogan: "Sell some Naked Polaroids on our site, and begin your journey to oblivion!"