Adult Underoos - What Will they Stink Of Next?

Some idiot named Rob is AWFULLY excited about Halloween every day, and the prospect of wearing superhero underpants. Here's the beginning of his long article on longjohns. Or shortjacks.

The article goes on and on and on about shorts and t-shirts.

Adult Underoos? This is a good thing? It's an expensive thing, that's for sure.

I'd say WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, if the first thing you did in the morning, is put on "Captain America" briefs and a t-shirt, and then a business suit.

A woman starts her day by getting into a "Wonder Woman" outfit? THAT is what's under her sweater and skirt? Or does she wear her underwear as outerwear, in the tradition of Viley Virus?

When idiots go to the gym and strip down, do they expect everyone in the locker room to applaud?

There's certainly nothing sexy about covering first or secondary sexual characteristics with character costumes. Is that the point?

Certainly one of the great traumas of childhood has been the very UNDERWEAR...keeping it clean and keeping it out of sight. The latter: "hey, boy, your fly is undone! I see your underwear! Ha ha!" Girls? "I see London, I see France..."

Supposedly the arrival of Underoos, a few decades ago, was supposed to make tots less self-conscious about the importance of genital coverage. Instead of an embarrassment, possible exposure would now be admirable: "Oh, wow, it's SPIDERMAN. Or WONDER WOMAN." Something like that. You're not an idiot for having your pants fall down, or your dress ride up. You're a SUPERHERO!

So adults are now supposed to wear Underoos?

It would seem that the pressures of today's miserable world have made SOME of us wish to regress full-time into inane fantasy. There's more stupid sci-fi and fantasy and cartoon movies than ever before. There's a BOOM in idiot events like "Comic Con," and a swing away from reading books to reading COMIC books and "graphic novels." People don't want to grow up. Now, "adults" want to pretend they are superheroes in disguise, and if they choose to, they can strip off their office wear, and proudly stand around in their uniforms....

...and have people laugh and say "I see London, I see France..."