NYC where Santa Clauses Get Drunk and Elmo Spews Antisemitism

Let's put on Santa Claus costumes and "pub crawl" all over town, pissing in the street and throwing up on the sidewalk. Ho ho hoaaaacch!

Where in the world would adorable Old Saint Nick be an excuse to be loud, rowdy and drunk? NEW YORK CITY. Hey, let's NOT destroy the city's image as evil, cynical and sick.

To top that, how about EVERY day let cuddly characters like Elmo of Seseme Street scream antisemitic slurs and push tourists around demanding money? That's the "new" Times Square.

WHAT the FUCK is wrong with people and their idea of AMUSEMENT?

The front page about "Santa Con" tells the sad story that this beer-sodden piss-soaked "tradition" is looking for a new neighborhood to soil. It seems there are SO MANY DRUNKEN SANTAS that the previous locations can't deal with them all. There's talk of moving the "event" from Manhattan to Bushwick, Brooklyn. But many neighborhood politicians are screaming "NOT IN MY DISTRICT." The heads of "Santa Con" insist they raise a lot of money and pay a lot of taxes (they charge "participating pubs" a fee). I have a feeling that this town's love of idiot events, and booze, will mean a happy day of throwing up and being stupid SOMEWHERE on December 13th.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, logic is still fighting against "don't spoil our fun."

Years ago, Mayor Rudy Giuliani transformed sleazy Times Square from a daunting few streets of massage parlors, dirty bookstores, peep shows and liquor stores into a "family friendly" tourist area loaded with McDonalds and Burger King and rip-off tourist traps like "Madame Tussaud's" and "Ripley's Believe it Or Not" and shit musicals including "Lion King."

Mostly closed off to traffic, Times Sqaure is now a "park," with fuckheads in costumes pandhandling tourists

Yeah, as pinhead tourists stare, agog at the tall buildings and gaudy theaters and huge stores full of crap to buy, ooh! There's Batman! Spiderman! Muppets!

NONE of them licensed or authorized. Toddlers and teen nitwits rush up to pose with these freaks, and are then hit up (sometimes literally) for money. If teen brats sneer and walk away, Spiderman might start shoving 'em. And if it's a cheap Jewish family, Elmo might shout something antisemitic. Which means Elmo is ALWAYS shouting something antisemitic. The guy in the Elmo costume is known for being INSANE.

These fucking costumed assholes are everywhere, drawing clotting crowds of morons. If you have to get to a nearby office building, need to shop, or actually get to a show on time, it's a fucking maze. Batman (or five of them!) is not helping.

Of COURSE these moronic parasites should be licensed. They should pay something to the city. Technically, they should also pay a fee to DC Comics, Seseme Street, and the others who own the trademark on the costumes. This isn't "free speech" and it isn't Halloween. It's a business. You're making money ONLY because you're wearing a trademarked costume.

And yet, typical bureaucracy and stupidity, there are "hearings" on this! These fuckheads in costumes are bitching over a very cheap $175 a year fee.

I guess the city is waiting until some Hamas or ISIS asshole, face and body hidden under a Cookie Monster outfit, tosses a bomb down a manhole or into a theater or onto the subway tracks. KABOOM. Cookie Monster then ditches the costume, has a burka on underneath, and disappears.

Looking on the bright side, tourists witnessing the carnage will have something REALLY entertaining to talk about to the folks back home.