Oh, I see a lot of arthritic hands trembling to get into the air.
I'm sure most people who saw her "trending" on Farcebook were thinking, "Who? Oh, she's somebody my grandparents liked, or something."
If grandma was in the room, she might call out, "You never heard of "Big Yellow Taxi?" No? OK, well how about "Clouds?" You know? Rows and bows of angel hair, an ice cream sandwich in the air. Yellow hair. And an eclair. I've looked at Clouds that way..." (Grandma IS senile).
Aside from very aging hippie chicks who still think "Blue" is the best record any woman ever made...Joni is NOT very well known.
"If I'm honest," NOBODY gives a rat's ass about Joni Mitchell anymore. The rat's ass just got fartier and fartier through the 80's and 90's and beyond. Unlike Bob Dylan or Neil Young, she failed to create music that her cult would buy. Unlike those guys (how often was Joni referred to as the female Bob or female Neil) she also failed to go beyond the cult in any way. One of Dylan's last albums actually hit #1 in the USA and UK, and everybody's heard of Neil's stupid "Free World" song and seen him stomping around on stage thanks to some high-profile event. But Joni?
Boney Joni has been reclusive if not downright insane for 30 years. Or more. All she's done is give an occasional bitter interview, complain her skin was turning orange, and to bitch about how her record label was responsible for her self-indulgent and mediocre albums failing to chart.
"If I'm honest," her last decent album was probably "Wild Things Run Fast," and after that, you could only hope that one or two tracks on her numbing sound-alike samba-cum-jazz Mingus whatever albums, had even one decent song or lyric. "Love Kills," however long ago it was, was the last time I even thought, "well, that's not bad."
Joni could've become relevant again with a bio-movie starring Taylor Swift.
Naturally, she's "shot it down." Typical narcissist elusive loon, she's huffing about the source material not being accurate, like people are supposed to mind-read because she won't talk:
She's such a well-known flake, it's possible the producers just gave up after saying, "What if we give you final script approval? What if you are allowed to fact-check every scene?" Nothing is ever good enough with women who think they're Marie Antoinette or the ghost of Maggie Thatcher, or whatever a Canadian nutjob fancies herself to be.
It's kind of weird that the author of some stupid book on chick-singers didn't NEED permission to write about Joni, Carole or Carly, but if you bring it to the screen, you do.
Quirky, huh? Maybe you can do a documentary, but you can't use actors and do a dramatization? You mean Yoko gave permission on some of the shitty dramas based on her life with John? That she and reps for the other Beatles gave an OK on some of the crap movies with idiots playing them? Or the stage show BEATLEMANIA??
Well, ok, apparently the great Joni didn't even want to have the option to OK a script. She's just dead set on being a self-destructive shit head, like so many entertainers are. I know, I've met many, and I've even said it on more than one occasion. "Aren't you being self-destructive? Tell me what you want your fans to hear, and I'll print it word for word. I'll even let you go over the final draft before it's in print." "No! No! I won't do it!"
What an idiot Joni Mitchell is. The hottest, most critically acclaimed chick singer in the WORLD wants to play her, and she shuts her eyes and shouts NO! Unbelievable. We're not talking Viley Virus. We're talking about Taylor Swift, who is as classy as it gets these days, who looks sort of like Joni, and...
Ah, I get it. Ms. Mitchell does not want to hear, "Taylor is better than the original. Her versions of Joni songs are superb...she looks hotter, too."
It's either that, or Joni knows that Taylor Swift was named after James Taylor.
Either way, she's still, despite being gentile and female, A SCHMUCK.
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