The Japs are Killing off The Bluefin Tuna

Let's not forget The Japs.

With all this talk about that fat butterball psycho in North Korea, and the insane Chinese living with masks over their faces due to air pollution, there's...The Japs. They love scat porn. They have had a nuclear meltdown. And along with the Chinese, they basically want to kill anything that swims. Either they want to eat it, or they just want to kill it and use it as an aphrodisiac to make MORE Asians.

As if we don't have enough. Let's not forget the other nutjobs in the Far East. How about Thailand where it's so crowded, the guys chop off their dicks and become "ladyboys." Seriously, we've seen pictures of Japs being packed like tinned sardines into trains, but at least they don't cut their dicks off because it's so crowded.

I'm kidding, of course. We love little Asians. They're very cute. Ask Eric Idle.

But come on, Japs, you've got to stop ripping fins off sharks and throwing the rest away. You and the Chinese have got to stop with the whale penis envy, and murdering every sea mammal. In case you didn't hear about it, we don't need whale oil for lamps anymore. And this fetish for recreational eating? Making adorable sushi rolls and sashimi things that look like little candies or toys? It's driving fish to extinction!

All around the world, fish are becoming more and more scarce. Concerned Americans (I think there are about a dozen of them) pushed for a ban on cod fishing till the cod can reproduce. The British, home of Fish and Chips, are coping by eating mostly chips. Chip sandwiches. Yes, buns stuffed with potatoes. That's a fucking fish shortage. And in Holland and Sweden, well, who the fuck cares what happens out there. Fuck 'em. Let them eat caked shit off the sidewalk.

Back to the premise. "Entertainment" in this world involves food. There's more recreational eating in "civilized" countries than is needed. Nothing better to do? Let's go out to eat. Let's snack. What's in the cupboard. Hey, watch TV and eat. Go to a movie and get one of those barrels of popcorn to lug back to the seat.

And now? The tuna, which most people don't even want to eat because a big fish has more mercury poisoning in it, is disappearing faster than Kim Jung-un's dick on a cold day.

Thanks, Slanties.