EBAY IS WHERE SMELLY BLOBS SOIL THEIR PANTIES FOR YOU

Oh, HERE is an appetizing sight. NOT.

Sometimes I'm tempted to contact Griff@ebay.com and ask him, "Doesn't it EMBARRASS YOU to be employed by such a skeevy, smelly, amoral, moronic bunch of SHITS?"

GRIFF is eBay's trained Santa. He's a bearded fat coot who runs their "radio" station and contests. This folksy fuck is kind of a mascot for an otherwise faceless bunch of goons.

Aside from the CEO and a few "execs" who need to put their grinning mugs in Fortune Magazine when they get hired to their six-figure do-nothing jobs, NOBODY on eBay will even reveal more than a first name. And that might be fake.

How pathetic is it, EBAY's secret "adult" (so much for adulthood) section? Here's where, in addition to the expected sales of DVDs, mags and sex toys, ridiculous housewives and slutty pieces of welfare trash try and earn extra beer money by selling their fouled underwear. They insist "it will be cleaned, it's NEW, these are just ones to show how they fit" while engaging in the most lurid of poses.

Once upon a time, when Meg Whitman was the CEO, EBAY had a simple rule: NO seller was allowed to pose in the underwear they were selling. You put the panties down and photograph them. Or, you use the photo in the Victoria's Secret or Hanes catalog of that's what you're selling. NO PHOTOS OF YOURSELF preening, bending over, or sticking your fingers in your twat.

Now they all pose like they're about to enjoy the family dog, and they write lurid copy about the "absorbent" crotch of their panties and the "fragrant female scent" reeking on them.

These days eBay's "adult" section is truly GROTESQUE. Obvious whores, brainless tramps, and gruesome cellulite-balloons all compete to get attention from whiffy-sniffy weirdos. It's pretty sad how laughable GUYS are. I mean, do women want to pay to smell a man's underwear?

The good news is that twats who think their underwear hamper is a gold mine, quickly learn otherwise. There's so much competition most crap doesn't sell.

Some bitches are happy to get $5 or $10 for a motley pair, which hardly gets them even when they go out to buy more. Or do they all go commando? This could lead to a lot of complaints to the sanitation department about polluted air.

Sometimes it seems like Dr. Moreau is alive and experimenting with turning chimps, warthogs and pigs into human hybrids. And to raise money, he orders them to soil their panties and sell 'em on EBAY.