May The FARCE be with you, fanboys and girls

Jesus, long after the fucking "Chiller" convention ended, idiots are still using FARCEBOOK to post their precious "I paid $20 to sit near a D-lister" snapshots.

Some simply recycle their pix. A star dies, or has a birthday, and they go get their fabulous foto and remind the world that they MET SOMEBODY FAMOUS. And paid to preserve the moment.

What better tribute than to remember somebody who charged you $20? Here's some twat who wants to tell the world how great an obscure horror actor (who wore a mask in some very bad splatter flick) was.

How easy is it for fans to get delusional! She goes to these stupid conventions, sees the same goon a few times, buys another photo, and she thinks he's her friend?

If you didn't know better, and know that this photo was taken at a memorabilia show, you might believe the same fuzzy story she does, about how she "met" the guy "many times," as if they were neighbors, or attended the same Donald Trump parties together.

Lady, all you did was relentlessly show up at stupid shows, see the same hapless nobody sitting at a table with nothing better to do, and greet him with effusive goofiness. And being a decent actor, and needing some money, he was pleasant about it. Which he was being paid to do.

How easy it is for celebs to get a reputation for being "SO NICE," just because they aren't grumpy about signing a photo for $20! Jeez, if this has-been WASN'T nice, nobody would bother. Part of the "deal" at these shows, is that the star doesn't sign, head down, and sour. The star is polite and grateful.

All these D-listers need to hear is: "Here I am again," and they'll say, "Oh sure, I remember you!" Always be sincere whether you mean it or not. That way, you get some extra publicity from the nitwit who shows the picture of the two of you to everyone she knows. And ALL her fabulous FARCEBOOK friends.

Here's the familiar "Crumb Face," with a sappy smile and a birthday wish for a has-been who made a shitty movie that most of us never have bothered seeing.

This is the kind of shit-eating grapefruit-brain who keeps track of all the birthdays of all the stars he posed with, just as an excuse to re-post his lame pictures. Growing fungus all over his face is probably a very good idea, but a better one would be to keep it in the fridge. It's beginning to spoil.

Crumb Face seems to think that paying $20 to stand next to "The Karate Kid" is a big deal. He can then give his stamp of approval to all his dimwitted New Jersey friends. Yep, what a NICE GUY. Look at me giving him a birthday wish!

A celebrity friend of mine once gave a wry grimace and he said, "We're in the PEOPLE PLEASING BUSINESS." Meaning that celebrities, like politicians, must always be smiling, always friendly, and try to be as tolerant as possible. It's just good business.

Burt Reynolds, when asked why he always signed autographs, said, "That's not just another seat in the theater. That person will tell her friends, and her friends will come, too." Yep, it's a popularity contest, and when you're a D-lister competing for $20 with Lee Majors and Ron Ely and everyone else, you damn well better smile, darn ya, smile.

Meanwhile, here's a guy who'd eat the crumbs out of Crumb Face's beard.

You've seen this incredibly homely slab of taco before. This load of lard finally got around to posting the photos of people he paid to stand near him. And guess what. I have NO FUCKING IDEA who this bitch is. Except she's somebody who needed $20 badly.