A BAR IN BERSERK

"Visit the town of Berserk," Spike Milligan used to advise. "There's always something going on in Berserk! Last week one of its citizens made headlines: BERSERK MAN SETS FIRE TO SLEEPING GRANDMOTHER."

One of England's strangest resort towns, it's ONLY open during the winter season.

Hotel reservations are on a first served, who the fuck knows where the room is going to be basis.

A town where the local post office has to be in the basement of a department store run by obnoxious poofs and a coarse twat, entertainment is largely confined to one bar.

It's a bar of soap. Fortunately not many of the locals use it, so if you ask politely, you'll get it. Just where, depends on how politely you ask.

The one pub offers local talent. It ALWAYS has a fine line-up that makes you want to drink up, and then throw up. A friend of mine took a photo of tonight's full schedule!