Go Fund Me, because I'm a fag, a Negress, a loser who can't make money, a user...

Indeed, indeed.

GOFUNDME is a lovely place for gullible people to get conned.

I guess I don't think like fools do. Like: "I'd rather not have a nice dinner out, or buy a better laptop...I'd rather give some fuckhead money instead."

What IS this shit? Is it a rebellion against parents who said, "No, we won't give you the money, you have to earn it yourself?" Like, "Ha, I'm an adult now, I don't have to do what Mom told me. I'll give money to somebody who simply asks for it!"

I sort of get why SOME idiots eagerly forage through GOFUNDME charity pages. They wanna play GOD and look for some ad (that may or may not be totally truthful) where someone needs help paying for an operation, or a vacation, or an expensive toy for a terminally ill person. Nevermind that these ads never tell you how much is REALLY needed and what percentage might be pocketed as "administrative expenses."

GOFUNDME seems mostly loaded with self-entitled self-involved "artists" who are actually untalented, uncommercial, vain and selfish. They network on FARCEBOOK and lead people to a GOFUNDME page.

Since GOFUNDME allows people to KEEP whatever they get, it's gotten to be more popular than Kickstarter, at least among parasites.

A big proportion of stupid ads involve awful singer/songwriters, but a LOT are put up by minority group members, especially GAYS and "PEOPLE OF COLOR."

They figure they deserve it. They're deprived. As if there isn't a disproportionate share of gays and "people of color" who are working in the arts ONLY because they exploit their "minority" status.

The worst part is these people usually go overboard in being TOO GAY and TOO ETHNIC. While these people have no problem enjoying mainstream heterosexuals (Madonna or Will Smith or Tom Hanks or Kanye and Kim) they think the world should finance their utterly niche and usually amateurish "art."

Good GOD, nobody wants to see your interpretive dancing. Nobody wants to pay for a canvas of your "folk art" badly painted garbage. Nobody wants to hear you bang on a drum and pretend it's "tribal" genius.

Look, not everybody can be Yoko Ono or Andy Warhol, and have the world play along. With them, they had some talent, and weren't just playing a race card or a gay card.

Here's a group playing the RACE CARD.

Isn't "NEGRESS" an offensive term? You bet it is.

You'd get your head handed to you if you called a black woman a "Negress." But leave it to some pretentious twats to decide to "reclaim" the name as a source of pride. Or something.

The important thing is that they want to make films, have art exhibitions, and be told how wonderful they are. So give 'em money to rent a space for a show, or to make a film nobody will see (unless it's posted on GOOTUBE and gets 48 hits).

Better yet, give 'em money so they can set up "grants" for their friends. The friends can stay rent-free on a farm for a month, painting amateurish shit. Or somebody can get paid for creating a film that they'll show for free at some school or other. "Let us show you our film, we are ETHNIC and YOU need to have your awareness raised about how truly pretentious film, art or singing can be."

One thing about outfits like this, is they are always exclusionary. They're raising money for their own narrow clique. They ONLY want to encourage people who look like and act like they do. If you're a Chinese heterosexual woman, then it's "Go find yo' own group and GO FUND YO'self. You can donate TO us, but that's ALL. They might even call you ORIENTAL when you'd prefer to be called ASIAN. But that's how Negresses are.

IF you donate enough, you might get a tote bag. It'll sho' be a conversation piece. And if you are not a Negress, somebody will be sure to come up and start a fight with you. Give it to a black woman and explain the 'concept' and she might still be offended and hand it back to you. PS, it's not exactly an attractive work of art, is it?

Part two.

GAY GAY GAY. Aren't we ALL tired of being told that being GAY is synonymous with being talented?

The problem is there are just too many of 'em.

This "minority" group is such a huge clique, not everyone can be hired to work in the production of a Broadway show or ballet. Not everyone can even be a mail boy or intern at some fashion mag, no matter how "hunky" or "cute."

Apparently there are so many muscular look-alike gays in porn that THIS guy hasn't been able to climb up the shit-stained ladder to becoming a $10,000 a day fashion photographer. Or even a $100 a day porn movie director. Never heard of him, but as that scarred up bint from New Jersey proved last year, if you make sex films on the Internet, you can get a fan club and have some Farcebook followers profess their undying love and support to you.

Huh? HE is going to show US the real deal via some photos he might put up in a gallery in some obscure part of town? He might put these photos into some print-on-demand book he'll charge $50 for? We should indulge him when there are literally thousands of photographers who, on spec, are showing us their view of the world on blogs and instagram pages??

Gee, how special he is, another Italian (or Puerto Rican, or whatever) with his shirt off. Is there NOT a health club that doesn't have 20 or 30 of these assholes (over-used assholes actually) parading about?

THIS one I guess is a porn actor who wants to become a PHOTOGRAPHER, (another Mapplethorpe??) but can't afford really expensive camera equipment. As if that makes the difference.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I know of someone who had an inexpensive camera when he started out and began making money as a photographer. With a skilled eye, even an old 1950's box camera with a fixed f-stop and shutter speed can take great pictures.

Perhaps one might point to a wedding photographer who simply saved up and bought decent equipment, and had enough pride and dignity to wait, earn money, and then upgrade to more expensive stuff?

Zzzzz. Jesus, HOW many of these fuckheads are there, who want a home recording studio, a state-of-the-art computer, etc. etc.

Note his Joni Mitchell attitude of "all I really want is...to bring out the best in ME."

Lucky for him he's already raised enough to buy some damn good equipment, even if, like a true brat, he only wants THE MOST EXPENSIVE THINGS. Like, fuck the free Toyota, I want a free Rolls Royce!

The greatest equipment doesn't automatically mean the greatest results. That's like saying that if she had a $5,000 microphone and digital recorder and software, Shauna Cuntwell would sound like Adele.

This CLOWN wants people to spend $8,000 so he can take photography classes???

He thinks people are so star-struck getting his autographed photo will clinch the deal!

The last laugh, thanks to GOFUNDME policy, is HIS. Maybe he won't get the $20,000 or $25,000 or whatever it is that he wants, but he'll keep what's been donated and nobody will be able to do much about what, if anything, he does with the money.

Anyone ever SUE some prick like this, and say "You didn't reach your goal, give me back my money," or "I want to know what you did with my money and it better have involved at least buying a second-hand camera..." Nah. Of course not.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, there's plenty of room for Affluent White Christian con artists, too. They are sociopaths. They'd rather pull a con than work. I know of one guy, upper middle class, white, Christian, who suckered a charity into paying six figures for him to make a film about their cause. He kept most of the money, knocked out a half-hour "documentary" using a cheap camcorder, and nobody as any the wiser. He sold them on the idea they could make DVDs of this thing and give them out as fundraisers. Well, nobody wants to watch a fucking documentary or commercial on any charity, from the ASPCA to the Red Cross. It's BORING. But flattery won. They even paid to have the DVDs made, and they sit in a few boxes in a closet gathering dust.

In the old days the biggest conjob was Blacks and Puerto Ricans and white trash making their kids write a "Letter to Santa Claus" c/o the Post Office or North Pole. Sappy middle class idiots would go down to the post office and pick out a letter (or two or three) to anonymously answer; mailing the gift or sending a postal money order. For the hucksters, this was like winning the lottery. Ha ha, somebody fell for it, look what I got FREEEEE.

Another con is the professional panhandler. An article the other day mentioned how pros are making $200 to $400 a day just sitting on their asses in or near Grand Central Station or Central Park or other high profile areas. One guy admits he takes in $200 a day at his choice location on a midtown sidewalk FOR A FEW HOURS, his doggy by his side. Panhandling is "legal" if it's not "aggressive." Even though he is obviously able-bodied, people toss money at him. Food, too. Panhandlers don't mind if a "savvy" person says "I'd give you money but you might spend it on drugs..." and instead offers a gift card to a take-out place with $10 or $20 credit on it. Some people routinely buy a few pricey take-out sandwiches to give to these pros. A "thank you," makes the giver seem like God.

Now? Oh, you can get taken without leaving home.

There's a sucker born every minute, and every minute one of 'em is buying into a GOFUNDME campaign.