Gwen Stefani: "Don't Fuck the Nanny 'Cause it Hurts"

Aw. So SAD, possums, so SAD. Gwen, who sang one decent song in her life, and a lot of thumping garbage, made the front page and was the FEATURE story.

It's not much of a story, the old familiar, "I fucked the nanny" bit. HOW many idiot couples hire a nanny who is more fuckworthy than motherly? Jesus, even the late Robin Williams fucked his nanny and broke up his marriage. Reality, what a concept.

"So please stop explaining. Don't tell me 'cause it hurts."

Think horse-face Gwen was singing that to her boy-toy hubby? Nevermind.

And the second lead story? A literal drama queen, a Brazilian fag threw himself overboard on a cruise ship. He was screaming that he was a married man (to another man) so that means he couldn't possibly be a pedophile (yes it could).

Once again, another story about stupid people who choose the stupidest form of entertainment possible: a cruise ship. These two should've cruised Brazil's gay bars instead.

When the story first broke, the media's fag-spin was, of course, to speculate that he was thrown into the water by gay bashers. Camcorder evidence proved that nobody touched this rare bird as he did his swan-dive in the sea. The media slanted it via opinions from other fags on the boat: "Oh, the poor thing was driven to it because he was allegedly called "Lipstick" by somebody on the staff. He was tired of the abuse!"

The real story is more like: two obnoxious, preening fags were overly loud and campy in having a good time. They became so annoying and were making so many demands that one of the bigger, tougher cruise employees gave a glowering insult or two. Like these two haven't heard 'em and could care less. Fact is, if you don't act like a fag you won't piss anyone off. Being gay isn't THAT big of a deal anymore.

The ironic thing about this brand of faggot is how totally INSENSITIVE he is to others. It's the "queen" mentality. Being gay means you're superior to everyone else, and you have to flaunt yourself and call attention when NOBODY CARES. You can bet these two were making a big deal over being "married," and strutting around goading people into staring at them.

The grand finale began when the staff got complaints of loud behavior in their fancy luxury cabin. In other words, normal people were being subjected to hysterical laughter or even more hysterical bitching and fighting. Or just too much Village People music at high decibels.

Two stoic, tough guards come in to tell the fag that nobody cares that he's "here and queer," and what's he do? Whips out a camcorder to start recording them. Fine. It shows that they did nothing, and HE was out of control. And drunk. He was such a drunken drama queen he then began to huff and puff about how he's a married man, and not into boys and...poof overboard.

Nothing about this guy says "sane." Nothing about this guy says "he will be missed." Except maybe by his look-alike shower buddy, who will simply mince to the nearest decadent Brazilian gay bar and choose somebody else who looks just like him.

There IS some talk that the cruise ship's house band was simply so awful a lot of people were getting suicidal. Something about A.D. Savage on drums.