Gee, Whatever Became of J. John & the Rucksack?

Oh well, if it's in WIKIPEDIA, it's, what, accurate?

The news about "Jihadi John" (as opposed to "Religious Fanatic Ringo") is that he was evaporated two days ago.

Like a can of milk?

A "drone strike" somehow zapped him and a few of his armpit-faced holier-than-thou cowards.

How this Osama-type goon was tracked, nobody's saying, but odds are, Daniel Craig surely had something to do with it. He or Adele. Or John got a little too careless in his Farcebook postings. You know: "Hey fans, I'll be at the Starbucks at Dir-t Unda-wari, let's all meet at noon and drive the barrista nuts trying to spell our names on the coffee cups."

I'm no "conspiracy theorist," but being blown up or "evaporated" IS a bit of an anti-climax. Bin-Laden, after all, was shot right between the eyes, and there are pictures. ANYBODY can be evaporated in some obscure country and identified as anyone.

WIKI considers him dead? Then we all must agree 99%.

How DID this guy get to be called 'Jihadi John?' Almost nobody under 30 know who The Beatles are. You'd think somebody would've said, "Oh, he's hiding his face but he has a British accent. Let's all him Jihadi Sam Smith."

A terrorist with a British accent? How about: "He's Jihadi Duncan Smith."

Once "John" was actually identified and his real name was out there, he ran away. Why didn't he grab a machine gun and go out in "a blaze of glory" and prove his worth to Mighty Allah? Why, instead, was he a filthy cowering coward hiding away in a small town in Goat Shitland, and hoping his no-shower buddies would protect him? That doesn't say much for his BELIEF IN ALLAH does it? Or the afterlife??

It seems he wanted to hang around HERE instead.

Fortunately for him, the suicide-bomber-retards never ask themselves, "How come I'M being asked to blow myself up and NOT the guy who is TELLING ME TO?"

Here's a guy who is real brave when somebody else captures an unarmed man. Then he shows up in his Halloween sheet and mask, and brandishes the knife on a shackled prisoner. Identify him by name, and he runs like a 6-year-old girl in a tutu.

WE had to blow him up? Why didn't he blow himself up for his cause? Didn't he believe he'd get virgins and goats in heaven if he did?

Let's say he's dead. I'm 99% glad Wiki is going along with whatever Daniel Craig and Adele told them. Or was it Hasselhoff and Vin Diesel? If 99 out of 100 people believe something, it's so.

Another "mystery man" terrorist whose fate is uncertain, is Terry Beard the Rucksack.

He was committing crimes all over the Net that could've and should've had him fined or jailed. But he started whining he was armless and/or legless, that his wife was dying, and blah blah blah. Then a fat Dutch cheese wheel sobbed that he was dead. Except he soon turned up in a hidden forum showing pix of his octaroon grandkid!

Where's he know? Some wonder if he's the redneck who was stealing porn downloads and selling 'em on eBAY. Caught over and over, he's stopped selling stolen porn and is now offering something he probably stole out of a Target or Wal-mart. Somehow he's got a laptop that he bought (he says) but can't use. So off it goes.

"Just purchased, cannot keep." Sure. Why return it to the store...when they might demand the receipt before giving you a refund?

The coward's got it up as a "reserve" auction with asecret MINIMUM. You have to keep bidding and bidding till it's reached or else he won't sell. The current high bidder, if nobody else tops him, will get a notice: "Sorry, you didn't reach the seller's magic minimum, so you wasted your time..."

Well, without getting too existential, what ISN'T a waste of time?