"A cheap Dutch douche named Hans didn't contribute to my Kickstarter campaign, but he suggested a great idea for an album. He told me I'd be sure to make money if I got creepy pervs involved.
"He means the kind of ugly fat old men that crave young girls! You know, like Darren Lox and Bill Hoobastank. And Hans. Although I think he likes the boys more.
"Anyhoo, Hans told me that considering how I'm built, and that nobody cares about my Taylor Swift covers, I should sing oldies and get old lechers involved.
"The cover for my new album is the best thing Hans has seen since the banned one for 'Blind Faith'!" How flattering! And I'm flatter than that cover girl!"
SONGS INCLUDE:
SURF HANS U.S.A.
HANS HANS HANS
HELP ME HANSY
LITTLE DOUCHE TWAT
BE TRUE TO YOUR TWAT
CALIFORNIA TWATS
TWATTIN' SAFARI
I TWAT AROUND
TWAT VIBRATIONS
TWAT ONLY KNOWS
IN MY TWAT
TWAT SOUNDS
KOKOMORON
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