The "REAL" News of the DAY

I guess we've all read about massacres before.

There's nothing new about hypocrite Muslim assholes finding excuses to be cowardly and shoot up innocent people who don't believe in ISLAM.

Besides, it took place in Paris and everyone hates the French.

So, after the obligatory headline about what happened Friday night, there was still plenty of space for the "REAL" news. Two idiot items of celebrity shit could easily have been the MAIN news of the day. The top story could've been the continuing vegetable status of Lamar O'Dumb, and the perpetual sluttery of Viley Virus.

Yes, America is STILL worrying about a glandular Negro has-been who was getting divorced from a Kardashian. What, he didn't like being known as Mr. Kardashian? He consoled himself by PAYING FOR WHORES and doing drugs till his coconut-shell-covered brain exploded.

Now there's some question if he can ever be coherent again. Like he ever was. NEXT?

Oh, the great Viley Virus is at it again. Haven't we ALL seen her cupcake tits and her stupid tongue? Why is the news like "Groundhog Day," where we've seen it all before? This is worse Deja Vu than a boring forum site with that name, which recycles music we've all heard before.

Sad, isn't it, that we don't have enough celebrities in rotation, that we have to CONSTANTLY get the same three or four tramps, sluts and morons?

NEXT...

Oh, two items related to the upper front page Paris attacks story. But these are two STUPID items of dubious comfort.

Hasn't it become a moronic cliche to sing "Imagine" when anything bad happens? What a gesture of futility. Aside from chiding the ISIS morons with that "imagine...no religion" line, it just reminds people that the author was shot.

Eric Idle might look on the bright side, and point out that since 1980 we have NOT had another Beatle killed (just seriously wounded) and virtually no rock star (or U.S. President, or Prime Minister, or head of any country that white people might care about) has been assassinated. Isn't that showing that SOMEBODY is paying attention to the "Imagine" lyrics? Tra la la!

No, I find it rather creepy that some vainglorious German hauled a piano into the street to get attention for himself. This is supposed to be a statement? Yeah, very brave, with police all over that street. No, I kinda prefer the eBay sellers who are now hawking Eiffel Tower replicas on candles...see, if you put a circle around the Eiffel Tower it looks like a Peace Symbol! Whee, what an outlet for everyone's grief, buying some fucking candles and putting them out near a charred doorway.

And lastly, we have the news that tough guy Bono isn't going anywhere near Paris.

This is supposed to be, what, a show of solemnity? How about looking at it from another point of view? If Bono DID perform, it would be an act of defiance. Life goes on, right, Bonnie?

He has to know that most people would come out to his show, and that the odds of MORE of these ISIS assholes hanging around to off him is very, very slight.

Or is he so egotistic to think that the ISIS bunch would be sure to aim for the stage, and not the audience like they did the other evening? Meanwhile, the world now knows of a shitty band that happened to be performing Friday night. They will become as famous as Laura Keane, the only 19th century actress anyone in America might know of, because she was on stage at the moment Lincoln was shot.

Do you get the idea Bon Jovi might've defiantly performed, even if Bono wouldn't? Mayor Giuliani said after 9/11 he expected everyone to go about "business as usual." I don't know if the mayor of Paris has made such a statement. Unless EVERY theater in Paris is closed Saturday night, Bono should've kept the date.