The COVER of Rolling GROAN and.....No Immigration, Too! (John Lennon. IMAGINE)

 Fag Wenner doesn't really CARE about sales of his mag does he? 

I showed the new issue to the mechanical parrot, and asked, "What the fuck?"

And the parrot replied, "What the fuck! That Nigga isn't even a rap jerk!" 

No, he sure ain't. NOT a music star.

He's a fucking BASKETBALL player. Never heard of him, either. I think, if you are NOT running a SPORTS magazine, and are not a Fag Wenner obsessed with black cock, you do NOT put somebody like Kevin Douchebag on the cover. 

It's common sense. Not everybody is into sports. OR, into ALL sports. I just don't give much of a damn about BASTARDBALL. I don't care about these black bastards running back and forth in their underwear, showing off like trained chimps. They're all seven foot tall, and they make a big deal about storming down the court and SLAMMING the ball into the hoop. Big deal. This impresses shrimpy white idiots like Woody Allen, and shrimpy black idiots like Pinheaded Spike Lee, and old farts like Jack Nicholson. Not ME. 

It's mildly interesting to see somebody land a 3-pointer from near half-court, or hit a shot under pressure, but...the two teams that seem to be playing when I tune in the game are FUCK and OFF.

Most people can name the most FAMOUS athletes in a sport they don't care about. They know Serena Williams is a tennis star. They know Eli Manning is a quarterback. But unless you're a real FAN, you don't know every fucking player, every quarterback, every star pitcher, etc. SO WHY PUT SOMEBODY ON THE COVER OF A FUCKING MUSIC MAGAZINE, even one that is trying desperately to be a "pop culture" magazine? SPORTS ARE IRRELEVANT. Mostly. 

This guy "had to blow up his life to get his shot." Great. Inspiring, I'm sure. I could care less. He probably makes 10 million a year. And he's a 7 foot freak. I don't care. Fag Wenner's other cover stories? "Donald Trump, the Fury and Failure." I'm paying to read THAT shit? We're all sick of Trump. What else? "Phish's Fragile Peace." They're still together? I never cared about their meandering garbage, and I wouldn't care if they broke up. "Glenn Beck's Regrets." This is a conservative media asshole. He's made his living catering to retarded rednecks. Unless he writes a suicide note and blows his head off, I don't want to hear about his regrets.

That leaves the lone headline: "Desert Trip: The Biggest Classic Rock Concert Ever." So? It's been and gone. We all know what happened. The predictable. Neil Young and Bob Dylan gave good shows IF you like their rotten voices. McCartney sounded like crap. The others were ok. You could see all the bootlegs on GooTube if you cared. I watched a few minutes. Zzzzz. 

I'd cancel my subscription except it was a gift. And I am glad that person hasn't done it again. Jeez. It's more amusing talking to a mechanical parrot. (Bought cheap on eBay many years ago).

Fag Wenner doesn't give a damn about his magazine if these are the big cover stories. The only thing that he likes about Rolling Stone is that if a Nigga has finished pumping him three or four times and has run out of jizz, he can roll up a copy and shove it in. Fag Wenner's anus is the Rock and Roll Hole of Fame. 

As we continue to fight the system, and the obnoxious assholes in power, we recall all those who came before us, fighting the good fight.

I happened to catch somebody's GooTube theft of John's "final live appearance" and was momentarily surprised by an update in his lyric on "Imagine." He sang: NO IMMIGRATION, TOO.

What? He was predicting the avalanche of immigrant ingrates? The savage and surly lot who play the race card to seduce and then rape idiotic white Pollyannas?

McCartney ended up winning his case, but Lennon was forced to settle, making ATV the co-publisher of all new Lennon songs in 1974. And so, by the spring of the next year, Lennon was on stage, paying tribute to Grade. Well, sort of. Lennon clearly still bore no small amount of ambivalence.
Introduced as “John Lennon Etc.,” his band performed with specially created masks from sculptor Ruby Jackson, worn on the backs of their heads. Lennon, who played acoustic while wearing a New York Dolls-style red jumpsuit, reportedly envisioned the masks as a direct reference Grade’s two-faced business dealings. “It was a sardonic reference,” he’s quoted as saying, “to my feelings on Lew Grade’s personality.” (The Rutles, a Beatles TV spoof, went even further by featuring a Sir Lew-type character called “Lord Greed.”)
Careful television viewers probably noticed the initials “BOMF” on the bass drum, a clue to the Lennon backing group’s real identity: They were actually called Brothers of Mother F—ers, a distinctly un-family friendly moniker that necessitated the more generic “Etc.” Mark Rivera (later of Billy Joel and Lennon’s old friend Ringo Starr‘s band) and a very young Vinny Appice (who would play with Black Sabbath) were part of the eight-member BOFM – which had earlier provided hand claps for Lennon’s No. 1 hit “Whatever Gets You Through the Night.” Lennon subsequently convinced the band to change its name yet again, this time to Dog Soldier – after a Lennon-composed lyric for the unrecorded 1975 song “Incantation.”
“It was an amazing time,” Appice later remembered. “I was going to high school. I was doing that at night. I would hang out with him, and then the next day, I’d be in school, not paying attention.” Rivera, by the way, says BOFM’s masks had a completely different meaning: “Yoko Ono had us put on skull caps and have a replica of our face,” he once said, “to show the duality of American society.”
Lennon performed a pair of songs from his then-new album of cover tunes, Rock ‘n’ Roll, which had just been released the month before – including Little Richard’s “Slippin’ and Slidin’,” and Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,” the project’s lead single. He closed with a new take on the timeless “Imagine,” updating it to reflect his recent troubles with the U.S. “Imagine there’s … nothing to kill or die for,” Lennon sang, “and no immigration too.” He dedicated the song to Grade “and to my other friend, Yoko.”
The bill also included Julie Andrews, Tom Jones and early Lennon hero Peter Sellers, performing before a group of Hollywood elite that included Lauren Bacall, Kirk Douglas, Gene Kelly and Orson Welles, among others. Strangely, the original broadcast — which followed in June 1975 — left “Stand By Me” on the cutting room floor, even though it reached the Top 20. That would mark Lennon’s last hit, however, before a nearly five-year retirement to raise his son Sean. Lennon returned in 1980 with Double Fantasy, but he was gunned down by a deranged fan before he could take the stage again.
Still, for all of its historical significance, the Sir Lew show has become largely forgotten. Most fans will tell you that John Lennon’s Madison Square Garden collaboration with Elton John on Nov. 28, 1974, marked his last live performance. Instead, it was this three-song set.
Grade died at age 91 on Dec. 13, 1998, after a heart operation. By then ATV had sold rights to the Beatles songs to Michael Jackson.


Read More: The Day John Lennon Made His Last Live Appearance | http://ultimateclassicrock.com/john-lennon-last-live-performance/?trackback=tsmclip

As it turns out, Lennon was called upon to salute Low Grade, a guy he had feuded with more than once. 

But, letting bygones be bygones, he performed for the jewelry-rattling pricks in the audience, and mostly was in a good mood because he was no longer threatened with deportation. 

So, "no immigration too" meant that he was imagining a day when there would be no immigration hassles? Like he might imagine a day when the British government would stop hassling its legal, born-in-the-UK citizens by denying them benefits? Like he might imagine a day when the American government would enforce Federal laws, and break-up cartels like eBay and Amazon, and make sure women can't be porn-abused on the Internet with faked up or stolen photos that have no signed model release of age and consent? 

Nevermind. He was glad that he, an immigrant, was now allowed to stay in the country. Quaint, huh? Some immigrant. He had millions. He could speak English. He was not a fucking burden to anyone.

Imagine...gun control. Oh, not THAT in bureaucratic America. Let the immigrants have all the semi-automatic weapons they want, along with that religious fanatic who is a born-again Jesus freak in prison, and wants to get out and fornicate with his wife. Fuck off, Mark.

Imagine...Angelfire just down for routine maintenance. Ha ha. 

"You Can NOT Be Siri-us!"

Idiots are easily amused, aren't they? Maybe not for a LONG time, but long enough to buy some stupid thing, think it's great for a day or two, and THEN realize, "How STUPID." 

The impulse purchase. We're human. We see some stupid thing at a flea market, or on QVC, and we are betrayed by our gullibility. 

WOW...ECHO! Imagine, saying something to an inanimate object...and it repeats it, instead of just staring back, or saying 'Fuck Off." How about Pete the Repeat Parrot? 

This thing is very fascinating. For an hour. You wonder, what the fuck is going on. It's got some kind of little microphone inside, a chip of some kind, and you press a button, say something at it, and it REPEATS IT? Wow. 

A little more involved, and expensive, is a version that's more like a Furby. Instead of repeating what you say, it is programmed to start ADDING things. The more you play with it, the more words it says. The more you touch the mechanical areas that have the sensors, the more it will blink, and make noises, and act like a real parrot. Gosh. 

You'll note that THIS item is pretty fucking expensive. I think that's because people got VERY tired of it, and they stopped making it, so it's rare. 

Both of these simple parrot toys pale beyond the deviousness of APPLE and AMAZON, who are getting people involved with SIRI and ECHO. 

Oh, FREAKIN' AWESOME! You can SAY shit into your computer, or into something that looks like an air cleaning machine, and it will REPEAT shit, or serve up some answers from its vast warehouse of chips and fish. 

WHAT happened to just talking to PEOPLE? To HUMANS? 

Humans are a lot more reliable. They won't break down. And unlike certain websites like Angelfire, they won't disappear for no apparant reason! 

Chill Out - Go Away Horrible Homely "Hottie"

Jesus, they're really "keepin' it classy" in New Jersey, huh? The CHILLER show is even willing to let porn morons set up tables. I mean real PORN MORONS. You recall THIS big-nosed monster: 

I guess the idea, in SOME awful cases, is that if you have no idea who this person is, or WHAT this person has done to be "famous," you'll want to find out. 

Looking at the "luminaries" on the CHILLER website, you'll see a gruesome image like this, and think, "Mmm, maybe I should get my picture taken with her? With it? Let me GOOGLE her." 

And you discover she's one of those sad Internet whores who fucks just about anyone and anything for a 10 minute download. It goes back to the awful days of Times Square when women made 8mm "loops" which you could see in peep show booths or buy for $10. 

Now? Now women are supposed to make a living as porn actresses and/or whores. Guys might PAY to be in a movie with a monster like this OR just pay to SEE something like this. Pretty damn amazing in the age of FREE, isn't it? With all the FREE porn around, who wants to PAY for a giant-nosed classless cunt like this? 

71 of these? Really? With blonde hair or black hair, sucking black cock or white cock or even cunt? Oh, what a thrill. And to be able to waddle over to her table and say, "You are SO beautiful" and "I've always wanted to meet you" and shyly hand over a TWENTY so she can say "What's yer name?" and scrawl it on a lurid photo? A dream come true. 

It used to be that these shows only had harmless has-beens. You could say hello to the kid who played Pugsley on "The Addams Family" or Eddie on "The Munsters." You might even meet a normal actor like Martin Landau or Gary Lockwood. Now? 

God BLESS.  Kewl. FREAKIN' AWESOME. 

Going Fishing on Farcebook - It's Freakin' Awesome

What do you do if you're best known for porn?

Not just for porn, but for fucking up the industry by appearing in porn BEFORE your 18th birthday? Thus, people had to recall your fucking VHS tapes, and the business got a black eye for being a bunch of pedo bastards "entrapping" a poor innocent slut. 

With that kind of notoriety, for the next 20 years you could...appear in one or two shitty sci-fi movies, and yes, be FREAKIN' AWESOME by sashaying around smelly memorabilia show hallways. 

Then you can go on Farcebook and show off, and have your fanboy losers cry out compliments, hoping you might LIKE something they wrote, actually LIKE it. Wow! Woo hoo! 



Cheers! You look smoking hot! Woah! Classy!

Classy? Looks like a man-hating whore. That photo says, "YOU are PAYING ME." 

But that's the way it is with New Jersey losers. They are happy to pay for it. It makes their day. If not their month. If not SIX months (till the NEXT Chiller convention). Freakin' AWESOME. 

LORDS have mercy, "WE ARE NOT WORTHY..."  

AWESOME Chiller - Without Bill Hoobastank??

The whereabouts of fat, gay, giddy Bill Hoobastank remain unknown. Is it POSSIBLE like Terry Beard, he is faking his death? Or he's dead? 

The pathetic librarian-turned-manager still hasn't posted photos of himself standing next to D-list nobodies at New Jersey's Big Convention of Losers. He may be declared legally dead. 

In the last known picture of him, Bill was looking grim, not his usual grimacingly grinning self. He had fallen ill, and had fallen down while on one of his customary graveyard sight-seeing trips. He threw up almost all of his Kentucky Fried Chicken lunch, which a cannibal-like pigeon began to eat it up on the spot. 

When last seen, he and the pigeon were fighting over it. 

Bill's lone client, Shauna Cuntwell, admits, "He really didn't do much for me, except gurgle and shit his nappies. He wouldn't return phone calls when he was screening "2001" every evening, or eating "authentic astronaut food," or fondling his 8x10 photos taken with Billy Mumy. Oh well, as they say, "Let Go and Let God." He may be in a better place. Anything outside New Jersey is a better place."

Indeed. Meanwhile, INSIDE New Jersey, the pathetic CHILLER show attracted a few last-minute non-entities. These "stars" you never heard of, were hoping to impress the absolute dregs of the world, and get $20 for autographed photos. What kind of retarded plumber, or autistic basement dweller would PAY for anything from THESE idiots? 

No normal person has heard of these three idiots. Gee, "BRIAN KNOBS" could ONLY show up Friday and Saturday. He had to be back at the mental home on Sunday? 

Other FREAKING AWESOME non-entities took to TWATTER, trying to get people to show up and BUY AN AUTOGRAPH:

Pity her, as her head is as waxy as a candle, and it warps easily. 

She's got big tits. And a bigger nose. Might be a transsexual. Jay became Sara Jay? Who knows. And did anyone care? How lonely and pathetic does a guy have to be, to be willing to swap $20 for the chance to stand at a table opposite THIS monster, and get a minute to talk to her? 

One of the more subtle TWATS to go on TWATTER was Natasha, who, after all, MAY be known to SOME people who once in a while enjoy a bad sci-fi movie. She simply posed with one of the morons-in-costume

Meanwhile, though BILL hasn't done it yet, some easily amused dimwits have gone online to showoff their fabulous SELFIE SOUVENIRS of people YOU have not heard of. Here are two retards who are impressed because somebody you never heard of is taller than they are. 

Did they EACH pay $20 for separate photos, or did they pool Mommy's lunch money, and plan to BUY one, and then SCAN a dupe copy??

Is it a surprise that both these douche-faced fools are wearing SOUVENIR shirts with somebody else's creativity on them? 

Below, who knows WHAT. Is this weirdo a would-be D-list "star?" Is he a comic book artist? Does he have his own table selling bootleg knock-offs of Batman memorabilia or something? 

He's really proud of himself, posing with two insane bimbo morons who are desperate to take $20 each off him.   

Love the guy's name? He's a legend in his own mind.  But this is what guys at CHILLER are all about: being able to brag about PAYING FOR IT. "Look at THIS photo of ME with..." somebody nobody cares about, and who STILL demands and gets money from a LOSER. 

Here's a proud retard standing next to a D-list retard. AWESOME. Just AWESOME. Jealous, ain't ya? Wish ya wuz there? 

That was the "REAL" Krummy Mush, or whoever. Accept no imitations. It takes so little to make a moron smile, right? This guy had the time of his life, meeting a jerk in a t-shirt with tattoos and a misshapen diagonal head. 

Literally a hundred sub-standard has-beens and unknowns had tables at the event, getting the chance to impress absolute losers. Here's a bunch of jerks who maybe made back the fee CHLLER charged for the tables. At least it gave them something to do for a weekend in New Jersey. (Yes, Sharp Eye, ONE of the tired-looking clods IS the drummer in Something Fudge. Brooker Fudge? Whitehorn Fudge? Huelbig Fudge?) 

Not EVERYBODY had a good time. A few women indulged their sci-fi fan boyfriends or husbands and went to the show. They HAD to go, needing to keep an eye on wayward guys who might do something insane like pay $100 to sniff Traci Lords while getting a little too close during a photo op. 

An Asian mail-order bride went to the show, because her idiot husband is into anime cartoons and collecting Godzilla action figures. While he was off trying to find 8x10's of Gamera the flame-throwing flying turtle, she had to fend off losers.  There was one in particular. 

Cuntwell: "I Can't Get In Touch With My Manager!"

Poor Shauna!

She's just posted THIS on Instacunt: 



Reached for comment, Shauna elaborated: 

"I haven't heard from Bill Hoobastank! Is it possible he's dead, like Zacherley? Did he finally grow out of his second childhood and realize he was being a big silly old virgin, waddling after D-list celebrities and puffing around graveyards? Has he gone into therapy? 

"I've posted two dozen Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift cover versions without any input from him, and that's like, four or five days. That's a long time for Bill to not grimace and grin and do something stupid. I know he's incontinent and has a lot of nappy-changing, and he watches "2001" at least twice a day, but WHAT is wrong?" 

Shauna's notion on what happened to her manager is probably wrong. A loser like Bill could NEVER stop throwing his money away on photo ops with has-beens, and he'd rather spend money on "astronaut food" than therapy. This guy eats a pillowcase full of marshmallows for a snack. With his sugar-craving (which has made his poop almost always light-brown diarrhea) he's grinding his teeth ever smaller and tinier, like niblets of corn.  

It's possible he's in a coma, and that the excitement of yet ANOTHER "Chiller" show (oooh, Barbara Eden, the waxy-faced mannequin herself) was too much. There's a clue on the "Chiller" web page: 



It's possible he went from pissing himself to going prostrate, with a THUMP that could be heard from Weehawken to Woonsocket, Rhode Island. 

IF I'M BEING HONEST, if he was too sick to go to the "Chiller" show, we will suspend all further mention of him here, and hope he enjoys hospice care for however long he has left. If he's simply decided to stop making a jackass out of himself by posing his corpulent and creepy body next to people who were once somebody and now barely at HIS level of useless stupidity, we will likewise take pity, and recommend a new manager for poor Shauna. 

Shauna has noted that Bill usually rushes to Farcebook within a few hours of getting home on Friday night, to post his prizes. He's there the FIRST evening of the three-day show. He's so proud of the 10 or 20 look-alike photos of his gruesomely contorted face in enthusiastic ecstasy, lolling his body up against D-listers he worships. He sort of looks like the Hindenberg tethered to the mooring mast in Lakehurst, New Jersey. And you know how THAT went! 

Says Shauna, "The important thing is ME! I am already late in being discovered. I expect MUCH more nice comments, a big record deal, and Roger Waters digitizing and re-mixing all my covers for a 10 disc boxed set. I'd like Kanye West to start a feud with me and send out Instagrams of my shaved twat to the world. Have I mentioned that I recently got a marriage proposal from Darren Daft? Is that a good thing?" 

Queer Mary!

Bidda-bump-bump-BA!

Bidda-bump-bump-BA!

Bidda-bop-bop-boom-boom!

Big dicks I keep seeing

I love it when they're peeing!

Peeing!

Peeing!

Peeing like a river! 

Bidda-digga-bah,  bidda-digga-bump-bump-bah!

Cretin! Yeah! 

Old Slob vs Anus Lips

Bored people are thrilled by the first shot fired by David Crosby. You remember him. The guy who made a lot of extremely boring solo albums. Sort of Art Garfunkel on very watered down acid. 

Having alienated his moody pal Neil Young, and no longer artificially inseminating dykes, and having no other way to call attention to himself, Davey-Boy is now a "senile-terrible" (variation on enfant terrible). 

Oh, what a provocateur. Sort of Piers Morgan in a soup-straining mustache and cotton-floss wig. 

It beats hearing about Hillary and Donald, huh? And aren't we waiting for Kanye to fire back? Oooh! Kanye can say "I am more famous than David Crosby!" And "I got me a fat-assed dumb white bitch breedin' babies for me." 

But can he say he really can sing like Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles? Or that he's written anything that won't be anything but trivia quiz fodder, like the collected works of M.C. Hammer? 

Go Back to the Tux

Baez Wouldn't Do It

Car Crash After Tattooed Tipsy Topless Twat Shows Her Tit

It could've happened in Florida just as easily as Texas. A redneck wino bimbo was wobbling all over the road, playing with her cellphone and her tits. 

Between swigs of wine, she decided to take a selfie of her boobs, and while motorists veered to avoid being killed by the cunt, she ended up bouncing into a police vehicle. 

Just another typical night of White Trash antics. 

She's 19? Look at the bags under her eyes. She could be 30. 

She's already got a tattoo (it's of a big black huge arrow). 

She's probably been arrested ten times already. She might have three kids of three different colors, and no idea what her father looks like. 

She has no respect for her body or herself, and who could blame her for that? She's on her way to being a meth addict whore. 

Miranda Kay Rader: STUPID BRAINLESS DRUNKEN CUNT. 

She could've killed somebody on that highway. Some guy could've looked over, seen her topless, and tried to kill himself by driving over a cliff. 

Recommended by GOOTUBE

Websites don't leave you alone.

They insist on RECOMMENDING shit.

They aren't content you are on their site.

They want to push MORE garbage.

It's like a waitress in a shitty diner:

"Hello, here are your menus.

But FIRST, can I get you COFFEE?

Great. 

And APPETIZERS?

Let me take away the ordinary water, and bring you BOTTLED water.

Here are APPETIZERS. Can I top that off with EXTRA CHEESE?

Would you like a side order of BUTTER?" 

Before you know it, you're already nauseated.

And the bill is already twice what you expected.

So here's GooTube, not content you want to SURF their bootlegs.

They want you to look at shit before you even go look for what YOU want.

What's all this confirm? 

That if YOU want to make money on GOOTUBE you better pander to ASSHOLES.

Make "prank" videos, to show other cretins how to be even MORE annoying than they are.

Make "fake" videos and pretend they're real.

Like: "Har har, best PUNCH thrown at a guy who FARTED!" 

Or: "Chick bends over and shows KNICKERS and then FARTS!" 

Amuse the easily amused by showing "liquid metal you can play with."

Amuse the gullible and paranoid with faked up news items.
The news items should be about UFO's or why you should hoard can of food in your basement.

Another gambit is becoming a "viral" sensation among lonely Nerdists. Be a fagboy trying on make-up and asking "how do I look?" Be a ninny bitch singing Taylor Swift cover tunes. Open packages of crap you bought on Amazon. It's AMAZING what lonely pathetic idiots will gravitate to on GooTube.   

While TV networks try to pander to the lowest common denominator, here's a website that lets EVERYONE go lower and lower and lower to get attention. 

Millions of hits translates into, gosh, $50 or $100. People would KILL for that. Or at least, set up a camcorder, then run in front of it, pretend to fall down, expose knickers and make a fart noise.

That's ENTERTAINMENT. 

Another Self-Entitled British Cunt (besides Saskia)

How stupid and childish ARE these fuckhead Millennials?

An 8 year-old walks around stealing shit, and demanding attention, and using excuses like, "Because I feel like it" and "Because I want to." 

Here's a fuckhead on eBay who actually has the nerve to think he can copy off any COPYRIGHTED book because of some "GNU License" bullshit he and other twisted Communistic selfish ninnies invented. 

Huh? The monumental fucking GALL of this idiot. Stephen King? "Gone Girl?" ANY title anybody would care to name? It ALL belongs to HIM? HE can make five pounds each, copying them off from forums and torrents? 

Where the FUCK did he get the idea this was legal? Oh. Right. He made it up. He points to some blogger bullshit, some Mephisto notion, some "sharing" manifesto. 

Where is Judge Judy when you need her?

If only a book company would drag this bastard into court, where a judge could YELL at the prick and then put him away for 60 days. With no KINDLE or NOOK, just a big Nigga whose idea of entertainment is buggering white twits. 

Spiked Trevor

You know what Spike meant:

When you go to Germany, you expect to see Germans. When you go to Italy, you expect to see Italians. Ireland is for the Irish. 

Into the 21st Century, Spike predicted lookalike countries with no pride in their culture. Of course, he did go slightly overboard! 

 "I am not an ethnic mess! Mcdonald ...the man is African but he has a Scottish name. He speaks with an Estonian accent , he's jet black and he's got a Scottish name. That makes a fool out of a person." 

Poor Spike. He was wrong, of course. 

The problem isn't somebody who wants to adopt the customs of his chosen country and be a good and useful citizen, with a variant in color or religion. 

It's the ones who refuse to learn the language and customs, and, worse, are ingrates and demand special favors. They create no-go zones for themselves. Some even want to take over the country and overpopulate it, figuring they are the superior ones. 

The odd thing is, in their OWN lands, they are allowed to be as racist as they want. The excuse is, "It's their land, and we're trespassing. We're supposed to trade with them, if they'll have it, but stay the fuck out. And if we DO set foot in their land, we better observe ALL their customs and rules or die." And so white missionaries get slaughtered in Africa and anyone even in a fucking AIRPORT in a Muslim nation had better cover their heads and bow to everyone, and Jews are either forbidden in Dubai or the UAE or treated with crude disrespect. 

The idea of a "melting pot" is just an idea. The real "melting pot" for the 21st Century is what you call a planet where the Japanese have nuclear meltdowns that could pollute half the ocean, and climate change makes each year hellishly hotter than the last. 

Another THRILLER from the King of Poop

"Secret Anonymous Racist Kid Record?" FUCK and OFF

Websites are like assholes. Every asshole has one. 

While most are content with a Freeeeee blog, or having a web page on a highly influential SOCIAL MEDIA site like Twatter or Farcebook, SOME actually BUY a website. 

Then they put a snarky photo of themselves up, and pretend they're like Huffington Post or Newser or Gawker. 

The sad thing is that Google might lead you to a dopey website full of spin-doctoring or twisted theories, and for a moment, you believe it. You think, "I've landed on a REAL website that makes money with banner ads, or is sanctioned and paid for by reputable people..."

A moment later: "Christ, what a waste of time. Another paranoia page. Another self-important page where somebody is trying to buy fame and respectability. Another dead end on the information highway, run by a windbag, loser, crackpot or all three."

 I actually was researching "The Cannibal King," an obscure folk song, and THIS inane and pompous asshole's "treatise" showed up.  His entry for October 8, 2012 is a dreary and poorly researched lecture-essay with a distorted title. 

  

Take a look at that obnoxious Nazi's sneering, ugly face. "Angus" thinks he's the deal, doesn't he? 

He doesn't even have a fucking dot com he has a DOT NET. He's a "historian" with no credentials and an "advocate" of nothing but his own pseudo-intellectual opinions.

What a fuckheaded header. "Secret Anonymous Racist Kid Record" huh? You fucking TWAT. 

He makes it seem like Phil was a racist. NO. He makes it seem like Phil deliberately set out to make a "secret" record. NO. He makes it seem like Phil was trying to influence children into being racists. HELL NO.

As all normal people know, or could figure out, back in 1963 Phil was just an unknown folkie looking for work. He most likely answered an ad, or somebody at the record label went down to a club and began asking, "anybody care to do some songs for a flat fee?" 

All "Camp Favorite" is, is a collection of campfire songs that kids at that time liked to sing. "Cannibal King" may be racist in the oh-so-politically-correct 21st Century, but at the time, Christ, "Amos and Andy" was still being re-run, and Al Jolson records, with blackface covers, were easy to find in record stores. You could buy a cannibal costume or some other silly thing for Halloween and nobody would even shrug. The South wasn't even desegregated yet, and blacks were still riding the back of the bus and denied service in restaurants. 

And "Angus" the dingus has the nerve to come up with a reckless and WRONG header like that. Phil never mentioned the record because it was shit, that's all. It was not original material. His name wasn't on it. He got signed to Elektra quick enough, so he didn't need "The Campers" for a credit. And what could he say, "I was on this low budget album, uncredited, but it's me..." Christ, you can barely HEAR him since almost all of it is sung by BRATS. 

Here is yet another "can't do, can't create, but can yap an opinion" asshole trying to legitimize himself with a fancy-named website and a snotty picture of his ugly self. He uses Phil's name and warped "scholarship" to get some traffic. End result: nobody is impressed. Nobody is asking this jerk to lecture. Nobody wants him to write a book. Most would prefer if he just falls back into his toilet and drowns. 

There you are, another website masquerading as being legit, and another pretentious prick pretending his opinion matters. You can forgive a BLOG for being nothing more than what it is: a BLOG. But it's pretty disgusting when some jerk pays to have a website, and PRETENDS he has an organization behind him, and that he's legit when he's just a gaseous blowhard. 

WATERS - Mum's waters are different from Roger's waters

Quotes from the Breeders Guide

THE YELLOW-HEADED SHAUNA PARROT 

Territory: Ireland 
Migratory Pattern: All over the Fucking Internet
Vocabulary: Limited 
Intelligence: Limited




Known to be rather bird-brained, the Yellow-Headed Shauna seems docile, but has a tendency to squawk and complain. It will sometimes march up and down a row of eggs and complain that they all look alike and should be more original. It can suddenly get bored with every other birds' idiot chirping but its own. It's possible this cycle of irritability repeats every 28 days. 

The bird can live a long time but is known to be unstable in its 20's. 

The Yellow-Headed Shauna is not a songbird by any means, and some of its noises could be so distracting you'll want to put a cover over it. Fortunately it likes covers. 

Of other similar breeds, The Yellow-Headed Shauna is attracted to the Taylor Swift. The Swift is a very popular bird and has nothing whatever to do with Shauna. 

Bird fanciers are at first attracted to the Yellow-Headed Shauna for its huge, baby owl-like eyes, but there IS the all too prominent beak. There's also its habit of irritating repetition. You can put little headphones on it, and give it a little microphone, and try to teach the bird, but it does the same tricks. 

Most repeated phrases: 

O MA GOD
DO YOU LIKE MY TWEETS
HI GUYYYYYSSSSS

It has laid dozens of eggs on YouTube.  

Schnozzi : Nobody Nose What's Keeping Shauna Back

Shauna has tried a vocoder. She's tried a fancy new microphone. She's tried the color scheme of yellow hair, brown eyebrows and bright red lips. She's even padded her Size A bra so that she looks like she's shoplifting a pair of Ritz crackers. 

Obviously, it's THE NOSE! She's figured this out herself. She's not THAT stupid.
She's gone to a local plastic surgeon for imaging, and has narrowed it down to FOUR options! Any of them will make heads turn! Stomachs, too. 

Someone Else is Disgusted

What? A GOOTUBE video? 

Well, yeah, because it doesn't have that obnoxious modern fake-computer-animation, and it piles on the reasons the 21st Century is SHITE.

I've never paid any attention to Moby, except to note he's a vegetarian (but not exactly the same kind of vegetarian as Evander Holyfield). The music is ok, pretty much just the one refrain over and over, but as background to a video, it's fine. 

The animator isn't about to get too rude or "racist," but from puppy kicking to ass inflating, he covers a lot of territory. And watch what kind of animals are on their way via bus to a train to a bus to another train. 

Maggie May, Taking the Piss

Is Theresa "Dirty Maggie" May Doing ANYTHING? 

Well...

The Dark Side of The Beatles

UBER-TUBE

In Germany, they have Uber Tube. Any member of the Master Race can post things. 

As you'd expect, Uber Tube has degenerated quickly into nothing but bootlegs, egocentric singer-songwriters, cooking shows for Jews (with microwave oven recipes for Jewish babies), and channels where obese bearded virgins brag about what they've bought. 



Making a name for himself is one-eyed Eitenlieker Horst, whose name translates into English as Asslicking Horse.  It's possible that his name is actually Horst Eitenlieker, in which case, his English name is Horse Asslicker.  

He weighs about 340 pounds, and has bigger tits than Merkel. However, unlike Merkel he has no great sympathy for African refugees. In fact, he attends secret shows where he buys "verboten" items such as the stuffed head of a dead immigrant baby. He shows off how he received it, sealed in glass and embedded in sanitary cotton. 



Horst inherited a lot of money from his grandfather, who was in charge of knocking gold teeth out of Jewish skulls at Dachau. He spends most of his money accumulating horrific "collectibles," and the rest of his money on accumulating layers of fat. 

His favorite food is Meatloaf-Scheisse, which is actual dung pulled out of Marvin Aday's lower colon. Fortunately for Horst, Marvin is severely constipated. Horst pays the bills for Marvin's bi-weekly unclogging as well as hebdominal abdominal dingleberry picking as done by an expert in Bristol. The material is packed in ice and flown to Horst. It sometimes arrives at the back door, because he sometimes shoves it into his back door to save time. 

"Horst" is written first on the front door, but last on the back door, so that's no way to tell if it's his first or last name. Most of his friends call him "Hey you fat monster." He introduces himself by simply saying, "Where's food?" He usually says this in English, because German is a difficult language, even for other Germans. Even Merkel is often heard muttering, "Oy, Hebrew is easier and it's written from right to left." 

Speaking of skewed right and left, when Horst was just 15 years-old he had a terrible accident. He was masturbating to a photo of Eva Braun wearing a riding crop and boots. A sizzling gob of ejaculate slammed into his left eye, deflating the eyeball, and causing some brain damage. Horst had no idea about any of this for twenty years. Nobody realized how brain damaged he was till he began collecting stupid "collectors items." Horst didn't even get his eye checked until somebody said, "Do you even look at that garbage you buy?" When it was confirmed that he had perfect sight in one eye, he kept right on buying garbage. 

He sometimes buys rare photos of his first and only love, Eva Braun. He used to ask his grandfather about Eva, and loved to hear the story about how Eva once came to Dachau to watch his grandfather pull gold fillings out of Jews' teeth. "I wish you could do it more painfully," Eva scolded. His grandfather replied, "But they're dead!" 

Sometimes his grandfather would abruptly shout, "Don't mention the war!" After all, there was some trauma connected to it. When the Allies launched their bombing raids, the Horst House (or maybe the Eitenlieker House, nobody knows) was destroyed in a fire. Lost forever was the recipe for Nesselrode Pie. In over 50 years, nobody's been able to make it right, and almost nobody even tries. So, you kill thousands of Jews, but you lose a pie recipe. It sort of evens out. 

When Horst goes to secret auctions and das boot sales, the fat bastard is still almost always identified as a Nazi because a) he mentions it on his Uber Tube channel, b) he insists on wearing a swastika, and c) his grandmother, Ilsa the She Wolf of the S.S. wore the identical style of beard. 

Cilla Gets the Last Tell-a-Laugh on the Grim Grimsby Goons

You may recall our friend Cilla, who was so rudely bounced off the Telegraph, where she was doing SUCH a good job as a commentator and humorist. 

Where, oh WHERE is she now? And is she making more money than ever before? 

She's on the INTERNET of course, and YES, she's cleaning up...by being dirty. You might not even recognize her, but that's a big secret of make-up. A girl can turn herself into just about any fantasy you want thanks to hair dye, costumes and make-up tricks.

As most everyone does, she's got her Twatter and Farcebook accounts, and a CHOSEN NAME to use with them, and she's NETWORKING on dozens upon dozens of sites, all of them getting a few pennies per view of her pix, or forwarding chumps to the page where they can buy a MEMBERSHIP and get her goodies, download videos and even MEET her if the price and location are right. 

 

What a bargain, worn panties for just $50. On eBay you have no idea WHO really wore them. Well, ok, you don't know if SHE really wore 'em or maybe some ugly friend, or she just put a chunk of cod in them and left them on the kitchen counter overnight. (For an extra $20 you'll get a photo of her IN the panties, but that's not saying how long she was in them! But...she has an honest face. Many of 'em. In fact very few pix resemble our Cilla at all! 

The operative word is IMAGINATION, which is how she can create dozens upon dozens upon dozens of different photo shoots in different costumes, make-up and hair color. Different camera angles create different looks, too. She also has downloadable movie clips that involve everything from ordinary sucking to squirting piss at some moron in a leather hood. Gooker didn't want to be recognized! 

IMAGINATION is how she became Cilla, thanks to some Photoshop alterations of hair and dentistry and so on. She became the IDEAL columnist for the Telegraph, and did they appreciate it? NO. Well, it's too late now to make amends, she sniffs. And if they WANT to sniff, it's FIFTY BUCKS plus SHIPPING! 

Bend Over Backwards and Pay these Bend Over Fruitcakes

Yes, Dickstarter is LOADED with people with their hands out. 

There are also guys with their dicks out. They say, "We're SPECIAL, we're GAY, we're THE CHOSEN PEOPLE. So give us MONEY!" 

"Hello, We're The Fruit and the Piano. We're HERE and we're QUEER. One of us likes to dress up like a girlie, with make-up, suspendies and a bra, just like his dear papa! 

"We were going to ask for 666,666 but we lowered it. We can save a little if we wear paper underwear on the plane. Yes, the plane. WE WANT TO GO TO AN ANAL GANG BANG IN LONDON. 

"Your money will go primarily for our fist class flight (from home here to London here, but not to Bristol here). We'l need suitable fabulous food and lodgings for a month. We will also be paying for the gangbang itself.  

"Don't think this is just a pleasure trip (the gangbang will be at the Pleasure Dome). After the Four Poofs enjoy us, we will ask them to create a backing track for a YouTube video. We think if we end up with a professional and dazzling YouTube video, the affluent gay clique may notice us and finance a show in San Francisco or Greenwich Village. Whee! How good for US. And you can say you helped. Doesn't that make you feel special?

"There are people who make an entire YouTube video for nothing on their home equipment, and even PAY for their own home equipment. But are they GAY? Are they just egocentric self-entitled tits? GAY is the minority to care about. 

"Do you see a big black football player taking a knee for gays? Not in public, no. In public the football player does it to support black lives matter. Well, how about gay lives? How about AIDS? Black men get shot because they are being uncouth, and if they die, well, being uppity has consequences. But gays are all creative and sensitive, and it's terrible that gays get AIDS just because they want to have sex in a bus station toilet with strangers. Yes, AIDS, unlike a black shot by a cop, can be prevented, but why? It's much more important to have unprotected sex with strangers than try to make minimum wage selling bootleg cigarettes on a street corner in New Jersey. This is why we will give 1% of our Kickstarter money to AIDS. But only if we are FUNDED and have 1% extra.  

"Please, if we have to go to the UK on our own, we might only be able to afford 75 pounds and have to stay at to the Adam and Eve Hotel in Blackpool. We might never get to see the Four Poofs, and instead might have to earn our flight money home by pimping ourselves to a drunken psychic named Petelnegro! Old ladies know gay men can fuck all night, because the idea of actually coming in a VAGINA is just too too repugnant! 

"In cuntclusion, we want to stress that we will ONLY have a gangbang with the FOUR POOFS and NOT with Jonathan Woss. If we can wangle a meeting with Graham Norton, though, we might wangle him! And if we can wangle a meeting with Amy Wangle-staff Watson, we will ride her up the Thames like a tugboat, with her husband affixing a motor to her twat!" 

Is there no END to his talents???

Aretha: A NATURAL WALRUS

One (of the MANY) things I hate about FARCEBOOK, is that assholes can add all their friends' names to a post. Which means all their friends automatically get it on their timeline (whether they want to or not) and THEIR friends automatically see it too. Christ, I barely like half the people I'm friends with, I sure as fuck don't like 99% of THEIR idiot friends, especially ones with the poor manners to force their crap on everyone.

That's like being in a restaurant and seeing some jerk at the next table get up and start sprinkling salt on everyone's food: "I love salt! You'll like it, too!" And then somebody at the table makes eye contact with me, gets up, and pours salt on MY food. "Here, you'll probably like it too, because my friend says so!"  

WHAT THE FUCK.

If I post something on my fucking time line, I expect my FRIENDS will see it if they care. I think it's fucking PUSHY to insist on typing in every friend's name so they HAVE TO SEE IT, and it's automatically posted to every friend's friend.

I did NOT want to see a fucking GOOTUBE video of Aretha Monkey Franklin bellowing her sweaty mouth. But some FUCKHEAD posted it like a fucking chain letter and I had to be annoyed by it. 

Yeah, there she is, three hundred pounds of diva dung, coating her flabby elephant-shit body in a FUR COAT. And some moron has to let us know, in case we're not aware of who "Aretha Franklin" is, or "Natural Woman" that..."THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME."

Yeah, two of my favorite words: FREAKING and AWESOME. Nice going, duuuuuuuuuuuude. 

He posted the fucking GooTube link. 

It started to play, and she was so ugly, and the audience members SO retarded, I did some screen caps. 

This loudmouth ubangi's performance was for a "Kennedy Centers Honors Show," where five random celebrities who are still alive, get given silly looking medals. O'Bam Bam drapes them around each celebrity's neck. FREAKING AWESOME.

Each celebrity is serenaded with a "tribute." Since the person is usually singer or songwriter, you guessed it, five or six media whores come out to sing cover versions. So Pile O' Grits Aretha was singing "Natural Woman" to honor what's her name, Carole somebody or other. And O'Bam Bam put a silly looking gold medal around Carole's neck, like the 80 year-old bitch just won the 200 meter breaststroke. 

I don't have a picture of O'Bam Bam and his wife watching the show. Above? I think that's Diana Ross and Al Green. Aren't they super COOL? They're diggin' ARETHA! 

Flip Wilson, as a JOKE, and dressed in DRAG, used to snap his fingers and holler, "RAY CHARLES!" What else did you need to say? Ha ha. The use of somebody's name to denote coolness? I'm sure Mick Jagger's sneered "Muddy Waters" just as Eric Clapton's muttered, "Robert Johnson." So, a lot of lame-ass white people like to nod their head and interject their choice: "Mmm, Miles Davis." or "Bird!" or "I love me some Temps!" (Yeah, I knew white idiot nerd teens who didn't care about The Beatles; they'd strut around and slap five to their friends and grin and say "THE TEMPS!") 

The jerk who posted this fucking GooTube wrote "FREAKING AWSOME" on the top, and then, doubling down, on the bottom just two words: "ARETHA FRANKLIN!" 

I mean, nudge-nudge wink-wink SAY NO MORE! Especially if you're as white and ridiculous looking as Eric Idle. 

IF I'M BEING HONEST...

Most people couldn't stand 10 minutes of the bitch, no matter how talented she is. Her R&B shit is overdone and overripe and the longer she's been at it, the more phony she's become. 

A little known fact for most people, is that this SOUL standard, "A Natural Woman," was written by a pair of JEWS. The music was written by a plain-faced yenta who used to be called Carole Klein. More importantly, the words...those fucking fabulous words about feeling like "A NATURAL WOMAN" were written by a JEWISH MAN, Gerry Goffin. 

At this "Honors" show, Gerry was nowhere to be seen. He may have been dead already. Or just not invited, because Goffin was a bit of an eccentric and everybody loved Carole instead. So fuck HIM. At the show, where the former Carole Klein was being honored as one of the five most deserving Americans of the year, she was practically wetting her panties over ARETHA's bawling.

Jesus. Moses. Look at that fucking yenta holy-rolling her eyes. She wrote the fucking song, she's heard it thousands of times, she's heard EVERYBODY sing it, she's heard ARETHA singing it probably a hundred times, and now she's acting like the red sea is about to part. And we know that can't happen because she's passed menopause. 

She's thinking: "Oy oy oy! The schvatza is singing MINE song! Sure, I wrote it, but it takes a cleaning woman to do it justice! Soul? I have no soul? Me and my schmucky husband wrote it, but feh. FEH! Look at this bitch go!"

Yeah, look at her. The obese blob of fat needs to wear a FUR COAT on stage, when the lights are blazing and everybody's sweating?? This slob generates so much heat she can't wear a nose ring because it melts. 

As for the jerk who posted this "FREAKING AWESOME" video, I hope he's driving home on the Jersey freeway, gets stalled, and three black guys come out of the bushes and beat his ass. I mean BEAT HIS ASS. And while he's saying, "I was just listening to my Aretha Franklin CD...she's fucking awesome," they throw him out of the car and burn rubber. His car ends up sold for parts by a player in Newark, and the white guy is in traction for a month, and can't teach his fucking New Jersey school brats about how awful all the founding fathers were (except Alexander Hamilton, star of that hip-hip Broadway show he's seen five times). 

Aretha Franklin, the living legend? Why not drop dead already, bitch. Why not be as dead as the animals that were killed to make that circus-tent-sized fur coat? 

HACK IN THE USA

What, couldn't get on TWATTER on Friday? 

What WAS going on? People so busy TWATTERING the site was busy? Or was it the usual dropped wi-fi connection or sudden mysterious SLOW BROWSER requiring to have its cache flushed?

Oh, just the Russians having fun. Sort of like Wikileaks for EVERYONE. Hey, GUYYYYYSSSSSS, if you're SO happy with Wikileaks and some assholes letting you see anyone's email or dirty photos, then you should be happy these same people also figure they're entitled to fuck with your TWATTER and NETFLIX if they feel like it.

Let's not be hypocrites. If we think anonymous people are great for giving away the entire Beach Boys collection, or diverting attention from Donald Trump by revealing private wise-ass emails from Hillary's staffers, then enjoy TWATTER and NETFLIX going down.

SOMEBODY decided you should suffer and rage because you can't have FREEDOM OF SPEECH and do what you want! Don't complain. This person has a great plan, just like Anonymous and Assange and all the prize Assholes. A IS FOR ANARCHY. 

The Fab ONE

How They Got Him To Fly to America

You want ME to play St. John the Divine? 

I'll have nun of it! 

Mac Fucks Its Fans Again: Rocky Treacherous SIERRA

The forums are heating up with PAGE after PAGE of "what's going on, how do I fix this" questions. The trendy LATINO named "SIERRA" has replaced the trendy LATINO name "El Capitan" for Apple's new OS system. 

But how the fuck do you get it to install? And how come the "improvements" are far outweighed BY THE BUGS???? 

The advice on how to get back to some kind of normalcy is usually garbled and ineffectual. PAGE after PAGE of Q&A is loaded with hapless excuses and frustrations, like THIS random PAGE



Huh? You see your screen is black? You get the BEACHBALL of death? Your wifi is being knocked off? The mouse is LAGGING? Features that USED to work no longer work, and FAVORITE APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OBSOLETE WITH NO WAY OF EVEN SAVING THEM IN A NEW FORMAT?

You say "Why is it that a company insists on offering a NEW OPERATING SYSTEM without testing it thoroughly and removing the bugs?" 

Remember the two biggest words in technology: FUCK and OFF.