AMY WETONE EMOTES AND MOPES AND MOPS UP

We haven't heard from Amy Wag-a-Staff Wetone in a while. 

It turns out, she's found a porn version of GooTube, and she's begun narrating a multi-part adventure! 

Amy's starring in an update of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice." She's made it much more prurient so that more than 3 people might actually want to watch. 

Amy plays a porker who takes pride in her shaved twat. She tries to overcome the prejudice guys have in going to bed with a silly fat cow. 

Sadly, every time she finds someone willing to go to bed with her, her pride is shaken: in Chapter One, the guy puts a bag over her head. In Chapter Two, he puts a bag over HIS head in case hers breaks. In Chapter Three a guy sticks a glass slide in her twat and then studies all the bizarre microbes on it, using a microscope. In Chapter Four, as seen above, Amy moans, "Fill me up," and the guy says, "OK, take the piss!" He floods her with the equivalent of a six-pack of Watney's. 

Oh, it's a sorrowful story indeed, as our heroine finds misfortune heaping on top of her, along with garbage, a 15-stone swine, an old mattress, and "4 poofs and a piano," who mistake her for Robin on the Verge. "Robin's asshole and her cunt are about the same," one of them titters, "and her titters and Robin's are the same size, too!" 

Chapter Five? Amy is not saying if and when there will be a Chapter Five. "I may join my husband," she says, "and become a member of the River Police." She is being cautioned that if she jumps into the Thames, the splash might drown thousands of people.