Filipino Weirdos treat the Pope like he's a Muppet

The people of the Philippines...are not the most sophisticated bunch, are they? Filipinos live on a rat's nest of an island, hot, humid and disgusting. The Beatles were glad to leave and few celebrities EVER go there. The Pope, in his infinite generosity, and in smelling out naive Catholics wherever they might be, is going.

Hurray Hurray! Get yer POPE DOLLS...

Oh, yeah, it looks JUST like him.

Pope Francis knows that supersizing isn't the Catholic future. It's pandering to the mites of the world. Most Catholics now are about 4 feet tall with a manure complexion. They live in squalor (across the street from poverty) and are so sad and childlike they believe in the religion of gaudy dresses and "please, fuck all you want."

Filipinos have probably had more than enough chances to go Muslim, but Muslims are a sour bunch. They are hung up with tons of rules. They force women into burkas and that's not so nice in a miserably damp and humid climate. Especially among people who are hot-blooded and slightly crazy (Filipino ladyboys anyone? Take a step back, Gary Glitter, even YOU don't want something that ugly).

As for the other 4 foot tall brownies, the Latin Americans and Mexicans, they ADORE the Pope, too. After all, though he looks quite European (a lot of Europeans flooded into Argentina, Chile, etc. etc. at one time), they also love the idea that the first rule of Catholicism is to fuck like bunnies.

The demographic for Catholicism used to be the Irish, but they're depressed, cold, and now have even more reason to get drunk. So Pope Francis will be like the equally ridiculous Wizard of Oz, and spend his time visiting munchkins. He'll probably even bless every idiotic doll version of himself, too. Then he'll probably hit the sacramental wine, big time.