Let Mohamed Do It

Know what? If your GOD is so great, he doesn't need YOU.

If your GOD is alive and making sure you win a boxing match, or have your seventh brat, or decides that you'll be one of the survivors when a toilet backs up and drowns half the people in the bathroom in shit...that GOD can deal with cartoonists.

Take a look at this goat-faced moron:

Isn't that pathetic? This guy grows a beard the replicates his grandma's vagina, puts on a sheet, and wears some kind of girly-beanie, and he's going to tell the world what to do.

Did GOD tell him to dress like a fag on Halloween?

You can't reason with retards, that's the problem. "OK, God-Believer, of ANY faith (Muslim, Jewish, Christian), summon your boy right NOW. Walk on the water. Turn water into wine. See that I don't get out-bid on eBay."

"Er, uh, God doesn't work that way."

No? But God chooses sides in a fucking football game? God decided the George Foreman should win over Michael Moorer...but lose a decision to Shannon Fucking Briggs?

Allah is Great, so that's why Bin-Laden is at the bottom of the sea? And why you live in a cave?

WHAT THE FUCK. What kind of weak, pathetic God needs a bunch of homely idiots committing murder in his name? He's perfectly capable of striking anyone dead with a heart attack, right? He can send a plague of locusts down. At the very least, he could've fucked with the pens of the Charlie Hebdo staff so they'd run dry the minute they tried to draw the fabulous Prophet.

The tragedy is that pathetic, stupid people are drawn to religion, because, as John Lennon sagely said, "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." These people are in pain. They are poor. They are unsanitary. They are very ugly. They are dumber than sponges. They actually get it into their ridiculous heads that if they wear silly outfits and deny themselves a pork sandwich and wash their feet a lot and kill some Jews and cartoonists...that's gonna impress God enough to say, "YOU get the virgins and the goats! AND a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni."

This isn't a fuckin' quiz show. This is life on Earth, and you bastards are making it even more of a hell than it already is. FUCK OFF. Let Mohamed handle this shit. He doesn't need YOU.