"Yo, Kate! I'm da FIRST LADY!"
"Michelle Obama?"
"No! FIRST LADY of NEW YOKE, fool! Since I'm BLACK, I have to have me a TITLE. No other mayor's wife struts around as FIRST LADY, or gets to hire a $170,000 "assistant." I run this town. Me and Rev. Al Sharpton!"
"Oh, does that mean the White Man's Burden is over in New York City?"
"HELL no. Not only has their been more visible racial tension since my man Bill De Blasio took over, but we've seen more of Sharpton than ever before. Me and my adorable kids are FAMOUS! Isn't that nice? This is what happens when you marry some big dummy who is famous!"
"Tell me about it! I'm beloved all over the world. People sympathize with me for marrying a tall balding twit and having to be preggers all the time."
"You get to wear fashion, girl! Waddya think? THE COLOR PURPLE!"
"Uh, very sophisticated and classy."
"And the knot on my head?"
"Adorable. You are quite the precocious pygmy."
"Yep, and dig my name. I'm CHIRLANE MCCRAY, yo! I don't use ma married last name, De Blasio. I be true to who I be. I not be an EYE-talian."
"I understand. Believe me, a balding guy with goofy teeth would never have had a shot with me if he wasn't in line for the throne."
"Hah! I know what it's like. After a soul food dinner we're all in line for the throne. I get there first. The kids need to spray a lot of perfume in the air when I come out of the baffroom."
"Ew. That's a pun. Or a palindrome. Something."
"You tall, girl! And you got a nose! Wish I had one."
"Buy one! Isn't it nice earn so much money and do so little?"
"Grrrrrrl powerrrrr!"
"The funny thing is that our men do even LESS!"
"Rat own, rat own!"
"You know who was killed in Manhattan today in 1980? John Lennon."
"Who? He wasn't black? Fuck him."
Today's front page of the NY POST.
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