Psycho bitch Gloria Hiroko Chapman Grins With a Killer

"Grow old along with me..."

Lah dah dee dee dee...

LOOK at the HAPPY couple, who have endured all through the past 34 years:

There's your true-love Christmas Greeting Card.

It was snapped during Gloria Hiroko Chapman's conjugal (giggle tee-hee-hee) visit with her adorable hubby, Mark David Chapman.

"God bless our love, God Bless Our love..."

Below, quotes from Gloria Hiroko Chapman, given to the London Daily Mail in an exclusive interview. This blog gives full credit to to James Robertson for sitting down with the adorable lady. All I've done is quote her...but insert my own version of the questions asked.

Now, this John Lennon guy that Mark shot in the back four or five times. The one that autographed an album for him, and who made himself accessible to fans by walking around the neighborhood...

"John was a nice person," Gloria allows, "but Mark wasn’t thinking about that, that day, and put himself first. That was his mistake."

Oh. He "put himself first," like cutting in front of the line at Tesco? Like eating all the potato chips in the bowl?

Tell us more, Gloria Hiroko Chapman, of how much you LOVE those conjugal visits you get. You have SEX, right?

"Oh...well, it's great...of course, it's great!"

And what else do you do, that John and Yoko haven't been able to do for 34 years?

"We are a loving couple. On the visits, I bring the food and Mark and I make a homemade pizza. We lay out all the ingredients – peppers, tomatoes, onions and cheeses because Mark likes crunchy snacks but he doesn’t eat unhealthy things. There is a television and we watch lots of episodes of Wheel Of Fortune."

How WONDERFUL for you, Gloria. You are Japanese like Yoko Ono. How's that work for you?

"I’m Mark’s wife and I can identify myself with her more than anybody. I feel for her. One thing we prayed for is that she finds Jesus Christ in her life and to find forgiveness for Mark. I hope some day I could meet her and express that."

Sure, honey, you put yourself first. Yoko should forgive you two, and understand that BOTH of you simply feel shooting John Lennon in the back four or five times was just, oh, one of those things. And Paul? Are you upset that he called her lovable hubby the 'jerk of all jerks?'

"Paul McCartney has a right to say what he wants, but if he was to meet Mark, I think he would like him. Mark is a very likeable and loving person. He always puts other people’s needs before his own and would welcome a visit from Mr McCartney."

Berkowitz, the "Son of Sam" who killed a bunch of people, is now a Jesus freak. What about you, darling? Married to such a good Christian as Mark David Chapman, you're full of Jesus too? Are you going to heaven with Mark?

"When you leave the Earth, you go to one of two places: Heaven or Hell. I believe John Lennon read the Gospel when he was young and in his last breath he could have turned his heart to Jesus. If someone is dying of a gunshot wound, they still have time to reach out to Jesus at the very end. I hope I can meet John in Heaven."

Adorable, just ADORABLE, my little sushi roll. John of course sang "Imagine...no religion." But see how you and Mark's fanaticism have worked so well. For many, Lennon's death was the end of all belief in a kind and just God. Or God at all. But God is a concept...by which a psycho killer and his wife keep on producing more pain.

So, dear flower petal Gloria, is it true that you knew your precious blubbery hubby was going to fly to New York to murder John Lennon? Didn't he show you the gun?

"He totally convinced me that he had got rid of the gun. But I was totally deceived, so I don’t feel guilty. I can’t live those kind of regrets. I have to go forward or it could make me sick."

Nobody wants you to feel sick. Why don't you whip out that lovely letter you send out to raise money for Jesus or yourself, or whatever it is. It spin-doctors a minor incident when Marky-Mark was just, oh, not thinking of good ol' Jesus?

"Mark’s eyes weren’t on Jesus [that day], they were on himself....It’s really sad...We had been given a plaque with the Ten Commandments on it as a wedding gift and Mark saw that in our home every day. He saw: “Thou shalt not kill.” He said that that one commandment kept jumping out at him, but he chose to disobey."

You'd never think of divorcing the great Mark David Chapman, the famous man who teaches us all to believe in Jesus Christ. Right?

"God hates divorce...Our love has grown and grown. He tells me to remember love and intimacy comes first, though we have disagreements like every regular couple."

Ha ha, yes, well not like EVERY regular couple. Yoko hasn't had a disagreement with John Lennon in 34 long, long years. YOU two, get your happy conjugal visits, and the supreme delight in torturing Yoko with your constant demands for parole. You are such a delightful pair. Right?

"‘No. We have ups and downs, but we hang in there. Mark knows how lucky he is that I’ve stood by him."

Gee, too bad you didn't stand on your head when his killer sperm went up your twat. You could have given birth to a new Jesus.

"I am 63 now so that would be a kind of a miracle. I don’t pray for children now, but early on I did. And Mark loves children. We are both very child-like ourselves....If he was on the outside...we would have a baby, a dog and a cat...I only hope that the world can open their hearts to Jesus and forgiveness. It is what keeps Mark positive and happy. He truly has found peace."

We're all SO deeply hoping your beloved husband has "found peace." Does it still bother him that people refer to December 8th 1980 as the day THE MUSIC DIED?

"That’s not something he likes to hear. No, he is not happy about that. Not at all."

Oh, well sorry for bringing it up then, Delicate Rosebud. Let's back to your favorite man in the whole world besides that genius Mark David Chapman. I refer to Jesus. If you think about it, if you truly BELIEVE in the great Jesus, then you must beieve Jesus Christ himself pulled the trigger on John Lennon, didn't he? Only he used your husband's divine hand. He gave YOUR HUSBAND the supreme joy of gunning down a symbol of peace. I guess Jesus never quite liked that "we're bigger than Jesus Christ" line, huh? Well, Jesus could walk on the water, so maybe he'll lift your beloved husband from jail and let him descend onto the surf of your beloved Hawaii where, amazingly, people have kept YOU well fed and employed, despite the fact that you are bat shit crazy and belong in a mental home.

"I believe in miracles...Mark wants to walk along Kailua beach in Hawaii again. It is where he proposed to me, which is lovely."

Lovely. LOVELY. How about some famous last words from the man himself, Mark David Chapman?

"I have the Lord Jesus Christ. He is all I need in here, in prison, in life, in anything. If only I had turned to Him then. He is the one friend who will never leave you, or fail you. I know. He will FORGIVE you. I know."