YOKO and MACCA more of the same

Some of us can't help loving Yoko (despite the world's general distaste if not loathing for her) and Macca (despite his mediocrity and self-parody).

Yoko is amazing with her daily Tweets. She stays forever young by being stubbornly naive. She asks dumb questions ("Why hunger?") promotes the usual charities (name-checking John; the money going who knows where) and when she isn't being facile ("War is Over If You Want It" continues to be Tweeted in every language) she just comes up with some Astro-nut remark to let us know she could easily come up with a record called "Single Fantasy." Maybe because of all she's gone through, living in fantasy is her best way of coping.

As for Macca, he gets rewarded for being alive and in such good spirits. While Ringo seems perpetually on some kind of tranquilizer, leaving him to mime peace symbols, and answer questions with airy disinterest, Paul does seem to engage people while dealing with being a living legend. Can anyone NOT ask a Beatles question within two minutes, or bring up Lennon, or pander to him with silly love questions?

A few night ago, he returned to his favorite talk show, "The Tonight Show" with the 40 year-old puppy, Jimmy Fallon. Fallon, at his age, has remnants of of old show biz bullshit (he is constantly fawning and fake-laughing and pounding the desk in helpless hilarity, ala Sammy Davis Jr.). He appeals to the 20-somethings by treating everything and everyone like a game. His show is more of a party than an interview show of any kind, and his attention span dictates that after a while, it's "Let's play charades...let's play Password...let's play throwing water on each other...let's sing a duet..."

This time out, he childishly imitated McCartney in front of McCartney. Not once. Twice. Maybe even three times, till he jibber-jabbered, "I'm sorry, I'll stop doing that! I love you!"

Paul, ever tolerant, simply imitated Fallon's imitation of him, sing-songing a reply and pointedly wiping at the side of his nose, as Fallon kept doing. But Fallon also showed off (isn't he supposed to be the HOST?) by mimicking Ringo and even John Lennon! Imagine...somebody mimicking John Lennon in McCartney's face!

McCartney had mentioned that people seem to imitate him by doing a Liverpool accent, which he either had and lost, or never had. Fallon jumped in to point out that Ringo has a deeper voice and a stronger Liverpool accent, and then he pointed out that John would stare at you and talk in a high nasal voice. Oh, the joy for Macca, of seeing Fallon transform into a strident, nasal Lennon. Fallon then started on doing George Harrison, but he faltered. "I can't do George," he laughed.

The whole point of McCartney's visit was not, ala Yoko, to announce plans of going to Mars, but to announce something worse...that he'd written a song for a fucking VIDEO GAME. Paulie shrugged and said, "That's where the money is." Sad, but true. Video games aren't as easily pirated, kids want them and expect Mum and Dad to pay for the real thing, and the companies are compelled to pay royalties for the music. McCartney probably cleared a million bucks from the video game (nevermind the chump change he'll get when iTunes and Amazon and the others release the mp3 of it).

And so it goes...2014 has been a miserable year, but a few ageless favorites are still doing exactly what they've always done. They've done it again. Yoko re-tools her old songs into disco hits, does art shows, and Tweets every day. She also answers questions every week. Paulie continues to tour, show up to gasps of joy on talk shows, and record songs that still hold the promise of maybe being good. Only they almost never are. And Ringo is Ringo.

Oh...in honor of the upcoming holiday, I should mention that Fallon kissed Paul's ass by saying, at least twice, that his favorite holiday song of all time is: "Wonderful Christmas Time." Nevermind that for most people it's on the Top 10 "hate it" list of both Christmas songs and Macca songs.