Jimmy Fallon Doesn't Work; Admires His Dumb Dollop Instead

A few days ago I mentioned that "Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon, 40 years old, and with the energy and attention span of a puppy, had to take several days off because of the SURROGATE birth of his 2nd child.

The guy is 40. He could easily have walked over to the studio, interviewed some bimbo and some bad actor, introduced a shitty rock band, and left. All done in less than 2 hours. He could've told his adoring audience, "My SURROGATE had a baby, so excuse me for not doing anything elaborate, like a sketch, or my annoying impression of Neil Young singing. I'll just do the minimum that Letterman or Graham Norton or Woss does..."

A problem? No.

Instead he took off two days which fucked up the people who had been booked, and fucked up the studio audience which probably meant HUNDREDS of people showed up only to be turned away. That's irresponsibility. It's a fucking kick in the balls to "The Show Must Go On."

But in this insane world of self-entitlement and wussihood, the few papers that mentioned this at all, mewled that poor Jimmy should've been entitled to take a whole week off. If not two. If not three. Because we MUST have "paid paternity leave" for Daddies.

Yes, Daddies should be PAID to overpopulate the world.

What the fuck did Fallon do all day long? Stare at a stupid dollop of pinkness barely different from a baby chimp? You're going to tell me this hyper-pest Fallon didn't walk away after five minutes and start watching a football game? Work on his Springsteen imitation?

This brat is not going to say a word for YEARS. This brat is not going to do anything remotely interesting for YEARS. He's already had a kid...unless this one had two heads, what the fuck is so important about staring at it rather than doing his fucking job? PS, as mentioned above, his job TECHNICALLY TAKES ONE HOUR A DAY. If he didn't feel like sight-reading the monologue, or reading it over a few times (5 minutes, tops) before going out there, he could've told the audience, "I'm just interviewing and hosting tonight."

As I said previously, Carson would've done his show. Leno would've done his show. Letterman would've done his show. At best, they would've been with their wives (or girlfriends) as long as they could, and then, "Bye, honey, you're not even close to dropping the wad, so I'll do my show and be back within two or three hours. Millions of monkeys are born every fucking day, but I'm one of the few people on Earth with a late night talk show. And THE SHOW MUST GO ON!"