Guess what, it doesn't mean a fucking thing INSIDE the US of A, either. We've got a variety of awards already. Aside from the vast variety of awards that millionaire entertainers can wave (Oscar, Emmy, Tony, Grammy, People's Choice, MTV Award, etc. etc.) there ARE government-sanctioned things such as the Medal of Freedom. Bob Dylan won it. Supposedly it's the highest honor a civilian can have. What's it to ya, Moby Dick?
On the LOW end, there's the annual televised "Kennedy Honors" Award. I have no idea why it started or what the fuck it's really all about, except an excuse to applaud celebrities and see them wear a faggy rainbow ribbon around their necks.
"The Kennedy Center Honors are awarded annually for exemplary lifetime achievement in the performing arts." Yeah. So they say.
Don't they all feel silly with those ribbons on?
When The White House started doling out this shit, in 1978, there were some pretty impressive people worth honoring, even with a stupid award. As long as a President was on hand, what the fuck.
1978: Marian Anderson, Fred Astaire, George Balanchine, Richard Rodgers, and Arthur Rubinstein.
1979: Aaron Copland, Ella Fitzgerald, Henry Fonda, Martha Graham, and Tennessee Williams.
1980: Leonard Bernstein, James Cagney, Agnes de Mille, Lynn Fontanne, and Leontyne Price.
America had enough innovative and important people to make the award an amusing if non-essential trinket. Most of the recipients won better (Oscar, Tony, etc.) or were rewarded the old fashioned way...with LOTS OF MONEY
As you'd expect the quality of brilliant, legitimate STARS and creative people began to ebb in the 80's, and by 1985 some real clinkers began to appear. Who the fuck is Merce Cunningham? What's so special about Irene Dunne? The others were Bob Hope, Alan Jay Lerner & Frederick Loewe, and Beverly Sills.
Still, as late as 1990 you had a credible show: Dizzy Gillespie, Katharine Hepburn, Risë Stevens, Jule Styne, and Billy Wilder. OK, Styne wasn't exactly a genius, but you have to throw in a Broadway writer or star or the fags get upset.
Things have gotten pretty ridiculous since the turn of the century. Honoring Morgan Freeman in 2008? What's so fucking great about Morgan Freeman? How about Merle Haggard in 2010? Name two of his songs. Anyone. Can't do it, right? 2011 and Barbara Cook. Anyone out there know that name? I'm not saying you have to be well known to be honored, but Barbara Cook isn't exactly a pioneer of anything. 2011 and Neil Diamond. GOOD LORD. 2012 and Buddy Guy? Oh, how hip, the black bluesman. 2013, and we're getting politically correct with women you never heard of (Martina Arroyo) a black jazz guy that is almost nobody's record collection (Herbie Hancock) and of course, because he's Hispanic, Mr. Oye Como Who Gives a Crap, Carlos Santana.
This year, 2014:
Al Green, Tom Hanks, Patricia McBride, Sting and Lily Tomlin.
STINKY STING? He's not even American! Why honor STING? Because he sang "Every Breath You Take" impersonating a homicidal maniac? Because he practically put on burnt cork to wail like a fucking Jamaican dickhead on "Roxanne?" What else? He wrote that stupid song with "I hung my head" in the chorus a dozen times...which is vaguely anti-gun but not quite. Need I go on? His "Greatest Hits" could barely fit on one side of old vinyl, really. But this dope is being honored for influencing Americans. How? Telling them to do yoga and fuck by remaining as still as possible till you lose your erection? Fuck you, Tantric Twit!
Al Green? Not all that memorable, really. How many black people even own his albums? Patricia McBride? Who?
That leaves Tom Hanks, an adequate "All American" actor in comedy and drama, and Lily Tomlin, a somewhat pretentious lesbian who played an annoying little brat and stole Elaine May's nasal telephone operator bit on "Laugh-In." That was a LONG time ago. She made a few movies. Nice lady. Not a legend.
Awards, awards, awards. Really, if you live long enough, you'll get an award from somebody for something. If you have to tell somebody you won an award, then you're not anybody too fucking important.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.