Bill: "Was I Too Hasty? He's Tasty and She's Pasty!"

Bill Hoobastank just received a new song, "The Joy of Defeat."

"We all can relate to it," he gurgles. "If you fail, just smile a crooked smile and be happy. That's the message.

"This song has such great rhymes! I agree that you should go with your gut, or your colon, and just take whatever shit that comes out. Whatever rhymes is good enough!

"This song could be the big hit number in "Give My Retards To Broadway." I'm tempted to go on Kickstarter with it and try again, and to give Knickerless another chance. He wrote the last two stanzas of this song, and he matched Sassy in being able to rhyme stuff.

"Musically, his guitar strumming is like a brush against a stained toilet seat. It's a fine counterpoint to Sassy's squeaky singing, which sounds like piss echoing through a thin sewer pipe."