Wayne Rooney? Tom Brady? Who the FUCK are they?

Very nice, Rooney. Very nice, Brady.

You both make a fucking fortune. But outside of the UK, outside of the USA...nobody gives a damn about you idiots.

That's the funny thing about "team" sports. You might be the star of your "team," but you're still a nobody. You're the leader of a perplexing bunch of assholes in uniforms, performing strange rituals that involve all kinds of idiotic rules.

"Football" is Rooney's game. Only in America it's called soccer. In America only Brady plays "Football" and nobody know who Rooney is.

And yet, as ephemeral as "team" sports are...there's always a different team winning every year, it seems...there are enough drunken hooligans watching that a "star" player can make a fortune.

There are also so many sex-starved morons in the world...and fake, vain bitches...that a "super model" can make a fortune, too.

America has the wonderful combo of Tom Brady ($31 million a year) married to Gisele Bundchen ($47 million).

What do these maniacs do with their money? Build huge mansions. Enjoy wretched excess. Find ways to make more.

If they're going to be philanthropists, it's on somebody else's dime. As in: "Brady endorses this charity..." Or "Go to this fundraiser dinner and get a chance to meet and greet Bundchen, at $5,000 a seat."

I suppose what keeps us ordinary people going...is to think that we could make a fortune by doing next to nothing. It looks pretty easy...be surrounded by an entire TEAM making you look good and being told to protect you and always give you the ball...or simply sit around while a fleet of people paint you and dress you.

The irony is not just that ordinary, USEFUL people like doctors and teachers make nothing in comparison, but that people who don't have a TEAM on the field with them...boxers, golfers, tennis players...generally don't make anywhere near what some jerk who is part of a TEAM makes. You can haul down an incredibly good salary just by being on the same TEAM as Rooney or Brady. A few years, and you don't have to ever work again. Which helps if Rooney or Brady steps on your foot and breaks it.

EBAY CEO JOHN DONAHOE : THE RAPE OF AUTHORS, THE THEFT OF BOOKS

What do you call getting pleasure for while you're screwing someone without their consent?

I call it rape. So JOHN DONAHOE is a rapist.

He's also a fucking pig. Because he is such a rich son of a bitch he doesn't monitor his "just a venue" shit sty. Because unless somebody finds out where he lives and punches his fucking face for him, he's just not going to care how much of a shit sty EBAY is.

He makes sure that NOBODY at EBAY is responsible for anything. You can't call up and speak to a human. You can't e-mail a human. Ebay writes the rules. You can't be on the site unless you sign off to any fucking shit they put in their "terms of service."

That's how the Internet works, and how creeps like JOHN DONAHOE operate. What a rapist. What a thief.

Sellers on EBAY make Hans Demented look like Shirley Temple.

How about THIS bitch, who is happily bootlegging EVERY book she can get her dirty hands on? All she has to do is tell EBAY that she's the "copyright owner."

YES, that's all. "Hey, I own the rights to HARRY POTTER. I own the rights to EVERY BOOK EVER MADE," from Alice, Texas. Yes, you all know Alice, Texas, the hub of the publishing world.

Sam Kinison once said, "I don't endorse wife-beating. BUT I UNDERSTAND IT."

And I understand why there's such a thing as jihad. I understand why people blow up buildings.

Name your poison...The Black Panthers. FALN. Irish Republican Army. ISIS. Whatever the race or nationality, the message is the same: We are FED UP with THIS SHIT.

Can you imagine...if instead of some poor hapless guy like Foley, if the guy from ISIS had kidnapped JOHN DONAHOE? Or JEFF BEZOS? The CEO of EXXON? There just might be cheering in the streets. Because it would be telling the worst fat cats out there...YOU can be had. YOU can be raped. YOU can be killed. You're not so secure as you think, hiding behind your secretaries, and the monkeys you pay a minimum wage to guard the entrance to the compound.

EBAY is rife with sick, obnoxious abuse. "Ebay is just a venue," they sneer...meaning, if you're on there selling dope, or kiddie porn, or chloroform, or a guide to making a bomb, or Nazi memorabilia, or BOOTLEGS OF EBOOKS...nobody does a fucking thing. "You report it to us," they say. And maybe something will happen. Maybe not.

Some cunt in Alice, Texas "owns the copyright" to every book ever made. According to EBAY.

Is this PAPUA, 1814? DACHAU, 1944? IRAQ, 2014?

So what's going on? A conflagration? The destruction of a city? Some ancient puberty rights?

Oooh. It's FUN.

Yep, it's FUN TIME in the desert. In the old days, assholes would go to Las Vegas to gamble, listen to Sammy Davis Jr. or Wayne Newton, and whore around. Now? Now they assemble in the desert and set FIRE to a fucking EFFIGY.

Yeah, this is the "Burning Man" festival, which ended with a rousing success...the pointless destruction by fire of a giant straw GOD, or whatever you want to call it.

What's the fucking point? To me, it looks like "adults" in America wish they were pig-faced morons in Papua, or psycho Muslims in Iraq, or Nazis in Dachau...hell bent on DESTRUCTION.

We're talking about setting something on fire. I don't know that you can do that without toxic smoke. And without somehow conjuring up the idea of burning a witch or sending evil spirits to GET your ENEMY.

I don't mind the stupidity of fireworks. Aside from scaring animals, and occasionally blowing off the fingers or hands of idiots, a fireworks show once in a while can be a beautiful sight, and also a fairly harmless taste of what it's like to be in a fucking war zone. I mean, you can feel the powerful charges go off and literally pound against your chest.

I guess we'll just have to wait till a bunch of people get set on fire, or a set of bikers run rampant through some small town, or a bunch of hippie chicks get raped and murdered, or a bunch of jackasses shoot themselves in the midst of a bad trip on SHROOMS...before somebody says, "HEY, this is the fucking 21st CENTURY and we're supposed to be going forward with wonderful technology, not BACKWARD into idiot superstition and BURNING SHIT."

Kate vs Kim and Khloe Kardashian

You'd think Kate Middleton had enough when her baked boobs got broadcast to the world. "Do NOT go sunbathing topless even when you THINK you're BEYOND a TELEPHOTO LENS."

Now she flaunts her mum's advice...ALWAYS WEAR YOUR KNICKERS!!

The good thing about Kate being stupid is a) the view of a royal bum who isn't named Charles, is always pleasant, and b) it shows the contrast between the proper British backside, and the American ASS.

At least, for the moment, there's some kind of standard in beauty.

What a contrast between KATE and KIM AND KHLOE.

Interest in Kate's modest mounds shows that SOME people don't believe in MORE...to the point where a woman's backside looks like it's home to two hibernating bear cubs.

The London Daily Fail's Queer Dismissive Twits

One of the worst things about reading the London Daily Fail's website, aside from the inane reporting, misinformation, gruesome and stupid photos, and insulting choices of what's considered BREAKING NEWS...

...is the COMMENTS.

Specifically, the COMMENTS from what I call the "SENIORMOLE" element. These Lords of the Boot Sale, these Prime Ministers of Piffle and Kerfuffle, these Cuppa-obsessed Trivial Old Ladies in Men's Clothing...have nothing better to do than harrumph a tweedy word or two at practically EVERY article they glance at.

I say GLANCE at, because they are too opinionated to actually read or ponder anything.

Gilbert O'Sullivan once sang about a "dear permissive twit," but frankly, I don't mind the idiot bint, the Adele fan, the moronic cheese-faced harpie or the stereotypical Cockney dimwit. It's the queer dismissive twit who THINKS he's SO educated that irks me.

With low class biddies, surly chavs or fat-assed boorish drummers from Barton-Upon-Humber, you expect a "What's all this then," or "that sucks" or if it has anything to do with Angelina Jolie, the low, gossipy hiss: "NO BETTER THAN SHE SHOULD BE!"

But with SENIORMOLE types, usually males, there's arrogance behind the ignorance...because these utter fools actually believe they are sophisticated, well-read and RIGHT. Their most constant emotion is vague irritation, as if Putin or 9/11 or climate change is like a fly landing on the malt vinegar bottle at the chip shop. To SENIORMOLE, absolutely NOTHING matters beyond a cuppa and then going walkies, so whatever the news is, it's trivialized with a yawn and an irritatingly flippant bit of spit:

There's almost never an ounce of thought following "codswallop" or "cobblers" or "rubbish" or whatever the condescending word might be.

Why these people bother reading anything, when they are so set in their ways...I guess it's ONLY to be able to leave that COMMENT, and righteously give a nod of the head: "that settles THAT! I have SPOKEN! I wrote: CODSWALLOP!"

These are people who went through their entire boring, pointless lives with nose in the air, eyes wide shut, and never ever taking the chewing gum out of their ears. And so, in useless retirement, the only concession is that the nose that was once in the air, is now perpetually pointed downward in impatient disgust, and as the tongue clucks along, their soft fingers patter out "codswallop or "cobblers" or "rubbish." At best, they'll add: "this is all silliness," or "why hurl poo" or the mighty slam of "I have no time for this nonsense."

It doesn't matter if the article is the latest research study on health, a speech by a world leader, or a human interest story about some poor unfortunate person. The reaction is dismissal, denial, and disdain.

Unfortunately, these people have never had their humdrum routine shaken, and their brains are callused by their damnable complacency. Whether they sashay through Tesco, waddle their fat arses through a boot sale getting in everyone's way, or take to their slow bicycle and ride on the pavement, they are impervious to others. They'll say "codswallop" to any reasonable request, and even the most raging curse or threat would only get a maddening mutter of "rubbish!" They are confident they will never be slapped or punched, having spent their lives quietly pushing pencils, and making sure everything's stamped, filed, indexed and numbered. They are so irritatingly set in their ways you'd expect them to be growing moss on the backs of their legs.

They go from the cradle to the grave ignoring everything important, being petty about whatever concerns them personally, and showing a grand indifference to anyone else's feelings. Nothing shakes their world. They have, unfortunately, never experienced a trauma that gives them empathy for somebody else's suffering. They are comfortably cloaked in their own small-minded viewpoints. "Nothings gonna change my world" is their mantra. There isn't anything, from the plague of Ebola to a request to save water...from the news of a dying celebrity to a dietician's findings that cutting down on soda might be healthful...that can't be dismissed with one of three words:

CODSWALLOP, COBBLERS or RUBBISH.

Amber Rose is a classless dumbass monkey.

How many humans have any idea who this ugly cunt brain-dead media whore nobody-bitch is? Few. THAT is precisely why she went on Instagram to wobble her fat ass at the world. Now anyone who even casually surfs Internet news sites has stopped, nearly puked, and learned about the latest skank and the moron "star" who owns her.

Put it this way...Claudine Longet wouldn't have done it for Andy Williams.

Angie Dickinson wouldn't have done it for Burt Bacharach.

Linda McCartney wouldn't have done it for Paul.

Even David Furnish wouldn't have done it for Elton John.

BUTT...

...we're in a new age of scuzzy, low-class monkey behavior and barbaric, garish "entertainment."

So what better "tribute" can any woman give her man, except to shove her ass at the world and give 'em a bird's eye view of crotch? A view so vivid you can almost smell the muck of sewage at low tide.

I guess "WIZ KHALIFA" is the latest mumbling, snarling rap-jackass du jour. He's got the name for it. You can't be a "star" today unless you have a name that melds ISIS with SHIT. You know...let the world know you're a dirty motherfucker from da HOOD, but you is also a MUSLIM of some kind of other.

Oh, WIZ KHALIFA...what a fine looking man. The sunglasses. The lips that resemble a pair of savaloys past the expiration date. Hair that looks like it spilled from a rotten mattress.

And the bride? Who the hell is Amber Rose? Da ho' - dat's all. These rapper turdpiles, from Kanye on down the line, are so tasteless and stupid that their idea of a "trophy wife" is some bitch who looks like a crack whore from Compton. Or worse. Kim Kardashian? Amber Rose? We're talking about a kind of sub-human; a manatee that got washed up on the beach after a toxic oil spill.

The important thing is to have garish tattoos, an enormously ugly fat ass, or both.

And really, what's more of a tribute for any man, than to have his wife pull her underwear practically up her ass crack and show it to the WORLD?

As your neighborhood becomes infested with low class orangutans and other slobs, you'll see this in the street. You walk outside, and there's some mammy wailing like she's been shot. Only you look in disbelief: she's in her bra and panties, her big fat ass sticking out, looking like a St. Bernard bitch about to take a dump. Her impossibly saggy ass jowls seem to threaten an eruption from her bowels. And she's howling, "Mah man just got a promotion! He be promoted from riding da back of da garbage truck to drivin' da garbage truck! HOOOOO RAY! TWERK! TWERK! TWERK! YA'ALL!"

Something like that. This is how women are supposed to behave. You'll see it at hen parties, birthday gatherings, even bingo night. "I won! BINGO! TWERK...TWERK...TWERK...Look at my big fat ass! Look at how I'm acting like I'm gonna bomb da floor with turds! TWERK...TWERK...TWERK..."

What the bitches of the world need is a boot up the ass every time they bend over to TWERK.

This is the 21st Century...not BORNEO in 1814.

LIFE'S A CARTOON - CHINA BRAT NEARLY KILLS WORKER

One of the FUNNY things you can do when you see someone hanging from a rope...

...is grin and start sawing the rope. Ha ha ha.

No kidding. This IS funny if it's Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. It's not so funny if it's some hard-working guy cleaning windows...and a brat annoyed that the noise outside is interfering with the soundtrack of his TV cartoons.

How in the world does a ten-year-old get the fucking NERVE to cut into the rope of a window washer?? The kid's too young to realize SPLAT is fatal?

Maybe so. This kid's probably seen 10,000 people killed, dead or dying on TV or in his beloved CARTOONS and video games. Why should he care if HE kills someone? There are too many people in China anyway, as he knows every time he walks outside, and they all look alike, too.

Yeah, GLENN...and What Else?

Glenn Cornick just died. I recognized the name, of course. I knew he was in "Wild Turkey," which he had formed in some apparent moment of insane bravado just as "Jethro Tull" was nearing its height.

You know, something like...fuck THIS shit (something many have said about "Jethro Tull") I'm a big star now (he was only their bassist) so I'm forming a super group that'll give listeners the REAL DEAL.

The REAL DEAL was two albums, one I recall as pretty good, the other not. After that? WHAT ELSE?

The answer was not forthcoming on his "official" website. All that site seems to contain is memorabilia from his years with "Jethro Tull" (he left before the breakthrough "Aqualung" album...but "Stand Up" and "Benefit" had to be on anybody's list of great rock albums at the time).

There's also a page about his first wife, Judy, who luckily was a secretary for "Fleetwood Mac" and thus, had her funeral paid for by Mick Fleetwood when she died in 2005. Which means she was beloved...but not well paid?? That would explain why her estate didn't have enough money for the "classy" funeral Glenn hoped she'd have.

Anyway...among the stuff about Judy, there was this picture of Glenn's entire collection of wives.

Some people are proud of their knife collections...this guy was proud of his wife collection. But...aside from being on some prog rock albums nobody takes very seriously anymore...WHAT ELSE?

WHAT did this guy do as the 70's wheezed into the 80's and sneezed into the 90's and decayed into the 21st Century? Didn't he have ex-wives to support? Was he really making a fortune in royalties off Jethro fucking Tull albums??

The reality is that the rock business isn't that lucrative. Not unless you've written a lot of songs, get royalties from radio play, or you banked every sent from the few years you were popular. Otherwise, you've got to be a businessman of some kind, teach rock or songwriting, deal drugs...who knows what. The guy was living in Hawaii which is NOT known to be a cheap place to dwell. So...WHAT ELSE? I gave up trying to find out after going to his website, Wikipedia and a few other Internet snot-spots.

One of the things about show biz is the "mystique" of it. In other words, the phoniness. The bullshit. The smoke and mirrors. Unless you're a bitter comedian, or some cunt trying to justify the overdose that got you back onto the gossip pages, you're not likely to admit to the world, "I have a day job" or explain what it is. No, instead, you fool young people into dropping out and thinking they only need a hit record to be set for life...or a few years of touring. You fool yourself and your neighbors by pretending royalty checks are paying the rent and that your "current gig" (whatever the fuck it is) is just as a favor, or a kick. "Oh, I teach grubby fat-faced students because I really enjoy it...oh, I'm working as an accountant because my brother-in-law needed a partner and I thought it would be fun."

Ex-bassist for "Jethro Tull" and WHAT ELSE? Maybe we're better off not knowing.

"High as Fuck" Stupid Ass Shit - Anna Kendrick, Sarah Silverman

Somehow, I missed "High as Fuck" as being the newwww kewwwwwl terrrm among dewwwwds and laydeeeeees who have laydeeee parts.

Just when it seems the English language can't get any more dumbed down (or outright ignored by immigrants) up comes a new insult.

"High as Fuck." Really? You can't think of anything more creative? It's "Stupid as Shit."

I don't watch the Emmy Awards...because I don't watch shit TV and pretend it's brilliant. It's the same self-centered actors, the same pretentious writers, and the same incompetent directors (veering their camera from one face to another) whether it's CSI, or HBO, or CSI, or CSI, or CSI.

But I did happen to notice the news that Sarah Silverman, who has made a career out of girlishly uninhibited blabs about her joy of sex and drugs, won an award. And she had a "vape" pen with pot in it. And she gave some typically half-inane half-satiric ramble that made her seem...all together now..."HIGH AS FUCK."

And so that's what a non-entity I never heard of Tweeted:

I had no idea this was the brilliant catch-phrase du jour, but it's even the title of a forgettable song some dewwwwwd has recorded. And a more stupid face you won't find on a goat, living or dead. I'm sure some chicks think he's so sensitive about being...HIGH AS FUCK...

We're living in an age where stupid kiddie-words like GOOGLE and BING and EBAY are spoken like they are a religion. And they are. We're living in a time when some literal asshole squatting and acting like she's either shitting or desperate for sex like a rabid hyena, or fucking herself on a fire hydrant, is admired for "twerking."

Years ago when I was in college, the professors grumbled that the students were...DUMB. That each new class was DUMBER than the last...unable to read anything but comic books, uninterested in any film made in black and white, and totally clueless about anything that happened before 1964 (uh, "The Beatles" on the Sullivan show, prof??)

They were right. I'm far dumber than a student in 1920 or 1940 or 1960...a student that had to take Latin, and was expected to know the difference between Plato and Aristotle, and actually read "Madame Bovary" and knew how to pronounce Rodin.

Just why each generation has become dumber and dumber, I'm not sure. But I think it has something to do with how easy it is to spend one's time...HIGH AS FUCK.

LeAnn Rimes Raped by the Asshole PC POLICE. FUCK YOU TROLLS!

When I read that LeAnn Rimes had told tasteless rape jokes...

...I thought she'd told tasteless rape jokes. SHE HADN'T.

And here I was, ready to hear a good tasteless rape joke! Why not? There's a time and a place for most every kind of sick joke. George Carlin would agree, but more on him, and on rape humor, in a minute.

Look, assholes and cunts of the world, "rape" is not a taboo word. Stop gasping and clucking if it's used by somebody other than a stern newscaster reporting on a crime.

Christ, what a NON-STORY. It happened on a Joan Rivers show, fer Chrisssake. If there's EVER a place to relax, lower the inhibitions, and be frank and adult...it's opposite JOAN RIVERS.

Naturally this idiot story has to quote social media retards. (Excuse me, Down Syndrome-types!)

Quoting a few uptight trolls means that the world is outraged over something LeAnn Rimes says? Who the fuck even CARES that much about Leann Rimes in the first place?

I sure as hell don't. I don't know the bitch from Carrie Underwood. Or Trisha Yearwood. Or a piece of wood.

The fact that a woman can make a rape remark...that in itself tends to mean IT'S OK.

And again, it wasn't even a "rape joke."

George Carlin rightly said that it's bullshit to insist rape can't be funny. "It can't?" snarled George. "Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd!"

Now if you want an example of a real "rape joke" that IS offensive, I've got one for you. There was a weatherman on ABC's local affiliate in New York named Tex Antoine. No, he didn't have a Southern accent. He was actually sort of effete, with a professorial kind of delivery. Delivering the weather was a boring job, and after 20 or more years, the guy was apparently prone to having a few drinks before he went on the air.

Which doesn't excuse what he said.

His segment came up following a news report about a rape. Antoine ad-libbed an atrocious segue into his weather report, by saying, "Confucius say...if rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it!"

Maybe that would've been ok in a nightclub, coming from the mouth of a bawdy old bag comedienne like Belle Barth, but it certainly was NOT, in ANY way, an acceptable thing to say on a newscast. It was the end of Tex Antoine.

The Tex Antoine anecdote is an example of tastelessness. What LeAnn Rimes said was just adult conversation...and too bad some childish, petulant, sour, stupid trollish idiots made a big thing out of it.

Yo, Black People...Learn to SPELL

The second-most annoying thing about some Black moron converting to Islam and going off to kill anyone who isn't a fucking Muslim...is his STUPID NAME.

Most everyone around the world knows the famous American General Douglas MacArthur.

Except, apparently, the idiot McCains who named their crappy baby "Douglas McAuthur McCain."

The most famous example of black illiteracy is OPRAH Winfrey...who was supposed to have been given the Biblical first name ORPAH. But...literacy being what it is. It is what it is. Know wuttum sayin'?

The good news is that OPRAH is not only catchy, but turned out to be HARPO spelled backward.

Now you know why Blacks tend to come up with totally insane names that sound like prescription medicine. Trayvon. Tavis.

They do it because the risk of embarrassment if they pick a name they can't spell!

MARK DAVID CHAPMAN SHOULD BE EXECUTED - Make THAT a Campaign Issue

He should be DEAD.

Enough of this shit. Every fucking two years this obnoxious egomaniac starts bragging about himself and shoveling all that nauseating "Love of God" manure...

Yeah, like most every evil murderer, including "Son of Sam," this bastard claims to have "found religion." Very convenient. He's religious like the guys in HAMAS and ISIS are.

What he does at these parole hearings is to talk up how important he is ("you'd be surprised," he tells everyone, how many famous people love him and want to help him or pay for an interview).

Then he pretends that he's such a God-loving man, he's not worried about being hunted down if he's released.

Then, to keep up the conjugal visits (HE gets to have pleasure while John Lennon is ashes), he makes sure to repeat that his ugly fat Hawaiian piece of shit cunt-wife was totally INNOCENT of EVERYTHING.

"She didn't have a clue. I told her I was coming to New York to write a book, a children's book, and that I kind of needed space to find myself and she believed me. She really did. I think if she would have thought otherwise she would have stopped somebody or called somebody. I was very convincing...It was a serious, well thought out crime... No question about it."

As for the little matter of shooting John Lennon in the back five times?

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot and choosing the wrong way for glory."

Oh well, as Seniormole or Lord of the Boot Sale might say, "let's forget about this kerfuffle. It's silly." Besides, we still have John's music. Let bygones be bygones. Take the dog for walkies, listen to "Imagine," and let that Chapman fellow get on with his life. He won't spoil anyone's fun..

I say -- KILL MARK DAVID CHAPMAN. It is not too late for justice.

There's a weirdo conservative idiot running for governor in New York State named (and could I kid about this) ASTORINO. Yes, pronounce it like a Little Italy nickname for an asshole: ASS-to-REENO.

He has ZERO chance of being elected...UNLESS...his campaign issue is: "I WILL FRY MARK DAVID CHAPMAN."

I swear, I would vote for him.

So would HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS...because the man who killed John Lennon is not innocent. It was premeditated. END OF STORY and it should be the END OF CHAPMAN.

The Death Penalty critics whine that an innocent man might die. OK, only use it for those who are obviously guilty. The Death Penalty critics whine that it's cruel and inhuman. Oh? It's better to can somebody in prison for 23 of 24 hours a day...and torment the family of the victim(s) by making them go to parole hearings every 2 fucking years?

Lastly, aside from the governor of New York, it's probably likely that one of the other assholes who hold political office...New York's dumb-cunt Senator Gillebrand bitch (the one who has a staff that ignores e-mails) might find some reason to justify her existence. The Prez himself might have some power...and if not, his orange-faced nemesis John Boehner might. Put it this way, whoever can swing it (literally HANG this fucking CHAPMAN) would be overwhelmingly applauded for it.

How about a KICKSTARTER campaign to make Chapman KICK THE BUCKET? Where's the Internet petition on this?

Anyone want to hear from CHAPMAN again in 2016? Anyone want to even THINK about this bastard chomping his chow three times a day, and banging his Hawaiian pineapple when she waddles her fat ass to upstate New York?

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. MARK DAVID CHAPMAN SHOULD BE DEAD.

Joanna Krupa...fuck YOU-pa

No, I do NOT know who the fuck JOANNA KRUPA is. I can't keep up with every airhead bimbo shit-for-brains in a bikini.

Like every media-whore in the world, all she wanted to do was get in on this boring, boring "Ice Bucket Challenge" bullshit. Yawwwwwwn.

The deal now, is whether you think ALS research involves animal cruety or not (Pam Anderson says it DOES), and whether you think it's sinful to waste clean water (Matt Damon just doused himself in toilet water...really...he did), the IMPORTANT thing is GET YOUR FUCKING FACE ON TV and in PRINT and ON THE NET.

Don't let the chance go by to LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE, which is what you look like when you dump a pale of water over your own head.

"LOOK AT ME! I'm dumping a pail of water on my head! LOOK, EVERYONE!"

You know what would raise BILLIONS of dollars for ALS research? Enough to also find a fucking cure for HIV, HEP C, Ulcerative Colitis, Dandruff and the Common Cold?

HIT JOANNA KRUPA WITH A BUCKET OF SHIT.

Tell me there isn't somebody out there who wouldn't love to dump a bucket of shit on this bitch.

Now raise the ante. TWO MILLION to dump A GALLON OF RANCID URINE on ROGER WATERS.

Now raise the ante. FIVE MILLION to stick Peter Gabriel's head up an elephant's ass.

Now raise the ante. TEN MILLION to shove Russell Brand up an elephant's ass.

Now raise the ante. TWENTY MILLION to stick Viley Virus's head into a broken toilet in Fulham Broadway Station while inserting a plumber's helper up her twerking behind.

Now raise the ante. FIFTY MILLION to throw Kim Kardashian into a cesspool and lock it and throw away the key.

That kind of thing.

This self-preening, idiot-simple condescendingly gratuitous fake-hysterical nonsense of a celebrity getting her hair wet and going BRRRR that was COLD....should NOT be worth ANYONE'S ATTENTION ANYMORE.

Get hit with a bucket of shit, Justin Bieber. It's what the world needs now.

Pigmouth Roger Waters Lies Again: The World Would be Better if he was SHOT DEAD

Can I put it plainer?

I don't think I can. The world would be a better place of ROGER WATERS WAS SHOT DEAD.

I mean really dead. SHOT THROUGH THE HEAD DEAD. Decapitated dead. So dead you could stomp on his fucking face and NOT hear one little stinking bit of "The Wall."

I mean, KICK THE BUCKET CHALLENGE DEAD.

I mean, DEAD, DEAD, FUCKING DEAD. So dead he couldn't laugh about Syd Barrett no longer getting royalties.

But don't confuse me for a terrorist. I'm not HAMAS.

I'm just a dreamer. I'm DREAMING of a better world...with ROGER WATERS SHOT DEAD.

By who? By a PINK FLOYD FAN, ideally. By a Palestinian. By "JOHN" the ISIS/BEATLE. By someone who felt that ROGER WATERS wasn't doing ENOUGH to get Jews killed.

You know that Mark David fucking Chapman didn't think John Lennon was doing enough in the world. Not enough to suit Mark David fucking Chapman. John was being a "phony." That's the word Chapman copped from Holden Caulfield, who kept muttering about "phonies" as the lead character of "Catcher in the Rye." So maggot-mind Chapman somehow related it to Lennon.

Well, there are crazies in the world, Roger, crazier than YOU, and maybe you will be killed by one. It won't be one you will meet face to face. You'll never see the bullet that turned your brain into Bird's dessert. It will have come from the back, like Lennon got it.

SHOT FROM BEHIND. SHOT DEAD. What a lovely headline to dream upon. One of the most virulent, anti-Israel anti-Semitic "stars" on the planet...SHOT DEAD. SHOT DEAD...by some hot-headed Hamas-hole who didn't think you were doing ENOUGH for the cause.

After all, despite your rhetoric, America isn't in flames. Jews aren't being marched to crematoriums. You only get to snicker and nod in delight when reading that Jewish store owners have had their windows broken and their shops ransacked, the Jewish children as far off as in Australia have been terrified and traumatized by hooligans. Dead Jews don't lie in peace because their tombstones are pushed over and spray-painted by Banksy-fans with Swastikas.

And you aren't doing enough. Coming up with insane rhetoric, to this VERY DAY, isn't enough, Rog.

I mean, come on, skeleton-faced fucko, your poisonous mind can think up even worse things than THIS abomination:

MORAL PERVERSITY...

Come on, Rog, you can be more inflammatory than that. The Hamas people, the ISIS people are watching. They like to decapitate people. They like to fire missiles at children (really, they do, it's not just Kikes in Israel who do it, or so you claim). They will SHOOT YOU DEAD if you don't ramp up the rhetoric just a TAD more.

MORAL PERVERSITY....

The average asshole of a Pink Floyd fan is only going to instantly get the idea Americans are a bunch of poofters. Or buggerers. Or people who don't wear clean knickers...on purpose.

Do better next time, and I'm sure there WILL be a next time, because you can't keep your filthy mouth shut.

You want more close-up pictures of yourself in the papers...where you look like a raving homeless lunatic.

You want more attention so your back-catalog of all the awful music you made after Syd Barrett can continue to give you a royal lifestyle.

Wild haired, wild eyed, needing a shave...you DO look like a madman who should be put to death.

Yes, you preach death.

Yes, you recklessly create headlines accusing AMERICA AND ISRAEL OF "MORAL PERVERSITY" while shrugging about Syria, Nigeria, Somalia and everyplace else. So remember, YOU COULD BE SHOT DEAD if you don't appease your beloved Palestinian psychopaths. Keep ramping it up. Keep outdoing yourself in being the most famous anti-Semitic rock star the world has ever seen.

Keep making PINK FLOYD synonymous with KILL JEWS.

PS, you're not yet a Muslim convert...and that's a bad mistake, Roger old boy.

When they come raging toward you from the nearest mosque, you better have a KORAN in your hand, and you better pledge your Stink Floyd royalties to ALLAH, because you look MIGHTY WHITE. And your name is VERY, VERY suspect. "Roger Waters." That's no Muslim name. That alone is a reason to SHOOT YOU DEAD.

Now, "Salon" com as the name implies, is a fruity place. It's a beauty salon where creepy pseudo-Adonis sociopathic egotists like ROGER WATERS can get their photo taken and splashed on a web page.

The wimps of SALON.COM live far away from gunfire and oozing blood...so these pussy-esque males who meander about the office like drones at the hive, can sip their latte while they primp and posture about Palestine, and quote and re-quote ROGER WATERS...and have the nerve...the fucking NERVE...to snigger about America's...

MORAL PERVERSITY.

Yes, SALON.COM fawns over a drug-addled lunatic they consider a political pundit and an intellectual...and encourage him to write a reckless piece declaring an entire country to be guilty of MORAL PERVERSITY.

Why don't you move your offices to GAZA, SALON.COM. Show the courage of Roger's convictions. Tell the world that unlike perverted America...YOU guys stand on exalted moral ground, the kind that ALLAH rewards with virgin goats.

Why not just give over your website to ROGER WATERS and make him the editor? You look to him to save your asses and get you the "hits" you need to prove that you're a popular website, right up there with Al Qaeda's news site.

Should I even bother to quote more of Roger's muddy swill? Oh, maybe a little...

After the attention-grabbing header about MORAL PERVERSITY in America, Roger inserts a paragraph where he once again insists he's not anti-Semitic, and is, of course, SO deeply concerned with other international issues (that he never happened to ever mention over the years). Need a laugh?

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa:

Drivel, drivel, shriveled star. Shall I tell you what you are?

You are a Nazi.

Notice how quickly Roger dodged from claiming to be humane...to urging that boycott against ISRAEL alone. By all means...buy from Russia. From Saudi Arabia and all the Middle-Eastern countries that rape women and treat them like shit. Buy from India where gang-rape is a national pastime. Buy from NORTH KOREA and RUSSIA.

Roger's version of PINK FLOYD would happily play a gig for the leaders of BOKO HARAM. But import a fucking Jaffa orange from Israel? Encourage Israel...the country that has given the entire world important advances in medicine and technology? Never! Starve them. Take away their weapons. Leave them helpless and begging for mercy from people who have vowed to wipe them off the face of the Earth and to murder Jews everywhere they run to.

In ROGER WATERS' WORLD...Palestine and Arabs are 100% right. And Jews are 100% wrong...and while genocide and apartheid thrive in countries all over the world...most especially in Arab countries that won't even allow a Jew to come and play in a tennis tournament...ROGER WATERS declares ONE country to boycott.

King Roger the Merciless.

Roger Waters, you are the scrawny, skeletal Halloween replica of The Grim Reaper...symbolic to everyone of "Kill the Jews." Anyplace you go, your presence screams "KILL THE JEWS! KILL THE JEWS! KILL THE JEWS!"

You're like the walking Red Death. You expect to continue to flounce across the free countries...England, Germany (most especially) and the rest...spreading your AIDS-like words that pronounce a death sentence for Israel and for the Jewish people. Obama is your Prince Prospero...you only wish you could touch him with your bony hands and have him drop and turn to dust.

Is it that much of a surprise that some dream of a better world...where ROGER WATERS IS SHOT DEAD...and by a Palestinian who felt ROGER WATERS wasn't doing enough?

After all, ROGER WATERS is not yet up there with HIMMLER or ROMMEL or MENGELE as a leading disciple of Hitler.

He's getting there, with this latest headline about "MORAL PERVERSITY" of Americans and American leadership.

He just needs to keep the image of mindless drugged out Pink Floyd fans in his head...the ones screaming "WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION." That's the kind of thing that keeps the hemorrhoids crackling like hot chestnuts in Roger's fevered anus...it keeps him ranting his intellectual diarrhea.

Lastly, THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER IF ROGER WATERS WAS SHOT DEAD, because not only does he write pompous drivel, he also spews doggerel, including THIS awfully ripe (to the point of being ROTTEN) poem:

Crystal clear brooks

When the time comes

And the last day dawns

And the air of the piper warms

The high crags of the old country

When the holy writ blows

Like burned paper away

And wise men concede

That there’s more than one way

More than one path

More than one book

More than one fisherman

More than one hook

When the cats have been skinned

And the fish have been hooked

When the masters of war

Are our masters no more

When old friends take their whiskey

Outside on the porch

We will have done well

If we’re able to say

As the sun settles down

On that final day

That we never gave in

That we did all we could

So the kids could go fishing

In crystal clear brooks.

* * * *

ROGER WATERS...if there's anything you like better than the concept of crystal clear brooks...it's a red sea of Jewish blood that you can splash in, while hugging that giant floating inflatable PIG with the Star of David on it.

ALLAH CURSES you BURNING MAN heathens!

Welcome to the 21st Century of Superstition and Bullshit!

Just remember, some VOODOO only works for people WHO DO!

HA ha ha HAAAAAAAAA you fucking Reno, Nevada brain-fried dipshits!

Let me put it this way, Wicker Man assholes...acting like a bunch of savages, getting stoned, working yourselves up with a RITUAL BY FIRE while hoping to get laid afterward...YOU LOSE, LOSERS.

See what ALLAH did to your desert? YOU PUNY PEOPLE...you don't KNOW what a REAL DESERT IS! It's a place to sunbake your brains till there's no logic left and you just run screaming all over the place, dressed in ridiculous rags, waving a sword you got out of J. Arthur Rank's prop room.

ALLAH PISSED ON YOUR DESERT! YOU BET HE DID! No, seriously. Mud! Mud! GLORIOUS MUD! It's a TRIUMPH FOR ALLAH! It's a sign from the very heavens! PISS ON YOU, YOU ROTTEN SWINE!

Do you know why? Because BURNING MAN is crazy-ass ritual idiocy!

This is NOT the way to be backward! This is NOT the way to turn against the modern age of reason, and the benefits of SCIENCE and TECHNOLOGY.

For that, you must look to the East...the MIDDLE EAST...you must wash your feet ten times a day (while the rest of you smells like camel dung) and scream toward Mecca with the magic words: ALLAH OLLY OXEN ALL HOME FREE!

Or something like that.

We are terrified that there is nothing out there but Simon Cowell boy bands. And so we turn inward toward RELIGIOUS FANATICISM! We have perfected the art of delusion!

Don't you know that worship of a giant BURNING MAN is a heathen thing to do? Compared to BOKO HARAM? Compared to ISIS? Compared to HAMAS? Compared to MUSLIM RITUALS ALL OVER THE GLOBE?

This is why the all great and powerful OZ...er, ALLAH...made a big muddy shitty mess of your silly BURNING MAN site!

You silly twisted WHITE people! Your mothers have had sex with hamsters, while your fathers smelled of elderberries.

You have misused FIRE, which we've only recently discovered. It's for lighting ovens and cremating Jews...not for your hash pipes and doobies and your fucking WICKER GIANT STATUE OF EDWARD WOODWARD or whoever that guy is. We know it isn't Mohamed. It doesn't look like him. We don't know WHAT he looks like, but that's not him, because if you DID create an effigy of HIM that would be the LAST STRAW!

ALLAH OLLY OXEN ALL HOME FREE! You tell that to Cameron! YOU TELL THAT TO OBAMA! You people are just mildly nuts...but INSANITY RULES!

PS, if you're a Shi'ite and not a Sunni, we will behead you. Or is it the other way around? NOBODY expects a SUNNI instead of a Shi'ite. No. That's not it. Give me a minute. Yes...ALL HAIL THE NORWEGIAN BLUE! No...that can't be right. Allah is definitely NOT a Norwegian. Nor a poofter. Definitely doesn't wear one of those strange Australian hats with the dingleberries hanging off.

Listen, we haven't heard from PAUL yet...PAUL of the "Fab Faux Terrorists." He'll let us know exactly what's going on. In the meantime, don't sing HELTER SKELTER, don't pray to false idols or American Idols or anyone from Britain's Got Talent, and don't even MENTION that fucking Weird Allah Yankovic.

Er, some old British dinosaur died (Richard Attenborough - and USA fame)

Yes, there's plenty of disgust to be found on the obit page.

It's not just the reminder that death is inevitable...but that your lasting achievements haven't lasted. Or the achievements of somebody you respected have been dismissed in a paragraph or two.

I've grown accustomed to the farce...of people I care about and/or people better known outside the USA, being humiliated via a small news item that focuses on something trivial but...it's STILL annoying to see THIS...

Yes, even in death, you've got to appeal to the great unwashed, the stupidest of the stupid, and of course, the YOUNGEST of the young. Hey kids, we know you have the attention span of a gnat...but maybe if we tell you that Richard Attenborough was the old geezer in your favorite action picture JURASSIC PARK...

Nice try. I've seen this ALL over the place, not just creepy TMZ (where the death of distinguished actors competes with wardrobe malfunctions on brainless bimbos).

Almost all the general news item references to Attenborough have started with JURASSIC PARK. An exception of course was on the obit page of the NY Times: "Richard Attenborough, Actor, Director and Giant of British Film, Dies at 90."

The Times I guess can afford to skip the JURASSIC PARK reference, as they make decent money as the world's only real reference newspaper, with "all the news that's fit to print." But everywhere else, where there's tabloid competition and everyone scuffling for a buck and a dime? JURASSIC PARK is the lead. And maybe that's it, too. Mention he died and go on to the VMA and EMMY award show results.

There's an age gap here, of course. If you've been on the planet for more than a generation or two...FUCK OFF. Go join Dickie. YOU are not our prime audience because YOU have enough taste NOT to buy everything that's advertised. So we're not interested in whether you visit our website or buy our newspaper. It's fortunate for Attenborough that Bieber didn't throw an egg the other day...otherwise there might not have been room for him at all at TMZ and some of the other "entertainment" sources of info.

And since there's a cultural gap, the fact that an ACADEMY AWARD WINNING DIRECTOR died...nah, that doesn't cut it. The kids never heard of the actual GANDHI, much less a movie about him.

I'll confess to a cultural/age gap in reverse. I don't have time for stupid shit, mostly because I have more than enough stupid shit as it is. I'm going to waste 2 hours on a special effects movie, sitting in a popcorn-smelly theater surrounded by shrieking brats? No. So I didn't see this fucking "Jurassic Park" movie. I saw "Gorgo." I saw the original "Godzilla." Giant dinosaurs running around...not a high priority for me.

Another thing about obits is that they are written by robots. They are written by stat-o-matic morons. "He did THAT, and then he did THIS...and after this TRIUMPH he had a lull with THAT, and then he bounced back with THIS, and stumbled with THAT..." dismissing a life like it was a tennis game.

For me, Attenborough was a unique star the very FIRST time I saw him. Not being British, this wasn't in any of his early movies, such as "Brighton Rock," but "The Great Escape." Now, "The Great Escape" had an ensemble cast, and a rich and varied one. For an impressionable boy, there were plenty of heroes to choose from, and a lot of memorable personalities on display. First and foremost was...not...Attenborough. It was Steve McQueen, for a lot of reasons I need not go into. The late James Garner was in there, too. The prisoners included Americans, Canadians (I think), and I somehow recall James Coburn pretending to be an Aussie. The Brits were the brains of the plot, and the leader of "The Great Escape" was actually played by Attenborough, and this little man commanded instant respect. He was fascinating to me. He was a leader. He didn't look like one, but he sure acted like one. One of the most vivid scenes in the film was the look on his face when he realized what fate, and the Nazis, had in store for him. It may have been one of my first encounters with the cruel side of reality...that not everything works out and not everyone can be trusted.

Frankly, a lot of Attenborough's movies were either too highbrow, or too serious, or didn't make it over the pond. When I was in college, I booked the films to be shown each week. We had a small budget so I usually had to buy older movies or more obscure ones that the rental companies couldn't charge $500 a night for. Since this WAS college, and anti-war movies were always a good bet, I booked, "Oh, What a Lovely War." Attenborough directed it. I remembered it as being a good movie. Well...people began walking out within the first five minutes. They hated it. Didn't get it. Even with the title as a fucking clue, they didn't understand this was a satire of some kind...and as I stood around in frustration...I wished I could yell out, "Assholes...you got in FREE...fuckin' WAIT and see what happens at the end of this merry-go-round bit...you just GOT here you jerks...you're leaving to go smoke some DOOBIES?"

Nice bit of directing there, but half the seats were empty.

Too British? Certainly a lot of his stuff never even appeared over here. "10 Rillington Place," was an item I had to track down on video because it was so unknown. I hadn't seen Attenborough the actor in a while...and here he was, in a tour-de-force as one of the creepiest and unpleasant of villains. No Anthony Perkins or Anthony Hopkins here. THIS was a villain nobody would want to emulate on Halloween. And on he went, directing many many films, acting less...and no doubt being revered in Great Britain as he slowly disappeared with family tragedies and old age's nuisances, while his nature-lovin' brother continued on with his parody-able enthusiasm for creatures great and small. I mean, I can do a very good impersonation of David...but not Richard.

So there you are and there you aren't, Sir Richard. Or Lord Richard. Whatever odd title they gave you for being royal without having been born royal.

As a general news item, it was THIS was the guy who unleashed the dinosaurs in "Jurassic Park." Thanks. Nice going.

Going. Gone. It's good he was remembered. It was better when he was alive, and it would've been a tribute if more of the news about him showed respect for his real achievements. But that's asking a lot in this Viley world.

Sticky Nikki Minaj - a Bitch in Heat at the VMA's

What do you do with a bitch in heat?

You could throw water on her.

You could put her down for acting so fucking rabid.

But when she shakes her ass and spreads her legs SO wide you can almost SMELL it...

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Then everybody should shout "Three Cheers for Nikki Minaj! You go, girl! You be a STAR!"

At one time this was porn. Now it's just a typical performance at a music awards show on television.

"Daughter...one day YOU can be JUST like NIKKI..."

VMA Party Slut MEGAN HAWKINS has BRAIN SURGERY

Hooray...look at that dopey smile...MEGAN is SAVED!

Have you EVER known a woman named MEGAN or MEEGAN to have any brains at all?

To LOOK intelligent?

Megan Hawkins, some kind of "model," happily found herself at a "private party" loaded with Niggas. Playaz. Gangstaz.

She got shot in the ass. I know...that's where her brains are. This could seriously have impacted her ability to spell seriously as "srsly."

Fortunately, the pix tell the story. The brain surgery on her ass was successful, and MEGAN will be twerking in no time, and prancing around with the Niggas and Playaz and Gangstaz.

Lah-deeeeeeeee-dah, Megan! PS, can you open that yap of yours any WIDER?

Amazon's scummy JEFF BEZOS is one SON OF A TWITCH

Congrats, bozo BEZOS, you bought TWITCH from under the sniffy, drippy nose of Der Fuhrer Eric Schmidt of GOOGLE UBER ALLES.

It cost nearly a BILLION DOLLARS. But hell, you and Google...you couldn't just create a fucking "streaming" website of some kind. You just rooted around in your pocket, came up with a trifling amount...and BOUGHT this piece of shit nobody ever heard of...

Another WIN for Fascist Bastard BOZO BEZOS.

May I remind you that he's the guy who upped the minimum on free shipping from $25 to $35?

What was the excuse? That Amazon was BARELY BREAKING EVEN?

You want to buy two CDs? Better make it THREE.

This is the same BOZO BEZOS who is playing hardball with book publishers and movie companies...extorting them and kicking their ass...refusing to stock their product unless they lower their prices. See, poor Jeff is barely scraping by. He can barely afford to throw a BILLION DOLLARS at some fucking streaming-game site.

This is the same BOZO BEZOS who thinks that authors should NOT be allowed to get more than fifty cents or maybe a buck per eBook download. As if the average book sells even 10,000 copies. As if a book only takes a month or two to write.

This is the same BOZO BEZOS who conspires to make sure mp3 files are at rock bottom prices, too...because singers and songwriters should make pennies and give almost ALL the profits to HIM...so he can toss a BILLION dollars at a few geeks who run a site for "gamers."

I have a dream. Like Martin Luther King, my dream is about the oppressed. It's about the COPYRIGHT OWNER, the NIGGER OF THE WORLD.

Only my dream isn't exactly non-violent. I dream that a lucky copyright owner is given a BILLION DOLLARS, and...AND...an hour to kick the shit out of Jeff Bezos and leave the boot so far up his fucking ass the shoelaces come out his nose.

A cunt named KOK: Become an even more famous model by shoplifting

Does this tall stupid bitch seem like she has any brains?

She doesn't need them. She's PRETTY. So she can be pretty stupid, and get caught stealing...and it's just good publicity.

Ms. KOK comes to court like it's a cocktail party. She stands around like a flamingo, gawks at the reporters and the judge, lets her lawyer do all the talking...and hooray hooray, she's FAMOUS. All people will say is "Oooh, look at that LONG KOK!"

Really, have YOU ever seen a KOK like that?

All you have to do is pout, blink and look stupid. WOW.

Her lawyer is very smart. He decided not to shave. He figured looking like Ratso Rizzo could only help give more attention to that oversized KOK.

Some defendants look ashamed. Or at least embarrassed. Let's be HONEST about being CRIMINAL...when you slip candy bars and a pricey little container of fish oil into your pocket or purse...it's because you're STEALING.

It is NOT because you don't have the brains to use the free shopping basket.

The lawyer here is figuring to go with the old, "She doesn't have any brains" defense..."Oh, she absent-mindedly put all that stuff in her pocket, and IF she walked out the door with the items...why, eventually she would've remembered and returned and paid for them."

Meanwhile, KOK played to all the cameras, made sure to wear something even a Victoria's Secret model might feel cheap wearing, and...well, gee, we're ALL gonna be waiting for her to sashay into court yet again, in a DIFFERENT OUTFIT. And oh, judge, if you SLAP HER ON THE WRIST, can I watch? CAN I? CAN I?

OK, Try not to Laugh. ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE DEATH

Dennis Miller, the ex-American comedian (he's still American, he just isn't funny anymore), once remarked about pedophiles. He said, "Shoot YOURSELVES. Take one for the team! THIN THE HERD!"

It wasn't the funniest thing he ever said, but if it's said it effeminately, people would've said he was a genius right up there with comedian and booky-wook author Russell brand.

The point is, creeps should not be alive (see: Sloot, Van Der).

And...idiots? Mmmm, that's a tough call. But if you're stupid, and YOU die and don't take anyone else with you...that's not too bad.

So a stupid kid decided to jump into icy water, and he drowned.

Feel bad for him? Good for you. But I'm not you. So I don't.

What this dummy wanted was to call attention to himself, and in that regard, he's a success.

Aw, maybe it would've been an even better story if he just broke his neck and was in a cast from the waist down. He could then go on TV and say, "Donate to the ALS. They do stem cell research. So anyone with ALS or paralysis maybe one day will walk again...and in my case, be able to go ahead and do something else moronic."

With hot dog eating contests gone after July 4th, the "Ice Bucket Challenge" is just about the only remaining activity for utter assholes to grin and laugh about this summer. Come on everyone...when it gets to be October, November...it'll actually start getting too chilly for this inane pranking. You might have to just tell everyone, "Hey, I'm writing out a check to ALS," and who'll pay attention if you do THAT?

Demented Dutch Douchebag Threatens Judge: Van der Sloot Slob

If anyone out there knows a big dumb Dutchman who isn't a selfish son of a bitch...you are an EXCEPTION.

Every DUTCHMAN I've ever heard of or encountered...has been a sociopathic monster.

And that list encludes Van der Slut. Van Der Slot. Van Der Sloth. However he pronounces his stupid name.

Want a second opinion?

He's ugly, too.

Probably the most disturbing thing about Foley being beheaded by a British asshole who joined ISIS...is that it DIDN'T happen to Van Der Sloot. It would've made ISIS seem like heroes. Hey, ISIS, storm a fucking jail in PERU, and slice the head off Van Der Sloot. That's the way to change public opinion!

This guy should've been executed a long time ago. Instead, he got conjugal visits with some brainless chihuahua bitch, and there will be a NEW SLOOT in the world. The little whore probably is going to drive to whatever remote jail they stash this bastard in, and Dutch-treat him to more sex so she can breed even more monsters. Peru is paying welfare for it? Or is the money coming from filthy rich Van Der Sloot's rotten family?

Van Der Sloot belongs in a Dutch Oven. Turn on the gas...

KKK Kardashian Sisters Dis Slain Black MICHAEL BROWN. Only care about BLACK COCK

Look, let's be honest about it.

The Kardashian Sisters and the rest of that clan are like THE CLAN. They don't think of blacks as equals. As humans. To Kim and her sisters, black guys have big dicks and lots of money. That's all. That's the attraction.

They marry BIG DICK BLACK CELEBRITIES...sports stars and rappers.

Want to deny it? Don't be ridiculous. KIM KARDASHIAN AND HER SISTERS ARE RACIST "SIZE QUEENS" WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT BIG BLACK DICKS AND BIG BLACK WALLETS.

So why the fuss when the sisters all took to their cells and ignored the moment of silence for Michael Brown?

WHO the fuck is MICHAEL BROWN to them? Is he a SPORTS STAR? NO.

Hey, he's not even alive, so unless rigor mortis played some kind of trick, his black dick is of NO interest to THEM.

Let's call a spade a spade.

If they were three GAYS sitting in the front row, everyone would say "OK, they're GAY, and they're busy checking the Vogue website, or hunting for news on George Michael, or demanding that the "ice bucket challenge" involve AIDS instead of ALS. There's NOTHING wrong with that."

So these KKK girls, who barely register brain waves on a CAT scan, don't give a damn about a BLACK person unless there's money AND a big dick involved.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

Racism EXISTS, everyone. There are Arab sheiks who only want to put white women into WHITE SLAVERY. There are African kings who likewise, only want to hear the squeal of an Asian girl who never had a dick up her ass. There are Jews who are only attracted to Swedish girls. There are Swedish men who only fuck meatballs and guys in Holland who like to go up to a wall and stick it into the crack of a dyke.

Opposites attract. Thin Jewish Woody Allen ended up with round, pie-faced Soon-Yi. His reason? "The heart wants what it wants."

So let's not make fun of the KKK for rushing to their phones and not pretending to be interested in a dead black kid who, they'd probably tell you, hastened his own demise by acting GANGSTA in front of a cop who just had enough shit to deal with for one day.

You stay on that phone, KIM KARDASHIAN. And I'm NOT gonna tell the world that what you were really doing was showing a photo of KANYE's COCK to your step sisters. As in, "I've shown you what I get at night, now you show me yours..."

Let's TITTER about going TOPLESS

"It isn't just homosexuals who hate women," Mr. Ernest Gebler wrote, "NOBODY likes them."

That's a line from his book, later spoken by Peter Sellers in the film version. Check out "Hoffman" sometime.

The title character was driven to near madness by "precious mammary fat," and by the teasing tarts who tormented him just for the fun of showing off.

Do you know what a popular legal definition of obscenity is? It's "exciting prurient interest." In other words, calling attention to sexuality when a person is not prepared for it or wanting it. By that definition, going topless is obscene. In fact, wearing a slutty outfit is just as obscene. One reason women are hated, is because they tease. They mince around demanding that everybody stare at them...when they don't put out.

All they want is for everybody's head to turn. They want everybody's attention. Nobody's telling 'em to paint their faces up and spend hours at the beauty parlor, and turn every record store into a fucking Nail Salon. They do it because it's part of their nefarious nature.

And in case you missed it, yesterday was "GO TOPLESS DAY." As usual, this event was NOT well-publicized before it happened. It was in the news today as "ha ha ha, YOU MISSED it...so we'll show you some teasy, censored pictures of a few obnoxious sluts..."

Pretty irritating and lame, huh? What was the point?

The point was for a bunch of sniggering bitches to say, in essence, LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH, HA HA HA HA.

Or, in the case of the only attractive one, mostly likely, LOOK...BUT IF YOU WANT MORE, PAY FOR IT.

Here's the truth. Guys hate to be TEASED just as much as women hate to be taunted with come-ons when they walk down the street. It's part of the worst and most unfair and obnoxious warfare in the battle of the sexes.

Technically, it's LEGAL to go topless in New York City. All that stops women from doing it...is the razzing, whistling, and dirty suggestions they get if they do. And they deserve it. Because it excites prurient interest.

The STUPIDEST thing about the fake issue of "going topless" is that "men and women both have breasts." No, aside from some fat guys, it's only WOMEN who have breasts, and certainly only WOMEN who have sexy boobs. They're called "secondary sexual characteristics," and they're hanging off women's chests primarily to arouse men. Flat-chested women give as much milk as big-breasts ones, so that ain't it. The other factor is that women tend to be much more aroused by having their nipples sucked then men are. Women's breasts are...SEXUAL, much more than men's.

Our society keeps SEXUAL areas OUT of view because it's the right thing to do. It's distracting otherwise, to put it mildly.

Most women, of course, wouldn't think of going topless even on a private 500 acre estate. Because they don't want their precious boobs to sag or get sunburned. Because they don't want to wipe sweat from underneath, or worry about the growth of bacteria.

The truth is that NOBODY should go topless. I know...when you're 16, 18, you think how COOL it would be, and why shouldn't we all see naked flesh on the street, and if nothing else, duck into an alley for a quick wank. The answer, as you mature, is that some things should be private. Some things you should look forward to. Just as when you're a kid, you think it would be great to eat nothing by candy bars and sodas all day...when you're an adult, you realize that having a dessert once in a while makes it a treat...and it's better to keep it that way.

Look at these stupid women. One of them is obviously a whore. She probably is upset that she wasn't mentioned by name all over the Internet, the better to start her porn career or make money without using Craig's List.

Otherwise, what do you have? A few skanky teases? The kind who can't compete unless they're naked? The kind of nitwits who get a kick out of having minority men stare at their titties...as long as that's all they can do?

Most odious are the ugly fat pigs who use the day to make everyone sick...and the obnoxious bints who DON'T go all the way but put little coy pasties on, and sashay around like they're stars.

And who goes to these events? Frankly, even if the event was publicized, most guys wouldn't bother. Why give aid and comfort to the enemy? Why go someplace and stare haplessly, or cheer stupidly, just so women can feel superior?

Years ago, Bill Cosby lampooned going to strip shows where some bitch is "throwing her nasty underwear around." Why go? "It makes about as much sense," he said, "as standing in front of a bakery window when you're a diabetic. Why do you want to torture yourself? Why look at something you're NOT gonna get?"

So the event mostly attracts desperate obese "photographers," who will go jerk off to the pictures once they get home. Few men would go and be part of a pathetic mob of idiots staring at titties as if they've never seen a pair and can't go watch a movie at home. So the other big group of men at the event are the grim members of the media who HAVE to cover it. They don't want to be at this stupid non-event; they'd rather listen to the police radio and race off to get dramatic footage of an accident. What they want is to be the only one at the scene, and the only one to get the iconic reaction of a victim or horrified onlooker that will get them the cover of TIME Magazine.

What's the soundtrack for the pictures above? "Look at that STUPID GIRL" more than "Wonderful World." More "Ah, look at all the lonely people."

Viley Virus - Savior of the Hunky Homeless

What, aside from the Kardashians sitting in the front row, and honors for BEYONCE (accompanied by the glorious Jay-Z and their wonderful baby dollop BLUE), did this year's bullshit MTV awards give us?

It gave us the chance to revere the reborn, better-than-ever, Saint Viley.

Yes, all through social media and the twit gossip sites, everyone's cheering VILEY VIRUS for sending a "homeless man" up on stage to get a meaningless award on her behalf.

You notice, she didn't pick your typical down-and-out bum...your typical drunken loser...your typical black asshole mumbling "spare change, spare change" with a threat to follow you till you give him money. She didn't pick one of the ranting crackheads overdosing on the MOLLY that Viley Virus always sings about.

It was some adorable long-haired hippie guy who cleaned up very well...

Excuse me for not being all that sympathetic...but in an age when Henry Rollins and Rush Limbaugh can sneer at Robin Williams for killing himself...I think I might be allowed to say "FUCK YOU" to THAT guy and VILEY.

Homeless? For how long, and why?

Would it surprise you to learn the truth about the Duuuuuuuuuuude that Viley chose? The Duuuuuuuuude named, of course, JESSE? JESSE the DUDE said:

"I am accepting this award on behalf of the 1.6 million runaways and homeless youth in the United States who are starving and lost and scared for their lives...I know, because I am one of those people."

Aw, duuuuuuuuuuude. I feeeeel for yewwwwwwwwww.

You're homeless because you're an asshole who ran away from home. Who wanted to do drugs. Who didn't have the brains to stay in school. Who thought it was KEWL to go crash at friends' homes and then camp out and have a Big Adventure...which turned into something you couldn't handle? FUCK YOU.

Viley naturally picked JESSE THE DUUUUUUUUUDE rather than yank an alkie out of an alley, get some old Nigga with no teeth, or try and catch a fat redneck crazy bitch who spends her time telling guys, "Give me money OR ELSE I'LL GIVE YOU A BLOW JOB."

There are some people who have suddenly had hard luck in this shitty world...they lose a job, can't get another, and living from paycheck to paycheck...suddenly get evicted. They are literally homeless. BUT...they have the brains, the resources, the skills...to use social services, to talk their way into getting help, and if they have to live somewhere crappy before they can get back to where they once were...they do it.

The majority of these homeless people are homeless for a good reason...they are fuck-ups. However they fucked up, they aren't doing much to improve their lot, except annoying everybody, stinking up the streets, and using the money they get to fuck themselves up even more. We have over-population. We have limited resources. That's not gonna change because some androgyne invited some guy on stage at an awards show.

The repulsive thing is that just as the Muslim maniacs need religion...the Christians need a VILEY VIRUS. It's all about worship. It's all about the false idol. The Muslims are disgusting for doing it with an imaginary friend...and using this imaginary friend as an excuse for murder. The Christians (and failed Buddhists, and atheists, and agnostics, and Jews, etc.) go find a CELEBRITY to worship. Just as disgusting as the Muslims, these brain-washed morons insist their IDOL can DO NO WRONG.

All over social media I'm reading "Oh, you go girl," and "Miley is WONDERFUL!" and "Thank You Saint Miley, You really CARE ABOUT PEOPLE."

Nevermind the thousands who OD'd on Molly because of her. The thousands of girls who've gone off twerking and fucking with total strangers and ending up with a baby that'll be homeless on the street in a dozen years. Forget about the bad message she's sent to millions of teenagers who've wasted Mum and Dad's money on Viley perfume and Viley t-shirts and overpriced tickets to Viley shows. How do you get homeless? Have a teenager who bankrupts you by making you buy VILEY VIRUS shit.

This is almost as hokey as the "ice bucket challenge" crap...where self-centered "stars" giggle and roar and squeal as they briefly douse themselves and parade around to get publicity. "Oh, but it's for a good cause...it's raised money for ALS..." Rich people who have all the publicity in the world...want more? And we're supposed to cheer them and fawn on them, and get down on our knees and call them SAINTS?

Christ.

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET???

EMPTY TV AWARDS: Check Out What They Whore

Do you remember when MTV first arrived? The idea was to promote the music.

It didn't take long for MTV to degenerate into Mindless Trivial Vomit.

Instead of the music, the emphasis quickly went to "fashion," and that included everything from idiot guys with glue in their hair (Flock of Seagulls) to brainless sluts parading around in garbage bags (Total Coelo). Once in a while fashion and music successfully collided (Annie Lennox) but not often.

And as the music industry turned a darker shade of turd, it became more and more about how surly the gangstas could look as they made their moronic finger gestures and bared their metal "grillwork" teeth...and how utterly whorish and slutty a Li'l Kim or Viley Virus could look.

Check out what they sang? No, they don't sing. They vocoder their voices or just shout and whine. So it's "Check Out..." the outfits on these monkey-women who mostly look like they have every STD a $20 whore could have and still stand up without hobbing or attracting seagulls and rats.

Remember when the ideal of beauty was Linda Ronstadt? Stevie Nicks? As awful as most of her music was, at least Olivia Newton-John was cute. Nobody had fake tits. If the make-up was tawdry, it was because David Bowie or Mick Jagger was wearing it. And is there NO way of keeping Kim Kunt Trashian out of sight? No. She gets around faster than the Ebola virus...and is even more deadly.

"I Need a Job and I wanna Be an ISIS Beheader...ISIS beheader..."

Well, well...taking a tip from the beloved Somali Pirates, those poor, misunderstand Niggas...it turns out that the monsters of ISIS have made a fortune from...EXTORTION.

"The Beatles," as the three British Muslim fuckheads are known, have claimed to have made enough money to retire to the lovely country of Kuwait but...WAIT...till they come back for some MORE...they've got greed and love the gore...

I feel as though you ought to know...that they've been bad, as bad as they can be. And if you do, know they hate Jews, and they'll kill YOU as well as ME...

What's not to understand about Muslim insanity? Maybe why they chose "John, George and Ringo" and couldn't find a Paul. That's appalling.

Based on the kidnap of a man named Lear, and I need a job, and I wanna be an ISIS beheader...ISIS beheader...

Easy isn't it? Who says it don't come easy? Just saunter around France, Italy, some other cowardly nation, grab somebody off the streets who could fetch a few million...and you've got it. All these Muslim fanatics look alike. They all insist on the religious freedom to hide their faces and call themselves Mohamed al-something or other. It takes something really BIG, like decapitating Mr. Foley on YouTube, to get any action at all. And then what? Assuming they find "John" the Beatle...he'll be treated to Bird pudding and hummus, or whatever the fuck he wants, because he'll be the star in prison. He won't be sent to The Tower. He won't have his fucking head chopped off. And who knows, in another few years, he could be rescued when the new King of England is Habib al-Falafel.

The real Beatles spent such a long time amassing millions of dollars, and had to be entertaining. Now, these Arab scarabs, and most any other band of monkeys from here to Somalia and back...can earn a quiet fortune via kidnap and torture...and then use that fortune to get more converts, more guns, and do more crimes.

Where's Osama bin Louis Armstrong? Let's hear a chorus of "What a Wonderful World."

What can "RUIN" a rapper's "FUN?" Chris Brown "Disappointed..." by SHOOTING!

There was a time when a "Music Video Awards" show party...was a party.

Can you imagine the entourage for Duran Duran opening fire on the Flock of Seagulls?

Now that thugs and "rappers" and mindless shit-music have taken over, all we ever hear is the bad behavior of skanky trash like Minaj and Beyonce and repulsive Mary Bilge...and the murderous antics of "Fiddy" and other dopey-named assholes like Kanye and "SUGE."

Let's get real, yo. Justin Bieber? Viley Virus? These are just deluded little white pussies...androgynes who are absolutely LAUGHABLE compared to the NIGGAZ they wish they were. Viley has no ass to twerk with. Bieber would drop in agony if someone touched him with a toothpick. Am I kidding? Go watch the Letterman show where Bieber was squealing because Dave TOUCHED his tattoo!

Darwin was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Back in the era of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., black people...with a lot of white help...climbed the ladder of equality and respectability and pride. Blacks challenged the notion that "Black people don't know how to act in public." The proof of equality was Dr. King in his suit and tie, speaking forcefully and logically, rising above violence. Christ, even the fucking Four Tops and the Supremes were well dressed. Sidney Poitier. Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis. Black is beautiful.

Now? Now it's this GANGSTA shit, and this NIGGA crap, and the media falling all over themselves to admiringly write up the stupid, STUPID antics of dumbasses like Chris Brown. Why is it that the media almost NEVER condemns the stupidity of black celebrities? Because they want to keeping getting access? They don't want Chris Brown to turn away and NOT give every detail of every ho he beats up? They want to shuck and jive with "Fiddy" and the mob? They know that soon enough black overpopulation will mean even more idiot rap music to pretend to like?

The blacking if media-entertainment hasn't brought us more actors of quality, like Poitier. Who is a great black actor? Morgan Freeman, 90 years old or whatever he is? Who does nothing except play Morgan Freeman? So instead critics dumb down and praise garbage movies from Tyler Perry and cry "PRECIOUS" was a BRILLIANT movie and its obese and disgusting "star" is a FINE actress! MORE! PLEASE! Loved the scene where she threw up her fried chicken!

All that's happened after Tupac (the beloved TUPAC) was shot...is that he has been resurrected to the level of Jesus Christ. Ohhh, TUPAC! What a hero! WHAT A MARTYR!

Instead of the world turning in disgust and derision at yet another "party" full of blacks turning into violence, everyone's sniffling and sobbing and agreeing with po' po' Chris Brown...it's so DISAPPOINTING that some people were nearly shot to death. So, Chris, this all happened befo' you could snort some cocaine, suck barbecued ribs, strip some Fried chicken to the bone, or beat the shit out of your girlfriend? Oh, yes, how DISAPPOINTING for you....

Fulla Baloney Frank Maloney - IE, Kellie the Kunt

When I first heard about pipsqueak-ish little Maloney turning into a woman...

...I can't say I cared much. Frank who? Oh, a boxing manager. For the semi-masculine Lennox Lewis. Yeah. So?

At this point, 2014, the man-into-woman thing is pretty much of a bore. Born in the wrong body? Wanna cut your dick off? Go ahead. Be a rather homely woman. Squat when you piss. Wear adorable outfits if you think that's what being a woman is all about.

Then it turns out that this Frank Maloney-Kellie Maloney...is still a promoter...that this sob story is part of making a fortune off being on the hideous BIG BROTHER "reality" series.

I've never watched "Big Brother" in American or British editions, or any reality show shit. Maybe Maloney didn't have enough money for the transformation...and looked to a reality show paycheck to complete the snip?

It still seems extremely cheesy, and it smells like...well, I have no idea what a fake cunt smells like, but it can't be good.

You can NEVER be too cynical, can you? There's always an angle. It's always about fame and fortune in the end. The motive is so rarely anything as simple as honest emotion or selfless morality. It's all a conjob...whether you're a prick, a cunt, or a fake combo of both.