WHAT'S entertainment??
I thought the point of entertainment was, well, to entertain. To amuse. To let me take my mind off the grinding tensions, anxieties and frustrations of daily life.
What do I get instead?
Last night, I flipped around between the three yappers, Letterman, Fallon and Kimmel...and between the re-runs and the stupidity, I lingered with Kimmel when "for fun" he decided to have a "diaper changing" contest with the atrocious Kunt Kardashian. Kim Kuntrashian. Kanye Kunt. Whatever.
WHY did I think this would be amusing? Kimmel can often rescue stale bits by quipping. But opposite such a powerful media cunt as Kuntrashian, he knew he couldn't get off any wisecracks. No jokes about her fat ass. Or her lack of brains.
We're talking ROYALTY. When a Kuntrashian, a Lohan, a Paris Hilton DEIGNS to be on your show, you better behave and treat these spoiled brats like it's their birthday. Lots of gifts. Lots of compliments.
To be fair, Jimmy Fallon had Lohan on some months ago, and they staged a water fight. Lohan lost and was a good sport...but then again, Lohan's had so many failed movies, so many problems, she's LUCKY to be allowed on a talk show.
Kimmel tossing water on Kuntrashian? No...no such entertainment.
Kimmel and the Kunt spent 90 excruciating seconds seeing how many baby dolls they could diaper. See, both of them have fresh spawn, because they an afford nannies and life in a gated community has the illusion of a future. They don't realize their kids will grow up in a more polluted and dangerous world than ever.
Kimmel, having fawned, stuttered and grovelled with Kanye as a guest, was now having Kanye's "lady" on the show (if you can call a cocksucker who makes porn videos any kind of a lady). He made sure that Kunt won the contest easily. He pretended to be inept at diapering a plastic doll. He even managed to deftly press a button so the baby doll squirted "piss" on him. The crowd loved it.
I was not amused nor entertained.
Kim was a robot through the whole thing. Like any 12 year-old trying to be superior, she took her job seriously, and never looked over at Kimmel's clowning. She was gonna WIN! Nevermind he was letting her win.
I had never actually spent 90 seconds watching Kuntrashian before. I don't recall ever hearing her speak. Sure enough, this self-important airhead could do nothing except groan in a Paris Hilton voice, "I won."
I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that this bitch can't string even two sentences together, and had nothing to say except to affirm, "I won."
The whole point of Kuntrashian being a guest was to promote the new season of "Keeping up with the Kardashians," which unfortunately seems like it will NEVER go off the air unless somebody drops a bomb that takes out every Kardashian and Jenner in California.
What could be worse news than a new season of KARDASHIAN bullshit and self-promotion? The "reality" show in which trailer trash and black morons look up to a media whore and her surly stupid rapper-husband?
Worse...is that Craig Ferguson (admittedly worn out and annoying after 20 years) is leaving and...a replacement has been named.
Some guy named Corden. WHO?
Seems there's an epidemic of fat-faced British comedians these days, and Corden is one of 'em. Peter Kay is another, and there's some guy deliberately named Tubby or Pudgy or something like that. It's pretty remarkable of CBS to have chosen somebody who is ABSOLUTELY UNKNOWN IN AMERICA, even by Anglophiles. The strategy, it's said, is that there will be no expectations other than an accent just as difficult as Ferguson's. Somehow, 12:30am on CBS is now deemed "non-American time." I know, Craig's become a citizen, but to the general populace he's still some guy from Scotland. So now...we get some guy from England. Oh...there's also John Oliver, as unfunny as the jerk he's replaced, the great (to some) Stephen Colbert.
Whoever Corden is...hopefully he'll be more interesting than the weasel-faced Seth Myers...who used to read the fake news on "Saturday Night Live." He couldn't get through a punchline without a toothy smirk. Now that he has his own show he's demonstrated no skill in stand-up, interviewing or sketch comedy. Then again, at 12:30am, nobody with any life should still be watching TV.
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