Ebay Ghoul Wants to Feast on Don Pardo

It's always interesting to see what happens when a celebrity, of one sort or another, dies.

EBAY is a good barometer of fame. Last week when Robin Williams died, ZOOM, over FIVE HUNDRED items got posted, most of them autographed items. Professional dealers raked in $100 or $200 from kneejerk fans instantly wanting something to remember him by.

One thing about professional dealers...they plan ahead.

Here's a dealer who wrote to little-known DON PARDO, and is now hoping to cash in:

That's your typical EBAY GHOUL in action.

There were actually more than these four!

The ghouls scan the Internet and the fan blogs and forums, and discover which celebrities are a soft touch. This is usually the B-list or obscure celeb whose home address is easy to get. Like announcer Don Pardo.

Next step? Send cheap, easy to mail items like index cards...and write an accompanying brief form letter note requesting autographs. A LOT OF THEM. Claim you're going to give them out to your "school class." Or as "bonus rewards" for charitable donations during "pledge drive." Whatever.

Since some stars are wary of signing index cards that can lead to easy forgeries, some ghouls use playing cards or "first day issue" envelopes.

Here, we have a ghoul who sent both index cards AND playing cards. Maybe not at the same time. Maybe he (or she) waited a few months to strike again. Maybe he (or she) waited a while and had an accomplice write in.

I recall the case of a memorabilia table dealer and his MOTHER...and that's what they'd do. They'd wait a while till the celebrity wasn't likely to recognize the SAME ADDRESS...and send a second request. Or third. Or fourth. Whatever the traffic might bear.

Sometimes the celebrity happily signed and sent extra signed 8x10's...personalized to Theresa and Stan, or whatever the jerk's name was. I do remember one of 'em was Theresa. I laughed as I looked over this nickel-and-dime stuff they were selling for a few dollars: "Why didn't you put John and Mary on the return address? You'd be more likely to get somebody with a common name happy to get a "personalized" item than Theresa or Stan." The morons stared at me. "Never thought of that."

Yeah, I violated the W.C. Fields rule: "Never smarten up a chump."

I know celebs who no longer sign index cards. They don't like fake compliments or being scammed. I know celebs who are amazed at how much "form letter" junk they get, and wonder if they should "disappoint" these people or not. I tell 'em, THEY ARE GHOULS. They will either sell this stuff at a memorabilia table somewhere, or do it on eBay, or wait till you die to make a killing.

I've seen these ghouls even sell angry letters...from very stupid actors and actresses (are there any other kind) who actually wrote and signed: "I am returning your photos. I know you are selling them." Hey, five bucks, ten bucks...that's not only an authentic signature, but it's a colorful document!

So here's this poor old Don Pardo, who as you can see, can barely hold a wavery pen to paper...and the ghoul was just waiting for him to die so he (or she) could try and get $8 or $10 per item.

Lovely....LOVELY...