All over FARCEBOOK there were self-important cunts posing with their "celebrity friends," to the admiration of other fools. "Wow, you got to meet Slut McTwat, are you LUCKY!"
The convention attracts low-class idiots who live in their own fantasy world. They call themselves "Doctor" or "Captain" or...
Oh, it's the famous Professor Fuckhead! Or was that Professor Moron. Or was it Captain Loser.
He has to use his fake ID on Farcebook, and take selfies with his loser friends, and then try and get photos with D-listers.
It's a strategy that hopeless, homely losers actually accentuate their geeky traits by wearing mutant hairstyles, moronic t-shirts or silly costumes...and adopt a witless name ("Prof Splat" "Doctor Diaper" "Captain Zit"). This, they think, converts their hapless creepiness into hipster cool.
Fashion is something ugly people need. You can bet this tomato-nosed clay-faced crapload spent a LOT of time in thrift shops to create his perfect wardrobe of idiotic hat, dopey jacket and accessories. He probably wears this same outfit to EVERY Chiller show year in and year out.
First, he instantly takes a SELFIE with his idiot friend, to prove to the world that he was AT the convention. He wants to boast to his Farcebook "friends" (hundreds of other losers with too much time on their hands) that, har har har, he and his shower buddy had a great time being WILD AND CRAZY GUYS.
Then he gets to be a john and PAY women for a service. In this case, tolerating his body odor for 10 seconds so his pal can get the snapshot.
Oh well, if these guffawing cretins were introverted, they'd be in jail for blowing away school kids with a semi-automatic.
Some Farcebook people were taking the opportunity to promote themselves. You know that deal: "Here's yours truly with a certain FAMOUS star who I invited to have a FREE PIZZA SLICE at my Italian restaurant which you can reach by..." or "I'm sure Mr. No Longer Famous will be starring in my new film. I told him I was finishing my script and I would love to send it to him!" Or "I'm a self-absorbed fag who tags every celebrity I take a selfie with. I hope it impresses other fags to PM me and get the "dish" on what it was like to be next to a star. I hope they want to come over and see my collection of campy photos with D-list actresses and then fuck me in the ass."
That kind of shit. There were even females who were wetting their panties to meet someone they had a crush on 40 years ago, or somebody of dubious recent fame.
Nothing like getting a cry of "awesome" for standing next to somebody most of us never heard of and wouldn't recognize.
There were some shy photographers who snuck pictures, but did it so badly you can hardly figure out who the fuck is sitting lonesomely at a table, forgotten. Good thing this idiot told us who the D-lister is.
What's the Lee Majors pic supposed to do? Document that nobody is on line and nobody cares that he was once a TV star? Or is it supposed to deflect the stardom onto the photographer? "Wow, YOU took a picture of Lee Majors!" "Right, and all I had to do was drive to the middle of nowhere in New Jersey, pay $20 to get in, and then hope the D-listers would be too depressed to call for a bouncer to throw me out for taking free pictures."
Most don't go to "document" the event for their Farcebook page (pretending to be a photo journalist for the Times, I guess). No, most want their picture WITH a celebrity.
HEY!
NOTHING makes a NOBODY feel like a SOMEBODY more than having a picture with a HAS-BEEN.
How corny. Here's another clueless fool who spent an hour checking the angle on his porkpie hat, and strutting around thinking, "You're aces, ACE." Wanna bet he nicknamed HIMSELF Ace?"
And, yep, he had to write "Yours Truly" on his caption. What's that pose tell you? That this loser thinks that sidling up to a has-been makes him Mr. Cool??
Jeez, he's paying to pose next to an ex-KISS guitarist who still should be wearing make-up. What DO you do when you were thrown out of a rock band years and years and YEARS ago, and look like a wart? You half-heartedly point to the smug moron mugging for the camera. If he was writing the caption it would be "I don't know this asshole" or "Look, he paid me the $20."
But don't feel bad if you couldn't afford another $20 for your picture taken with ACE after spending $20 on an autograph. Just show everyone the autograph. Don't mention that you PAID for it, which makes it NO BIG DEAL AT ALL.
Jean Shepherd, long dead radio guy and comedian and writer, had a catch-phrase: "How did I end up with THESE idiots?" It's a good reason to avoid going to conventions like this. You end up thinking, "Am I also to be perceived as some aging asshole who could use a bath?"
You really can't dress up in a suit and tie for something like this. You need to dress comfortable as you get jostled, and start to sweat in the suffocatingly warm "suites" full of fanboy cattle and half-wit heifers. As you see from the fashionable Bill Hoobastank, cheap Dockers pants and a thrift shop shirt is all you need.
Now get ready for Hoobastank competition!
Below is an aging fanboy with a fungus beard, who captions every photo with pandering pap about how "nice" the celebrity was. He couldn't resist a jab at overweight Burt Ward, though. He also wasn't happy that 87 year-old Adam West and his manager wouldn't let a jerk like him take a selfie. No, Adam's eyes are delicate and he usually wears sunglasses, and most definitely doesn't want to be clutched, touched, or have to endure flash pix every minute. But you wouldn't expect mongoloid, childish "fans" to understand anything like that. To them, any stupid request that isn't granted makes a star "BAD" or "MEAN." If the star has hired somebody to lay down the law, the star could still be called "BAD" or "MEAN" for not overruling the person who is trying to make life a little easier and less humiliating.
You'd think with a beard like that, which so closely resembles a dead sloth, this guy wouldn't be such an ASS KISSER. Yet you can bet his tongue could slither out and lick the shoes of anyone he took a photo with.
And yet, didn't you sense a certain "superiority" in how he presented the pictures?
That's the odd twist to these events. The ugly, lame, gruesome, stupid people of New Jersey come out, and as much as they are in awe of D-listers, they also get a certain glee in being bigger than the stars. After all, the stars NEED them. The stars want money from them. Interesting exchange of power, here: both the star and the nobody swap roles, and both are governed by even more famous people: the dead Presidents on the MONEY.
Sloth-face seemed to think these poor, pathetic D-listers need HIM to be a press agent. He's hot-linked their names so they'll notice him, and maybe put his picture on their Farcebook page. More fame to HIM.
The "Stars" who do these stupid conventions usually have a Farcebook page, and yes, they WILL figure to prove their fame by assembling all the pictures of themselves that they took with idiots who paid $20. This, in turn, they hope, will inspire fools to drive to the next convention near them, and pay to also have a photo taken which they can post.
Sloth-face was very condescending in his remarks about the stars, but the stars are grateful. Many will post his pix on THEIR page to show they are still relevant and "happy to meet the fans."
Yes, fanboys and fangirls and the stars all "had a good time."
I think I had a very good time being SOMEWHERE ELSE.
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