"Coffee Time" Darren figures if he has a thousand lonely dummies impressed by his meandering blabber, he's ready to be the next Jonathan Woss.
People are programmed to obediently watch anyone who is on any kind of tube. Even GooTube. So the next step: his own CABLE CHANNEL! It will be ALL DARREN ALL THE TIME!
Subscribe and you'll get all his idiot progrock reviews, all his simpering nastiness, all his inane and boring drivel about his daily life, and most of all, a constant yammer of his one-sided brain-damaged opinions on EVERYTHING.
"Seriously," he mumbles, using that special intimate voice that's as mild as a rabbit fart, "I know I have it in me to be a compelling TV personality. I can talk to you like some quiet patient in a mental institution, or I can turn up the volume and be as much of an insistent and cocksure facemaker as Steve Bunce!"
Says Darren, "I admit I am full of shit, but once I start making money, and stop having to do a camcorder in a spare room of my tatty flat for GooTube, I'll get that high colonic I so richly deserve. So please support my project. If you don't, well, here's the middle finger, 'coz I'm my own gorilla. Er, man."
Here's the promotional banner for KICKSTARTER! Start digging deep in your pockets!
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