Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Come on, lemme bake you on a ... SEA CRUISE

Got two thousand bucks?

Have I got FIVE DAYS OF FUN for YOU!

You can meet ALL your favorites, too!

Yes, the ubiquitous Micky Dolenz. The ever-young Peter Noone. And the fabulous Bo Bice?? HE is the lead singer for Blood Sweat and Tears? And why the fuck would anyone care about Matt Rousch? Who is Christian Nesmith? In what shape is Gary Puckett? WHO is in the Grass Roots? Are there complimentary seasick bags?

Be prepared to pay for EXTRAS. Maybe an autograph will cost an extra $20. Or a photo op.

The air fare to get you to where the boat is is NOT INCLUDED. But gee, you get to push and shove your way to the free food and to try and get into the sleazy stage areas where the "artists" will perform.

Sea cruises...being cooped up in a tiny cabin like a bad hotel only in addition to screaming kids and boorish drunks,the toilets might back up, the stink of oil and sea water is omnipresent, and you're STUCK with NO ESCAPE.

People who think sea cruises are fun also think watching aging men sing "I'm Henry the Eighth" would be fun. They like to see a guy they never heard of shouting, "Spinning wheel, got to turn 'round!" And of course, let's never tire of rallying behind hippies whining: "Come on, people now, smile on yer brother, everybody get together, gotta love everybody RIGHT NOW!"

If you've got the time and money for this...you deserve to die. RIGHT NOW.

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