ADELE new album 25 songs about being a Fat Pig

Arrogant Adele, every porcine housewife's role model, will be bellowing and oinking on a NEW ALBUM!

"So, sit back," she laughs, "get yourself a few dozen packets of crisps, and stuff your gob as you listen! My songs sound better when you're chewing!"

Adele unabashedly calls her new album "MISS PIGGY."

Just as sluts are fighting back against "slut shaming," Adele is fighting back against the "negative image of BBW's. We are BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, and if we want to distort our bodies, and binge and gorge every day, that's our pride! I love it when obese women march around in swim suits and tell the world that there are many types of beauty. No question, pigs are actually beautiful. Especially roasted on a spit."

With an army of overweight women making sure everything she does sells, and with gay men snickering as they make sure she wins music awards, ADELE has boldly come up with an entire pig-themed collection of songs. "25 songs? Actually it's more than that, but you know me, I can't count calories or anything else. Even my strech marks have bonus tracks!"

"I've gone retro," she says. "That means I stuck a feeding tube up my ass. I just can't get enough by eating the normal way."

Since nobody really knows who The Beatles are anymore, ADELE is going back to cover some of their songs. She's not only adding custom-lyrics, but heaping on production values from geniuses like Jay-Z and Timbalake. Guest musicians battling against her typhoon vocals will be drummer Apey Savage and percussionists from Clapson’s Shipyard.

Thrill to:

PIGGIES
CARRY THAT WEIGHT
I AM THE WALRUS
BUNGALOW BUILT
IF I FELL (I'D NEVER GET UP)
DIG A PONY (FOR DINNER)
EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY WAISTLINE
THE FOOL IS A HILL
TURDS OF BLOB
BRING ME SOME MUSTARD
THREE COOL CADBURY BARS
LOVELY RIBINA
DEAR PRUNE JUICE
CRY FOR A CHIP BUTTY
BACON THE USSR
THERE'S A PLACE: TESCO!
I'LL FOLLOW THE SUNDAE
THE LONG AND WINDING TONGUE
LOOSE BOWELS IN THE STY WITH DIAPERS
I SAW HER STANDING THERE (WHILE SHE WAS SITTING DOWN)
GETTING FATTER ALL THE TIME
I'M HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE
OBESE ME, LAH-DE-DAH
ROLL OVER, BIG OVEN
STRAWBERRY PIES FOREVER
(I LOOK LIKE A) YELLOW SUBMARINE
WHILE MY DIARRHEA GENTLY WEEPS
SHE SAID SHE SAID ("I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE FAT")
SHE COULDN'T FIT THROUGH THE BATHROOM WINDOW
I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE PANTY (SO I'LL TAKE IT OFF)
WHEN I'M 64 STONE
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAM